tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post116847274744735287..comments2023-12-16T22:38:40.273-08:00Comments on .: what i know now that i didn't know thenmenohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168659393024945932007-01-12T19:36:00.000-08:002007-01-12T19:36:00.000-08:00I have been married for 8 years and this is so tru...I have been married for 8 years and this is so true. I love the bit about shorthand. There was a movie out a few years ago with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfiefer (sp?) where they were considering divorce but they because of their history - at one point she tells him that their kids will never have anyone else's eyes." Does that make sense? It made a lot of sense to me at the time.urban-urchinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18001320142893492171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168613203640233212007-01-12T06:46:00.000-08:002007-01-12T06:46:00.000-08:00First I have to confess that I didn't have the tim...First I have to confess that I didn't have the time to read all of the comments before me, but I just wanted to pop in and say that what you're writing about marriage is so true.<BR/><BR/>Only we have problems with the shorthand speak. After 12 years of being married to each other we still have misunderstandings because of language about four times a day. At least we stopped fighting over them...Susannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14220769941216066968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168564673762470872007-01-11T17:17:00.000-08:002007-01-11T17:17:00.000-08:00cagey, i am still not very good at forgiving and c...cagey, i am still not very good at forgiving and can still get worked up over stuff that happened 15 years ago. Sigh. Maybe by next week i'll be perfect.<BR/><BR/>bob, awww, that is so sweet. I think i wouldn't do everything in my power to keep my kid from doing the same, but if i had an opinion i would sure express it. THEN i would support her no matter what.<BR/><BR/>MOI, luck/fate can sure have a hand in it, but having some judgment about the person you marry counts for a lot.menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168563271970872242007-01-11T16:54:00.000-08:002007-01-11T16:54:00.000-08:00It's a mixture of fate, circumstances and how you ...It's a mixture of fate, circumstances and how you handle them, and The Casino factor..just getting lucky ...for marriage can be a bit of a crapshoot as many things are in life. You can decide if the odds are in your favour and if it's worth the risk. We have choices (luckily) within this frame.Mother of Inventionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03797365678860039018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168551959295147692007-01-11T13:45:00.001-08:002007-01-11T13:45:00.001-08:00not really. I'd keep my mouth shut and be there i...not really. I'd keep my mouth shut and be there if they needed me. who am I to keep them from happiness?Bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13690660290319444722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168551906302694342007-01-11T13:45:00.000-08:002007-01-11T13:45:00.000-08:00I don't know what I would do without Laura. She c...I don't know what I would do without Laura. She completes me.<BR/><BR/>I proposed after knowing her 3 months - after telling her in no uncertain terms why we couldn't get married - and we were married 3 months later. Our first child was born 10 months later.<BR/><BR/>I don't know how I thought I was ready for marriage or fatherhood at the tender age of 22 - but I did. I knew it all, could handle everything. It worked. Maybe (quite probably actually) in spite of myself.<BR/><BR/>And I would do everything in my power to stop my kids from doing the same thing!Bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13690660290319444722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168550121356549652007-01-11T13:15:00.000-08:002007-01-11T13:15:00.000-08:00I think Forgiving is one of the hardest, yet most ...I think Forgiving is one of the hardest, yet most crucial aspects to a marriage. I had a friend who couldn't forgive her husband for a transgression that occurred within the FIRST year - they were married nearly ten years. Ten Long, Unhappy years that ended in divorce anyway. Ironically, her marriage crumbled to bits during the year I was planning my wedding. You can bet a took a page from HER book. Still, it's hard to forgive and I still HATE picking up his f&*ng socks. ;-)<BR/><BR/>Nice post!Cagey (Kelli Oliver George)https://www.blogger.com/profile/13691589813815058981noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168540302214871952007-01-11T10:31:00.000-08:002007-01-11T10:31:00.000-08:00chani, i think you will do much better next time. ...chani, i think you will do much better next time. :)<BR/><BR/>jen, if this is wisdom, it is hard won. The ideas i had about marriage were idiotic, looking back.<BR/><BR/>egan, it is so pretty! We rarely get snow at our house. The cats are puzzled.<BR/><BR/>ddm, and of course there was no way that anyone coulod have told me anything as i already knew it all. HA!<BR/><BR/>mrs.chili, not what we signed up for in the beginning, but that the way it is.<BR/><BR/>ortizzle, the Mister is a snorer too. I'm so used to it that if it's too quiet i wonder if he's breathing.<BR/><BR/>lucia, yes ma'am, it is.<BR/><BR/>sanjay, There aren't too many people who are going to know all our Monty Python, Priscilla Queen of the Desert, Saturday Night Live and Blade Runner lore. And many more of course.<BR/><BR/>sari, sometimes we make the right choices without really knowing it. But i think in many ways we learn to work with what we have. And i mean that in a really positive way.<BR/><BR/>ac, it's a wonderful thing to have someone who makes you laugh.<BR/><BR/>platypus, i hope that the process is easier for you than it has been for me. Probably it will be as you are older than i was when i first got married.menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168538532997228622007-01-11T10:02:00.000-08:002007-01-11T10:02:00.000-08:00That's a lovely post, Meno, and exactly how it sho...That's a lovely post, Meno, and exactly how it should be. I hope I have that one day. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168532251271015902007-01-11T08:17:00.000-08:002007-01-11T08:17:00.000-08:00Love this post. We are going on 4 years and the fi...Love this post. We are going on 4 years and the first year was very emotionally charged as we were both freshly divorced. I learned a lot about him in a hurry -it was like being buried in an avalanche of male emotions. I had never experienced that before, and I think his willingness to be so open with me about his feelings really gave us a good foundation.<BR/><BR/>That being said, yes, sometimes I just want to be alone, thank you, and not tending to his needs - Physical, emotional or otherwise!QThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15544956727530046973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168525757158048802007-01-11T06:29:00.000-08:002007-01-11T06:29:00.000-08:00I married my husband after knowing him barely 3 mo...I married my husband after knowing him barely 3 months, not something I would ever recommend to my own daughter! Not one of my friends nor my mother figured we had a chance. The funny thing is, he made me forget all the garbage that was before him, and 17 years later, just this morning, he told me a story I had not yet heard and made me roar with laughter.<BR/><BR/>Still, there are fleeting moments of not exactly *I hate you*, but more *Good God, go away* or *who ARE you? and where's my backpack*.<BR/><BR/>The forgiveness and the forgiving, you described exactly right. Isn't that pretty. Great post.AChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02949724388906286696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168523450733771942007-01-11T05:50:00.000-08:002007-01-11T05:50:00.000-08:00Great post!One of the things I like most about my ...Great post!<BR/><BR/>One of the things I like most about my husband (even after knowing him for over ten years) is that I never know what he is going to say. He has a wonderful sense of humor and is a real stabilizer for me, which I need.<BR/><BR/>I look back now at when we were first married and think I didn't know him at all then. And he didn't know me. But we got lucky.<BR/><BR/>(PS and I don't like it when he's away either. I don't mind him being out, but away, don't like so much).sarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16144333694009700155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168521834219716432007-01-11T05:23:00.000-08:002007-01-11T05:23:00.000-08:00I like it when you reflect on some of these things...I like it when you reflect on some of these things. They help me do the same and I realize how many things I and *A* have in common to what you say in your post.<BR/>Esp the memories and growing together part.karmichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10973922761187532706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168521323701969302007-01-11T05:15:00.000-08:002007-01-11T05:15:00.000-08:00Ain't that the truth.Ain't that the truth.Luciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05295553538430945014noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168520100548455892007-01-11T04:55:00.000-08:002007-01-11T04:55:00.000-08:00I never thought snoring would sound so good.(I als...I never thought snoring would sound so good.<BR/><BR/>(I also never thought I snored.) <BR/><BR/>Very well said, Meno.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168516663974682842007-01-11T03:57:00.000-08:002007-01-11T03:57:00.000-08:00Yeah. That's it, exactly.Yeah. That's it, exactly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168499108095625542007-01-10T23:05:00.000-08:002007-01-10T23:05:00.000-08:00My favorite line is the last. OH so true. I knew...My favorite line is the last. OH so true. I knew everything when I got married. At age 22. I also knew everything about parenting. Before I had a child. What a RUDE awakening!Sonia Wetzel Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05075315979465608558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168495705039713382007-01-10T22:08:00.000-08:002007-01-10T22:08:00.000-08:00Hey, did you know it's snowing? "Grow or die" is ...Hey, did you know it's snowing? "Grow or die" is a great way to phrase it.eganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03783658744477659987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168491446672214272007-01-10T20:57:00.000-08:002007-01-10T20:57:00.000-08:00YES! YES! YES!exactly. there is so much I too d...YES! YES! YES!<BR/><BR/>exactly. there is so much I too did not know, and am learning, and cannot believe. <BR/><BR/>and then some other things are exactly as I thought they might be. it's somewhat of a human miracle..partnership over the long haul. I want more of this wisdom, Meno..please.Girlplustwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07056576921114387218noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168490331389154352007-01-10T20:38:00.000-08:002007-01-10T20:38:00.000-08:00Sounds like you picked the right guy. Some of us a...Sounds like you picked the right guy. Some of us aren't so wise and pick the wrong guy the first time. (ahem :) <BR/><BR/><BR/>Peace, <BR/><BR/>~Chanithailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168483403343782742007-01-10T18:43:00.000-08:002007-01-10T18:43:00.000-08:00egan, "grow or die" i always say, maybe i'll start...egan, "grow or die" i always say, maybe i'll start saying "blossom or die." As long as it's not my butt that blossoms i am good with it.<BR/><BR/>mommyham, hi there. sound like you hve a good understanding of what it's all about. Keep on laughing 'cause you are not done growing up either.<BR/><BR/>caro, that is a really nice thing to hear about your husband. Lucky woman, lucky man.<BR/><BR/>patches, it's not the time that matters, it's the lens of reality through which you are willing to see your life together. (Was that suitably pretentious?)<BR/><BR/>MOI, it's similar to the post you once did on made up words that your family uses. Mister will not read this, i think.<BR/><BR/>de, how could they indeed. And who are we to disabuse them of the "love" story that they have created in their heads. They will figure it out just like we did. Damn, that was cynical.<BR/><BR/>mamap, so many things. because we are neither of us the same as we were almost 25 years ago. (thank goodness!)<BR/><BR/>lisa, thank you. and ain't that the truth. If he leaves the toilet seat up one more time.....menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168482221964433702007-01-10T18:23:00.000-08:002007-01-10T18:23:00.000-08:00You have such a wonderful way of putting these tho...You have such a wonderful way of putting these thoughts and feeling into words. Although I've only been married for 6+ years, I can understand these sweet sentiments, and that feeling of not being able to sleep unless he's in bed next to me, or at least in the house. <BR/><BR/>Even if I can't stand to listen to him slurp his soup.peevishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14135920853307511091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168481204789930032007-01-10T18:06:00.000-08:002007-01-10T18:06:00.000-08:00You forgot "I did not know that there would be thi...You forgot "I did not know that there would be things I would not know about you until AFTER we were married." Some of them good, some of them bad. That was the HUGE shocker. Great post.Andrea Frazerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14293267612840259503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168480241887758712007-01-10T17:50:00.000-08:002007-01-10T17:50:00.000-08:00As my friends who are marrying later do marry, I h...As my friends who are marrying later do marry, I have found myself thinking, "Oooh, they're rushing into this," because they don't know their future spouse as well as I know mine. But how could they? Why should they? Are they supposed to wait until they're 50 or 60 to marry so they can know what I know about living with another person? But right, as you say, not all marriages are the same. Maybe some people (older people) arrive at their truths a little faster.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1168480046917228222007-01-10T17:47:00.000-08:002007-01-10T17:47:00.000-08:00I love the metaphor "shorthand"...so true. It is ...I love the metaphor "shorthand"...so true. It is so much easier to just know everything about each other because you were actually there for it. After 30 years with the same person (26 married years)I would be very wary meeting someone new and have to start at Ground Zero again. We are both very fortunate to have this in a husband and I thank my lucky stars daily. (Will Mister read this? He might like it!!)Mother of Inventionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03797365678860039018noreply@blogger.com