What a waste of a day.

Oh My God, you guys, it was awful. Em and The Mister and i all came home feeling creeped-out and pissed-off. Not such a great way to end the day.

Today was the day i have been in denial about for a month or so. It was the day that we, we being my entire family, got together to do the "Family Video" that i have been dreading. It was something that my middle brother, Tim, bought at some auction or other and thought would be a cool thing to do for my parents. Something that we would all be interviewed for and would come up with happy beautiful memories of my parents to preserve forever on video.

Something we could all have a copy of and watch when we felt like it. (Which would be fucking NEVER for me, thank you very much!)

So we all gathered, dutifully, because one thing we all are is dutiful. We were told to be there at 10:30. As i suspected, there was no planning and no one had organized the event. So we waited around, all 14 of us crammed into my parent's apartment pretty much the whole damned day. I finally got "interviewed" at 3:30 pm. A whole beautiful Saturday, wasted!

Oh the pressure to some up with some happy memories, the pressure to preserve the illusion that nothing was ever wrong growing up, that we all love my mom and dad.

Yuck!

There was lots of sarcasm. You are shocked, i know. I kept saying, to anyone who would listen (who wasn't my brother or my mom or dad,) "I just can't tell you how much i've been looking forward to this. No, really, i can't!"

And the end result? Who knows, i mumbled some crappy answers when it was my turn. I mean, really, three words that describe my mother? (I said prolix, stubborn and outdoorsy. How lame is that?)

The end result is that i love my family. All of them but one. One of the two about which this video cluster fuck was about. My mother. Yeah.

That was what we all danced around. We danced around the fact that we all love each other, but we don't love one of the seeds of this family.

Later, after thinking about it for a long time, i decided not to give her that much power. The power to ruin a family that is pretty damned cool, a family of survivors of her.

So what i say? Out loud? I love 13/14ths of my family!

But i didn't say that on video.

One cool thing i got out of the day is this picture of my brother and me at ages 15 and 13, respectively. Same hair, same glasses, same clothes, same body shape. I think we are so cute!

Umm, Thanks?

I should have been suspicious when my mother asked me for our new address. I suppose i was hopeful that she might be sending me a check!

I forgot all about it until last week an unexpected package arrived from who-the-hell-is-Meg-McMathers?

I had no clue until i opened the package and a funny old freshwater pearl necklace and a note popped out.

Turns out Meg McMathers is the name of an old friend of my mother's who has been married twice more since i last knew her, 40 years ago, hence my not recognizing her name.

Despite the fact that i was puzzled as to why the hell she would think i would want this necklace and why the hell she would send it to me, i sent her a nice thank you note, because without regard to what you may think, i was not born in a barn.

It must be that since i have forbidden my mother to give me HER old stuff, she's having other people send me theirs!

Peeved by ignorant sound bites

I swear to god, what is it with people and their stupid bumper stickers?

Yesterday's entry into the Hall of Shame and Dumbassery:

AMERICAN AND PATRIOTIC WILL NEVER VOTE DEMOCRATIC!

Great, so being patriotic and an American means that no thinking is ever required for voting? And if i ever vote for a Democrat i am not an American or patriotic? Awesome, just awesome.

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To those of you who have contacted me to ask if all is well in my world, Thank you. I truly appreciate your caring. All is well actually. The Mister and i went off to Hawai'i for two weeks and had a wonderful time and avoided the tsunami.

It's whale season there right now, and we could hear them singing when we were swimming. It was magical.

I am pretty content right now. I am just busy enough and have been getting the regular exercise that i require for my mental health.

Em is coming home this Friday for the second half of her spring break. She's off in NY city right now staying with a friend and his parents. I love it when she stays with other families and sees their dynamics. She sent me this text message yesterday:

"Watching Mark and his mother interact is one of my least favorite activities. Yikes. I am so grateful for you right now."

That warms a mother's heart right through i tell you!

Up next! A story about my mom, because it's such low-hanging fruit.