Saturday, July 18, 2009

An effective method for surviving teenagehood (hers, not mine)

It was observed by a clever friend (also the parent of teenagers) that teenagers often add a silent "dumbass" to the end of their sentences. The "dumbass" is communicated by tone rather than the actual word, as they can deny tone.

Examples: (use your inner snotty teenager tone for the second sentence in each example.)

"Have you seen the cat?"
"No? Why would i? dumbass!"

"Do you have work today?"
"I already told you my schedule, dumbass!"

"I like that new song by Linkin Park. Can you tell me the name of it?"
"They have lots of new songs, dumbass!"

The Mister and i have taken to voicing the silent dumbass after many of Em's sentences. It makes us laugh, and occasionally makes her laugh too. But mostly it pisses her off.

I count that as a double win!

Do try this at home. It's lots of fun!

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you!!! I have two 18yr olds
girl/boy.. instead of feeling that hot burn and wanting to punch them in the troat I am going to use you suggestion. Perfect.

Anonymous said...

ughh. throat.

Maggie said...

I will gladly use my teenager for daily testing of this. I'm sure he won't mind. Ha.

Daisy said...

furiously scribbling notes to refer to in a few years....

Stucco said...

It's pronounced "Dew-moss"

de said...

Yes, we pronounce it dumas as well.

That's a tip my mother actually gave me at some point before she retired, for use when bosses are speaking. Works equally well in either sitch.

deb said...

I'll have to give it a try.

Marshamlow said...

What a great idea! I am glad to know it is not just my teenager who has this tone.

flutter said...

I mentally call people dumbass all the time...does that make me a teenager? l:p

Mrs4444 said...

OMG-That's hilarious! Fortunately, I haven't had to use this yet, but I will keep it in my back pocket, just in case!

Cheesy said...

Crap I will have to borrow a teen for this experiment. Or wait a couple years for the grandwees to hit the right age!

Mrs. Chili said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Punkin' is 12, and this TOTALLY applies to her.

Mr. Chili and I have deduced, as well, that "yeah, whatever" is really teenager for "fuck you."

Scott from Oregon said...

I used to inaudibly say "fuckwit" at the end of every answer I was forced to give to an adult.

meno said...

anon, enjoy! It will, if nothing else, make you laugh.

maggie, go ahead. Mine doesn't mind. Really.

daisy, write a book about it.

stucco, looks like you and de are from the same place.

de, ooooh. I never tried that at work. I like it.

deb, i doubt if your kids will think it's funny, but you will.

marsha, oh no, they all have that tone perfected.

flutter, yes it does!

mrs. 4444, you can use it one other people's teenagers too.

cheesy, save it for the babies.

mrs. chili, we used to get "Whatever" all the time. We decided it meant "fuck off", so same thing. :)

scott, i used dickhead. It all helps a teenager interact with impossibly stupid adults.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

But sometimes "dumbass" just doesn't begin to get it. Am available for upgrades, if needed.

TaraDharma said...

oh, the disdain they have for us....it began with withering embarrassment at everything we do and say. Now they've graduated to 'dumbass.' I believe that developmentally it helps us all ease into now being under the same roof in a few years (hopefully!)

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

I am going to start doing this with my husband. I am sure he will appreciate it.

colleen said...

Teenagers usually don't know how transparent they are to adults. I'll definately be thinking of this later and be listening for other silent ends to people's sentences.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Can I borrow Em for a week? :)

meno said...

hearts, hey, this is a family blog. Oh wait, no it isn't. Bring it!

tara, i hope that you are right about the easing. We'll see.

cagey, ha ha! Let me know how that turns out.

colleen, poor things, they forget that we all had impossibly stupid parents too.

mother hen, why? You want to slap her or learn from her? In either case, she's on her way.

We'll make great pets said...

*nods in agreement*

Dianne said...

this is so perfect!

I'm going to go practice it right now, while rolling my eyes and flipping my hair

soon as I finish stomping up the stairs and slam the door

Magpie said...

my five year old said "duh" to me a couple of times last night...

Vanessa said...

My mother once asked me if I liked Rage Against the Presidents (rage against the Machine) or the Limping Biscuits (Limp Biscuit). I nearly died laughing.

Eve said...

OK, this made me snort my tea!

Hilarious!!!

TTQ said...

Whatever. dumbass