Tuesday, June 05, 2007

My cup runneth over

Sometimes in our house laundry gets mixed up. Em has done her own laundry since she was twelve, but she still sneaks downstairs and pulls my stuff from the dryer when she has, say, run out of clean socks.

I am not the swiftest person first thing in the morning. I wake up slowly over about an hour. This morning, i had to get out right away, so i was still asleep as i was dressing.

I grabbed my bra from the drawer and strapped it on. I looked down and noticed that my heaving bosom had grown considerably since yesterday. "It's a miracle," i thought, and i fell to my knees and praised jesus.

Then my brain kicked in. I was wearing Em's bra, which is close enough in size to mine that i can wear it, but there is stuff oozing out the sides. So i got up off my knees.

I love starting the day with a huge laugh.

34 comments:

Toni said...

That is hilarious! Luke(5) thinks it's funny when he puts my bra on his head and walks around the house. He likes to make the comparison that his head is as big as my boob.

We will probably be discussing this in therapy in 15 years.

thailandchani said...

ROTFLMBO!!!

Oh, ghod, that's funny!

Cagey said...

LOVE IT.

Also, it sounds Em is going to be prepared quite nicely for college with the whole killer Dryer Dump move that she is perfecting. Awesome!

jen said...

the fact that you can get a teenage bra to fit around your waist alone, is remarkable.

you tall lithe thing, you.

flutter said...

oh that is so beautiful

meno said...

toni, start saving money now for that therapy!

chani, it was a great laugh. Woke me right up.

cagey, that's how i made it through college. :)

jen, despite the height difference, we are similar in circumference.

flutter, i know! :)

Lynn said...

That was a funny story...Twelve often 'borrows' things (shirts and jackets)from my closet and sock drawer...Unfortunately, nothing of hers seems to fit me. Haven't figured out yet how that actually works.

d-man said...

Brahahaaaa!
:D

mrschili said...

Oh, THAT'S funny (especially the 'falling to the knees to praise Jesus' part). I'm just waiting for the clothes stealing to begin at my house. It won't be long...

Sober Briquette said...

I forget, have you mentioned Em's height? Now I'm curious.

My sister-in-law is one of those people whose bra size I could not even begin to imagine. One of my fears is that Fiona will take after her side of the family and I won't have a clue how to help her find the right garment, as my criteria ranges between comfort and pretty. I guess that's why there are specialty shops downtown with little old ladies who feel you up.

AC said...

That is a funny picture.

Lucia said...

Haaaaaa! Yep, starting the day with a big laugh is a good thing.

Joan said...

It's early in the morning and my brain is trying to wrap itself around that image! Thanks for the chance to smile this morning. :~)

holly said...

that's great! jessica is always stealing my clothes, and once in awhile I borrow hers, but thankfully it's never happened in a hurry when I couldn't correct it, of course her style is such that I should be grateful to be stuck in her clothes.

Em said...

Wearing her bra might be way cheaper than one of those expensive bras designed to give you that "up" feeling. LOL

ms chica said...

That would have never happened in my house. The only way for me to have worn my sister's gear would have been to don it as a swimming cap with a pair of sophisticated chin straps.....and if she had been left with mine, I suppose she might have been able to use it a sleeping mask, if she didn't a little light peeking in.

What a great way to wake up!

QT said...

Now THAT is funny!

Dryer dump, indeed. That is so naughty -

Ortizzle said...

Praise Jesus, indeed!

So you two must also have exactly the same taste in bra styles!

gr said...

watch out for the little t-shirts teens wear these days....

TTQ said...

Honey once grabbed my black jeans in a hurry and got all freaked out when he couldn't get them past his knees..He's 6'5 and I'm 5'4... he also used to be a ballplayer and has huge thighs (all muscle).. it was hysterical!

sari said...

As the only female in our house, I don't have this problem. But my eight year old is getting almost to the point where we can wear the same tshirts, and since that's pretty much my uniform anyway, I'm happy.

:-) (see, there's something good about not having much cleavage!)

meno said...

lynn, i HATE it when Em borrows my stuff. I never get it back. To her credit, she rarely does borrow anything.

d-man, very clever.

mes.chili, no, it won't be long. Maybe a lock for the closet door?

de, she's 5'5". I had to take Em to Nordstom's to get her a bra that fit, as she sprouted D cup boobs in the space of about 3 months.

ac, i had a good laugh. :)

lucia, it was amusing because i was genuinely puzzled for a few moments.

joan, happy to provide you with entertainment.

holly, we can only trade shirts, not even close on the pants.

Em, i never though of that! A cheaper version of the Wonder Bra.

ms.chica, i had no sisters and my mother is a BIG woman, so that never happened in my house of origin either.

qt, i get so mad at her when she does that, but it never stops her.

ortizzle, there aren't that many that come in her size, so they are pretty plain, as are mine.

gary, i won't make THAT mistake, don't worry.

ttq, oh for a video of that moment!

sari, i wouldn't want huge boobs, that's for sure. I hear they interfere with your golf swing. :)

platypus said...

Stumpy is always abandoning her bras in my clean laundry pile but fortunately ours look so different that I never try and put one on. That would be too upsetting!

liv said...

love it! this reminds me of when I was in middle school gym class and noticed a "puff" in the middle of my long sleeve t-shirt---turns out I was carrying a stow away of my mom's: blue, eyelet bikini undies. Oh, the mortification!

Esereth said...

man, I like you, meno

You are a good bloggist. You get the medium of blog. Short, something that grabs, something personal and entertaining...you just get it. I love your blog.

Scott from Oregon said...

I put on my own stuff, these days, and curse Jesus...

Maya's Granny said...

One thing about living alone is that I always put on my own clothes. When I put them on. There was the day I went to tie my shoes and discovered I was still barefoot.

Schmoopie said...

Heh. We had a funny moment a while ago when A. (10 years) was watching me get dressed and very loudly said, "Ohh, Mom!" "Am I gonna have boobs as big as yours?" I said, "Maybe." She pointedly frowned and said, "God, I hope not!" And stomped off. Stucco is glad she doesn't want big boobs yet, as he has more time to purchase and polish his gun. :)

meno said...

platypus, she's probably hoping that you'll do her laundry for her.

liv, those clothing lumps can be quite embarassing. How awful, mom's undies!

esereth, stop it, you're making me blush. I mean, thank you, i appreciate the compliment.

maya's granny, i hope you had a good laugh about it too.

scott, i have those dark days too.

schmoopie, i know where she's coming from as my mom had HUGE boobs. Now she only has a half of one left, so it's (literally) no big deal anymore. When Em grew her boobs it was quite the shock to her dad, me too i guess.

capacious said...

You got a laugh out of me, and I really need it. Thanks.

Mama P said...

At least you didn't walk in and find the hubby wearing it.

Stucco said...

[singing]
Do your boobs hang low
Do they wobble to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you throw them over your shoulder
like a continental soldier
Do your boobs hang low.
[/singing]

meno said...

capacious, always happy to share a laugh!

mamp, oh no, he and i are NOT the same size. It would never work. :)

stucco, you shut up, you man you!

Mother of Invention said...

You have stuff hangin' out the sides? I'm still workin' on filling up the front of a 36A!!