Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Assvice

What is it about me people that makes me them so love to give advice but so stubborn about taking it?

Although, having thought about it a bit further, i only hate taking advice from some people, who just happen to be the people who love to give advice.

I found myself in a situation where i was rejecting, without thinking first, everything she was telling me.

Why?

That's a complicated question.

Because i'm stubborn and i want to be the one with the answers? A little bit.
Because she always gives advice, even when i'm not asking for it and i resent that, i have managed to take care of myself for several decades thank-you-very-much? Yes, that's part of it too.

Because she sounds pompous and bossy and reminds me of my not-best-me? Ouch! Yes.
Am i prepared for the smugness that will ensue if i do take her advice? Or should i continue to reject everything without consideration? Maybe. And no.


So what did i do?

I sat back and decided that she might actually have something to say that i could use. So i asked for it. Advice.

And then i listened.

I might even follow it too.

And i might not.

16 comments:

Daisy said...

Oh, split the difference and just ignore the problem completely. Or default to the Magic 8 Ball.

Brad said...

Daisy got the right idea. I always practise benign neglect, if I ignore it long enough it will fix itself or just go away.

Scott from Oregon said...

If people offer me advice, I tell them to stop and write it all down so I don't forget it.

That way, only advice that is deemed important enough to be written down gets passed along...

It cuts out the lectures...

Dick said...

I guess it doesn't hurt to get second opinions. Sometimes they actually can help and be a better idea than your own. Just decide for yourself after the advise has been given which track you want to follow.

SUEB0B said...

I want to hear how it turns out.

patches said...

I think I had a phone conversation with the same person this morning... My mistake. Answering the phone.

meno said...

daisy, it's less about the problem, which is a small one, than about the willingness or unwillingness to take advice. Of course, the Magic 8 ball always works.

brad, i am an expert at putting it off until it goes away.

scott, that's fucking brilliant. I am so using that.

dick, sometimes it's good and sometime you just don't want to hear it.

suebob, i can predict that i will probably not listen, for no good reason, other than i am stubborn like that.

patches, caller ID. use the power to not answer the phone.

sari said...

I love the might, or might not.

That's always the saving grace, isn't it?

tt said...

decisions,decisions.....that's too many options for me...too crowded in the graperooms for all that shit.
ugh!

The Real Mother Hen said...

Oh you are toast the moment you ask for her advice. Now you'll be more toast regardless you follow it or not. If you follow, she is going to say you haven't done enough. If you don't follow, she is going to be upset that "you don't listen".

Willingness to be advised is the easy part, what comes next is the sensitive and difficult part.

Good luck!

Irrelephant said...

That being the strong suit about advice--you're perfectly free to ignore it. *g*

Dianne said...

I try to use what I can, ignore what I can't and assume the person meant well

then there are those days when I whack people ...

deb said...

Wow, that's amazing. I have a hard time with that too. I'm contrary and I would cut off my nose just to spite my face. I'm not the brightest bulb in the box obviously.

meno said...

sari, my stubborness leans towards the might not.

tt, i know! I wasn't even asking for advice!

mother hen, wait until i tell herthat it didn't work, even though i didn't even try. Ha!

irrelephant, i head the other way when given advice. So silly and stubborn.

dianne, i shoulda wacked her!

deb, you and me both babe, you and me both.

Mrs4444 said...

DANG, Meno! For a minute there, I started thinking, "OMG! Did I give her some advice in a comment or something?! Is she talking about ME?" PHEW!

luckyzmom said...

I meant well.