tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post813164814872136132..comments2023-12-16T22:38:40.273-08:00Comments on .: We've been through worsemenohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-12957305697777169992008-05-30T02:34:00.000-07:002008-05-30T02:34:00.000-07:00Hugs from here.Hugs from here.Andrea Frazerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14293267612840259503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-187198510245609992008-05-28T13:57:00.000-07:002008-05-28T13:57:00.000-07:00Finally mustering the energy to answer all you peo...<I>Finally mustering the energy to answer all you people.</I><BR/><BR/>liv, and he's a good man too. That's something i need to remember more often. Thanks for the body part offer.<BR/><BR/>pat, that's a nice positive way to look at it.<BR/><BR/>deb, i think my problem might be that i don't really have any ambitions. Need to think about that.<BR/><BR/>mrs.4444, oh man, i hope one of those other jobs works out soon. This was a good reminder that i could really have something to complain about.<BR/><BR/>cheesy, sorry, the move will be local. but i LOVE Oregon, especially the coast. Thanks for the thoughts. I am glad to hear from some one who has survived.<BR/><BR/>caro, nice to hear from you. I think part of it is just bullheadedness. I am pretty stubborn. But is that a good thing?<BR/><BR/>nancy, thanks honey. A very little sister. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)<BR/><BR/>crazymumma, your cycle must be shorter than ours, we are here about every three years.<BR/><BR/>lu, that's a hell of a good perspective to have. Thank you.<BR/><BR/>tt, *breathing in-breathing out*<BR/><BR/>peevish, oh hell to the yes!<BR/><BR/>vanessa, thank you. I know he'll fight too, after i remind him.<BR/><BR/>holly, we were young and naive once too, remember? the move would be local. Thanks for the hugs.<BR/><BR/>say it, yes, but she'll be gone in a few months, and it's not her job to support me. She has other, real life fish to fry. What i mean is that i don't want her to feel like she has to pay attention to me right now.<BR/><BR/>pam, i hear koala bears are grumpy little things. :) Thank you.<BR/><BR/>chani, yeah, i love that idea.<BR/><BR/>irrelephant, stop it, you're making me blush. Talk to you Sunday.<BR/><BR/>dick, he does have interests. And i have tried to get him to think this way, but in the end, he works because he likes and needs it, not for the money, for other things. I have to respect that.<BR/><BR/>egan, nope, not leaving the area. I do have great blogger buds. And you are welcome, it's my pleasure to support your wife on her walk.<BR/><BR/>diane, thank you, and i do know this, god knows we've been through it enough times.<BR/><BR/>hearts, that made me laugh, waiting for the kids to come home. Be careful what you wish for, you may get it. :)<BR/><BR/>lu, thank you. <3<BR/><BR/>clowncar, i'm a sucker for a science simile too. They are so perfect for describing so many things.menohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18065283682414369608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-25880659549656043332008-05-28T13:30:00.000-07:002008-05-28T13:30:00.000-07:00I like the idea of marriage as a sine wave. But I...I like the idea of marriage as a sine wave. But I'll fall for those science similes every time. <BR/><BR/>The crazy mail lady letter from your last post made me smile. Our newspaper delivery guy is like that. Actually he's only like that to my wife, who he's clearly in love with. Me he merely tolerates.Clowncarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02219213001049223673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-79520721591415832042008-05-28T12:27:00.000-07:002008-05-28T12:27:00.000-07:00I love you meno.I love you meno.luhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14486545199810361580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-77715433662044761722008-05-28T09:32:00.000-07:002008-05-28T09:32:00.000-07:00You have quite a lot on your plate right now. Per...You have quite a lot on your plate right now. Perhaps it's time to redefine yourself and think about what sets YOU on fire, and do it.<BR/><BR/>It seems to me that big decisions like jobs and moving should be made by both of you together, taking into consideration that the marriage entity is more important than either of your individual wills.<BR/><BR/>My children have all been gone for a long time but a part of me is still waiting for them to forget this being-an-adult thing and come home to Mom again.<BR/><BR/>Good luck working everything out. You are smart and kind. You'll know what to do.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-57151881197686600482008-05-28T03:50:00.000-07:002008-05-28T03:50:00.000-07:00You know that even the best marriages go through u...You know that even the best marriages go through ups and down. With all the stress you've described, it's now wonder it's a down time. <BR/><BR/>I'm rooting for you.Diane Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00059365308496711788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-40865713465044537302008-05-27T23:49:00.000-07:002008-05-27T23:49:00.000-07:00Hmmm, like leaving the Puget Sound region leaving?...Hmmm, like leaving the Puget Sound region leaving? That would be sucky to see you go. Family is so important. I've read many of the supportive comments and based on your response, you've got some great blogger buds. <BR/><BR/>P.S. thank you so much for donating to my wife's charity. That was very generous of you.eganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03783658744477659987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-66249653243642286582008-05-27T16:44:00.000-07:002008-05-27T16:44:00.000-07:00There comes a time when it is important to realize...There comes a time when it is important to realize that one has enough money to be comfortable and it is time to start thinking about what you could do with the extra time if the work were to slack off. It is a hard shift to make after years of looking at it the other way, but I think it is important. You did it, now to work on him to recognize the same thing. Maybe it is time for the two of you to start talking about a specific retirement target? I know he has interests outside work so isn't one who would be bored.<BR/><BR/>And if the move isn't related to the job change, in other words doesn't have to happen right now, why not postpone it a little while? Maybe get Em involved with the two of you on that project so that she does feel it is still her place, too?Dickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12381970360203140143noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-44919785204448987882008-05-27T11:26:00.000-07:002008-05-27T11:26:00.000-07:00meno dear, I don't know what to offer you. I can ...meno dear, I don't know what to offer you. I can barely keep my own relationships working so I don't think I'm the one anyone should be turning to for help or even a kind word. Just know that you are an extraordinary woman who has impressed many of us out here much more than once with your smarts, your love, and your ability to make things work.<BR/><BR/>I have nothing but the utmost faith in you.<BR/><BR/>*much loves*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-44315451606410804522008-05-27T08:36:00.000-07:002008-05-27T08:36:00.000-07:00Downsize. Downsize! That is the first word that co...Downsize. Downsize! That is the first word that comes to mind as I read this.thailandchanihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10171731740204067889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-1377867648551434672008-05-27T05:18:00.000-07:002008-05-27T05:18:00.000-07:00But what do you wanna do Meno?I mean all this goin...But what do you wanna do Meno?<BR/><BR/>I mean all this going on, what would you like, what feels good for you mate?<BR/><BR/>Hugs from Australia too, koala hugs and kangaroo hugs, just the best kind. :)<BR/><BR/>PamSiennahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15387267690900119245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-32280186835919246152008-05-27T04:32:00.000-07:002008-05-27T04:32:00.000-07:00Ugh. Let that wind blow, see where it takes you. Y...Ugh. Let that wind blow, see where it takes you. Your daughter sounds like she needs your energies anyway right now.Say Ithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09641932389807026317noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-72943827804066519852008-05-26T19:42:00.000-07:002008-05-26T19:42:00.000-07:00isn't it funny ~not funny haha, more funny ironic~...isn't it funny ~not funny haha, more funny ironic~ that when old(er) people tell us that marriage is alot of work, we just don't believe them..but we LOVE each other, how in the world can that be anything but fun and good times?<BR/><BR/>reckon maybe he's used to you pulling him back to reality, so he knows he doesn't really need to make the effort? looks like alot of times the not-strong partner doesn't really know how to support the strong partner when they're not feeling so strong...<BR/><BR/>if y'all move, will it be in the same vicinity you're in now, or will you move AWAY away?<BR/><BR/>p.s. I'm sending you hugs ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-63400514090064461302008-05-26T19:31:00.000-07:002008-05-26T19:31:00.000-07:00I hope things work out soon and for your highest a...I hope things work out soon and for your highest and best good. Sometimes we just need someone else to fight a for the relationship, almost as a way of saying we are worth it to them. Good luck.Vanessahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14149777435132497067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-53045679691582646962008-05-26T08:26:00.000-07:002008-05-26T08:26:00.000-07:00Aren't you glad you have a blog where you can vent...Aren't you glad you have a blog where you can vent this stuff?<BR/><BR/>I hope things even out soon. <BR/>xopeevishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14135920853307511091noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-29815297328289015712008-05-25T18:44:00.000-07:002008-05-25T18:44:00.000-07:00Ya know, sometimes there are just too many things ...Ya know, sometimes there are just too many things changing at one time.<BR/>Just remember to breathe sister....just breathe...tthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14157492410943794052noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-89104067958119826562008-05-25T16:42:00.000-07:002008-05-25T16:42:00.000-07:00Marriage is a hard series of compromises and build...Marriage is a hard series of compromises and building briges. I think as long as there is some level of give and take, there is hope. <BR/><BR/>Divorce is a hard series of all alone with no compromise and a brige a-fire.luhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14486545199810361580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-51035781159022678672008-05-25T14:03:00.000-07:002008-05-25T14:03:00.000-07:00Oh yeah. I know. I have been there...hmmm. it seem...Oh yeah. I know. I have been there...hmmm. it seems every two weeks or so.crazymummahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04663148723513574331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-72973752830910267062008-05-24T22:58:00.000-07:002008-05-24T22:58:00.000-07:00I know, I know. *hugs* from a little sister.I know, I know. *hugs* from a little sister.Nancy Dancehallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14169976337329559458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-71452530052475289102008-05-24T20:55:00.000-07:002008-05-24T20:55:00.000-07:00Well Meno if you make your way to Québec city, I w...Well Meno if you make your way to Québec city, I want to be on the fun.<BR/><BR/>I can totally relate as it's always been like that in my relationship with my husband. Sometimes it gets to the point where I am so tired of keeping the ship afloat, I could scream. Is it like that in all partnerships? Are we demonstrating maturity or sheer bullheadedness in behaving this way? Man oh man...carohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12199592207890486295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-59636895984534266122008-05-24T18:25:00.000-07:002008-05-24T18:25:00.000-07:00I send you HUGE hugs! After the last of my 5 left ...I send you HUGE hugs! After the last of my 5 left I was a lost soul... had to realy stop and ask myself "what's my job now?" Of course I had my day job but at night... I had to come to grips with ME.. god those were scarey times. But remember the you before all the husband and children times. Embrace her! I'm pretty sure some of these feelings on your marriage are mixed into this batch of life changes....hold on tight to your feelings and SHARE them with him. Guys like to know what's expected of them~ spelled out. That's all the advice I have but know we are thinking of ya sweetie.. oh and.. will the move be local?? Or a little to the south?? heheh I hear Oregon is nice this time of year! :o)Cheesyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02099545260198846488noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-296466803918494452008-05-24T10:58:00.000-07:002008-05-24T10:58:00.000-07:00I can relate somewhat, as Mr.4444 lost his job yes...I can relate somewhat, as Mr.4444 lost his job yesterday. (We're not freaking out, though, because he's already being pursued by a few companies.) I'm pretty sure a new job would allow us to stay here (he normally works out of our home), but you never know...<BR/><BR/>If you don't want to rant, why not write a few sweet notes to leave in random places for your hubby to find...something like, "Thank you for ???" or just validating what you love about him. Keep them positive and short. but "I miss us. Wanna do lunch?" would be okay, too.<BR/><BR/>The empty nest thing cannot be underestimated. I know I will be a mess when my time comes....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-89960676729931363472008-05-24T08:14:00.000-07:002008-05-24T08:14:00.000-07:00Life changes, always. My children are grown, pret...Life changes, always. My children are grown, pretty much, only one left but she's an adult now, at only 17, something she finds as strange as I do. <BR/><BR/>I look at my marriage, my life, my role and I don't know who I am or what I want to do. For so many years I've been a mother and then a wife, and now, now what? <BR/><BR/>It's scary but I think it's what happens to us in middle age, there is a seismic shift going on in my life and I feel like I'm just hanging on, unsure of where it's all going to end up. <BR/> <BR/>I'm not good with change and middle age, that time in my life when I had finally gotten good at organizing and dealing with all the responsibilities of being a mother and wife, middle age I find is not about sameness, but all about change. A second puberty, if you will. Fuck!<BR/><BR/>I know you feel and yes, I am verbose this morning, comes from not having written much for the past two weeks:)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-28349863863697905762008-05-24T07:27:00.000-07:002008-05-24T07:27:00.000-07:00Actually, a new start might just be a good thing r...Actually, a new start might just be a good thing right now. With your child going off, it might just give you some extra focus and keep you busy enough to adjust to that.....and maybe a fresh start for the 2 of you...Whatever happens, at least we know you will tell a good story about it!!!100 Thoughts of Lovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04200599373915306830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30306964.post-57843487655606560852008-05-24T04:09:00.000-07:002008-05-24T04:09:00.000-07:00you know, you're a good woman. (that statement sta...you know, you're a good woman. <BR/><BR/>(that statement stands on its own)<BR/><BR/>and look at all these watershed moments that are looking at you like bullet points in a dumbass corporate memo-- it would be right to feel all the things you're feeling.<BR/><BR/>what am i saying? well, i guess that you've listened to me cry over someone, and that i happily offer up my shoulder or whatever body part sounds good to you, big sis.<BR/><BR/>xoxoLivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09154719979114564561noreply@blogger.com