tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post115894867454087405..comments2023-12-16T22:38:40.273-08:00Comments on .: Best friendsmenohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159750265825262502006-10-01T17:51:00.000-07:002006-10-01T17:51:00.000-07:00My daughter has much older friends as well (they'r...My daughter has much older friends as well (they're neighbors and she's grown up with one, which makes them hard to avoid), so I'm dealing with some of the problems that come with that. Luckily they're not juvenile deliquents, but it got her introduced to the "emo" scene, which I could have SO lived without.Teri M.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11414002467075975778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159134899233178662006-09-24T14:54:00.000-07:002006-09-24T14:54:00.000-07:00carolie, yes, that is true. I went and stayed w/m...carolie, yes, that is true. I went and stayed w/my brother when he first went to college. Man was i in over my head.<BR/><BR/>esereth, nothing really for Em to prove. She will be off herself in a dorm in less than 2 years, i just want to keep her as safe as possible until then.menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159123060099494032006-09-24T11:37:00.000-07:002006-09-24T11:37:00.000-07:00oooo, tough.You know, I stayed with my sister in h...oooo, tough.<BR/><BR/>You know, I stayed with my sister in her dorms when I was 13...no...that's different. She had an unspoken responsibility to look out for me.<BR/><BR/>When will you let Em go? 16? 17? If she proves herself somehow?Imezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00604872676391743281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159121272920001072006-09-24T11:07:00.000-07:002006-09-24T11:07:00.000-07:00Good for you, and for Marisa's dad! I was a prett...Good for you, and for Marisa's dad! I was a pretty straight arrow (read: boring!) but even at that I was pretty judgement free as a freshman. My little brother used to come visit me at college, and it certainly wasn't because he craved my company...it was for the parties and lack of parental oversight!<BR/><BR/>Freedom + youth + a need to show off for one's younger friend = a recipe for disaster.Caroliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637418089860927715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159055307829783582006-09-23T16:48:00.000-07:002006-09-23T16:48:00.000-07:00hi friend, my humble opinion too, obviously. Than...hi friend, my humble opinion too, obviously. Thanks for coming by.<BR/><BR/>holly, this is a no apology zone, didn't you see the sign? Anyway, your comment wasn't really very long, and i appreciate the understanding.<BR/><BR/>josephine, you know in some ways it's not really about trust, it's that they can't really think through the ramifications of their decisions. "I know, let's walk to the McDonalds that's a mile away at 2 in the morning! That's a good idea!" I mean, that's what we used to do.<BR/><BR/>marian, thanks for the understanding. It's always helpful to have input from those who have ventured into this arena before me. Em didn't really make much more than a token fuss, she knew that when i said no way, that i meant it.<BR/><BR/>lisa, Em is a lot like me, and so i know the kinds of things that she might try and pull, because i did them and my parents weren't paying attention, but i am! Thanks for the photo compliment, they are the cutest flowers. I'm always sorry when the lawn gets mowed and they disappear, but they are back within a day or so.<BR/><BR/>urban-urchin, so it's still not safe to go into the beta waters? Yep, i ain't her buddy, and she appreciates that on some level.<BR/><BR/>hi bo, i remember it too, and although i wasn't having sex at that age (icky!) i was drinkin' and smokin'.menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159046002192541872006-09-23T14:13:00.000-07:002006-09-23T14:13:00.000-07:00Go-Dad.Also, truly, there would be no reason that ...Go-Dad.<BR/><BR/>Also, truly, there would be no reason that they would need to stay at the small, cramped, noisy dorms other than to have sex and/or drink.<BR/><BR/>I remember being 15.Bobealia...https://www.blogger.com/profile/15713026993668872520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159042465938550862006-09-23T13:14:00.000-07:002006-09-23T13:14:00.000-07:00Yes well done. And bravo to the dad who is not ha...Yes well done. And bravo to the dad who is not harboring any delusions about his child.<BR/><BR/>I It's hard to make unpopular decisions and risk your child disliking you but they're going to have plenty of friends, and need me to be the parent.<BR/><BR/><BR/>urban-urchin (stupid beta blogger)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159022635656643972006-09-23T07:43:00.000-07:002006-09-23T07:43:00.000-07:00Well done, indeed. I have 2 young daughters and am...Well done, indeed. I have 2 young daughters and am dreading these scenarios. And if they turn out to be anything like I was (scandalous & deceitful) we are in for a rough ride. <BR/>I also wanted to say that photo is beautiful! I wish it were my yard. Here in texas, it has been so hot and dry that most of my garden is parched earth.peevishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14135920853307511091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159021949624540822006-09-23T07:32:00.000-07:002006-09-23T07:32:00.000-07:00We went through some situations like this when Max...We went through some situations like this when Max was 15/16. The best thing you can do is what you did: think about it long and hard, then level with your kid about your comfort level and set the limit. Max came to appreciate the limits we set, because he could see that they weren't knee-jerk, they were well thought out. Even if he disagreed, his displeasure was not extreme. And as you did, we always offered an alternative scenario. Well done.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1159010100328945002006-09-23T04:15:00.000-07:002006-09-23T04:15:00.000-07:00There are a lot of things you can do with a teenag...There are a lot of things you can do with a teenager. Understand them, be inspired by them, have fun watching them reel in their teenage angst...but from what I learned in raising one from 12-17, I can tell you that trusting them to make wise decisions when they are together? <BR/><BR/>Invariably, there will be boys around because the boys sniff them out.<BR/><BR/>So trust is always a mistake :)Josephinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08237934014499308722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1158981198071530822006-09-22T20:13:00.000-07:002006-09-22T20:13:00.000-07:00we went through this about 3 years ago, when Jess'...we went through this about 3 years ago, when Jess' friend moved down from Ohio to go to school in Greensboro. She stayed with us for a few weeks first, and while her mama and I were great friends, and I really liked the girl, she was just a little too far to the left for my daughter to stay with on a college campus.<BR/><BR/>Obviously neither of the girls was very happy about our decision, but they got over it, and have since drifted apart.<BR/><BR/>Sorry for the long comment, but your mama instinct is almost always right, and someday Em will have to face these decisions from the other side; then she'll understand.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1158964221908800582006-09-22T15:30:00.000-07:002006-09-22T15:30:00.000-07:00Having been a kid living in the dorms at college.....Having been a kid living in the dorms at college...I completely agree with both of your judgements. It's no place for a 15 year old, no matter how mature she is or how immature her hostess may be. Just my humble opinion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1158963129241142962006-09-22T15:12:00.000-07:002006-09-22T15:12:00.000-07:00antonia, that is our yard. When we remodeled seve...antonia, that is our yard. When we remodeled several years ago, we put this stuff called "eco-turf" in instead of grass. It's full of clover and yarrow and these lovely english daisies.<BR/><BR/>kj, yeah, god knows i wasn't sound of judgment at 15. But Em looks up to Marisa, so i worry about that weak spot being manipulated.<BR/><BR/>hi maggie, He really is a thoughtful and considerate dad. He had other things to say too, which were equally perceptive and honest.<BR/><BR/>nancy, yeah, i was thinking about that too. I think i majored in THC that year.menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1158962661870200812006-09-22T15:04:00.000-07:002006-09-22T15:04:00.000-07:00Good call. When I think back to my Freshman year....Good call. When I think back to my Freshman year... *shudder*Nancy Dancehallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14169976337329559458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1158956805425157512006-09-22T13:26:00.000-07:002006-09-22T13:26:00.000-07:00I think you took a great approach. Though you tru...I think you took a great approach. Though you trust your gut, it never hurts to consult with Hubby first. That Dad is amazing! Isn't it reassuring when you get to validate that your gut was right?Lynneahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08255266354171825474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1158955803326645602006-09-22T13:10:00.000-07:002006-09-22T13:10:00.000-07:00I just ran my two teen g-kids through the test... ...I just ran my two teen g-kids through the test... then turned the calendar waaaay back and included myself at that age and am not sure any can be considered completely judgement pure... there's a weak spot that can be manipulated in the strongest of them. That said... ya still have to trust.Karen Jacobshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01316270072956883280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1158953953546891032006-09-22T12:39:00.000-07:002006-09-22T12:39:00.000-07:00Sound bloke, as we say in Blighty. You both sound ...Sound bloke, as we say in Blighty. You both sound like wonderful diplomats.<BR/><BR/>Beautiful, beautiful picture, too - your garden or somewhere nearby?Antonia Cornwellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12754292976861979028noreply@blogger.com