Wednesday, June 03, 2009

A shocking revelation

The Mister and i recently made a decision that could have a huge impact on our marriage. Something with implications that have left me uneasy and unable to sleep well for the past two nights.

It was initiated by The Mister saying he was unhappy and in pain given our current situation.

So i said okay, i'd give it a try if that's what will make him happy.
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We traded sides of the bed.

Sounds silly right? It is silly, but we have been sleeping on the same side of the bed for nigh on to 15 years and it feels so weird to be on the "wrong" side.

We both had trouble sleeping the first night. I am so used to reaching out and flipping on my little bedside radio to my right, that to find it on my left is disorienting.

The Mister has a rotator cuff injury on his right shoulder, and he wanted this change so that he could be facing me in bed without pain. Seemed like a reasonable request, so....on Monday, along with changing the sheets, i switched the drawers of our nightstands. My trashy novels, his porn mags, my radio, his kleenex, my crossword puzzle books, his history novels, my various charging devices, his various charging devices. Man, we have a lot of crap.

This feels like a big change. I find myself amused by my rigidity.

30 comments:

flutter said...

you're trying to give me an aneurysm on purpose, I know you are.

fiwa said...

Yeah - we've done that before and it does feel WEIRD. It took about a week to settle in. It's like trying to brush your teeth with your left hand if you're a righty. But look at it this way - it's probably one of those things that makes new pathways in your brain, so it's good fer ya.

And woman, please. Like you could get rid of me. I'll just keep stalking you here.

nick said...

I know what you mean, Jenny and I have slept on the same sides of the bed for decades. If we ever wanted to change over it would be totally disorientating. In fact I'd probably need a therapist on hand to help me through the psychological trauma.

Maggie said...

man, you're living on the edge. I couldn't do that. No way.

Are the cats confused?

Mrs. Chili said...

Not only do Mr. Chili and I sleep on OUR sides of the bed, but we also prefer to sleep north-south (with our heads to the north). So ingrained are we that when we go to a hotel or something, we find that we shift during the night so that we wake up in a north-south orientation, regardless of how the bed is set. It's very, very weird.

Daisy said...

"Ah....." said the Divorced Woman, stretching out in her bed, her all-herself, sleep-on-any-side bed.... "I have no idea what you're talking about."

furiousBall said...

i separated my shoulder a few years ago and tore my rotator cuff, and sleeping was the worst. hope your husband is doing ok.

de said...

We are like the Chilis. Our current bedroom is a logistical nightmare, but even so, we have our bed situated in the same direction as we had at the other house.

meno said...

flutter, you are just trying to impress me that you can spell aneurysm. I'm impressed!

fiwa, that's the way i am trying to look at it. I'm glad you will still be around. I look forward to you writing again....someday.

nick, i used to try and mix it up, variety being the spice of life and all. But then i gave up and we got staid.

maggie, we only have one cat now. And he's always confused.

mrs. chili, wow. That is weird. You must have an internal compass.

daisy, oh shut up!

furious, i think his is a low level chronic thing. Of course he won't go to the doctor, so who knows?

de, and i thought i was rigid!

Magpie said...

It is weird how set in your ways you get. We moved into an apartment once, and spent months confused, until we realized that we had the bed on the wrong wall and our feet pointing in the wrong direction. We moved the furniture and all was well.

caro said...

I can totally relate. And don't find you to be rigid at all. I think we'd be surprised at how many go through the same thing. For us insomniacs any little damn thing is a big thing when it comes to sleeping...

Vanessa said...

No no no! Sides of the bed are important! I once had a boyfriend that we traded sides of the bed every single night. Really, it's important.

Relatively Annoyed said...

Whoa....shoulder pain is a beast. Appropriate sympathy offered.

We have designated sides of the bed at home, but in hotels or guest rooms it doesn't seem to matter as no one will be sleeping worth a damn anyway.

Anonymous said...

Dear The Wrong Side:

Ever consider changing the sleeping position to 69 - this way, both of you can still reach out to the same one nightstand without changing the side.

I can testify that 69 position improves my marriage significantly. I want to sleep on the right side, husband wants to sleep on the right side, we fought endlessly for the past 10 years. Now, he stays put, I go to the other end, both have the right side, it's perfect :)

Your Experienced Friend

Dianne said...

I knew it wasn't earth shattering - if it had been your opening would have been far more sarcastic

I sleep alone and still have to be on the side I am used to from back in the good old married days

meno said...

magpie, looks like lots of you out there have body compasses. that amazes me.

caro, that's why i need my little radio. Something to listen to while i'm not sleeping but trying to remain still.

vanessa, every night? I wouldn't want to trade drooled on pillows every night. Ick!

one with annoying relatives, that's what sleeping pills are for, hotels.

anon, ha ha hah a! I prefer 68 myself---You do me, i'll owe you one.

dianne, if i was serious, this would have been a divorce post. Sleeping alone is an option, there's always the guest room.

deb said...

You are a good woman because I don't think I would do that.

Gina said...

Yeah - I would have a hard time switching sides, too. Of course, when I am alone, I sleep on all the sides.

colleen said...

For 21 years I've feared that my husband would want to switch bed sides. His is against the wall and I know it would make me feel claustrophobic. I have the better deal and bedside table and don't want to give it up.

I love the way you set this little story up.

sari said...

My husband has always picked "his" side of the bed since we've been married - and lately he has started saying things like "hey, this side of the best isn't so bad!" whilst sitting on my side.

I just give him the hairy eyeball and tell him to get off of my side! ha ha

(though, to be fair, if he wanted to switch due to injury, I guess I would be accommodating. He just has no reason!)

Nancy Dancehall said...

Oh, you got me; I thought this was going to tie into Maggie's current post! *snicker*

meno said...

deb, not even if he had an injury? I bet you would.

gina, alone, sweet blissful alone. I remember it well.

colleen, oh god, i couldn't sleep up against the wall. I would feel trapped. And thank you, i had fun setting it up.

sari, i let my husband pick his side too, as i don't really care, unless it's up against a wall that is.

nancy, i really got you babe!

Cheesy said...

Funny... I STILL sleep on my side of the bed after all these years. Well unless the cats crowd me out of my spot.

egan said...

The lead in for this post is just awesome. I focussed a little closer after the first paragraph and then chuckled. My wife and I are the same with the bed. I get the right side.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Hold on a second, what's 68 position? How to be an "8"? 8->

luckyzmom said...

I suggested we trade sides just for fun once and you should have seen the look I got; a steely blue penetrating look of dread. No sense of adventure. I occassionally enjoy sleeping in the middle of our kingsize bed until he nudges me over to my side.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

So how's it working out for you by now? I do like the idea of The Mister facing you in bed without pain.

Flip makes occasional comments about changing sides, but since he hasn't had a rotator cuff injury (and I have,) he'll have to wait until I die.

Mrs4444 said...

I suggested this once (you know; to spice things up, heehee), but Mr.4444 put the "ix-nay on the switch-hay." Oh well...hope you're adjusting...

Kim said...

"my trashy novels, his porn mags...."

With that type of arsenal I figured that you two would (for the most part) be on the SAME side of the bed.

Soo....tell me...HOW did he get that rotator cuff injury?

Tink said...

I like sleeping on the left side of the bed (if you're facing it). But when I met Hoop, he also liked sleeping on the left side of the bed. So I graciously gave it up. I've regretted that decision for the last three years! Lol.