Friday, June 18, 2010

Steam of conciousness starting with a hickey

Em's boyfriend just left this morning after being here for a week.  I am pretty sure they had a good time.

One of the days he was here i met them at a mall.  I noticed a....something...on Em's neck and as i instinctively bent over to look at it i realized that it was a hickey at the same time that i heard Morris (the boyfriend) giggle and say "Oops!"

I ignored it after that, i mean, i don't care. It's a rite of passage that they will get over.  I'd give The Mister a dope slap if he gave me a hickey now.

But....ah...a hickey...the memories.

My first and only one was when i was 20 and i was living at home for the summer with my parents so that my boyfriend Dan and i did not have the freedom that we were used to when i was living at the dorms.

One late night as he was dropping me off at my parent's house he got a little carried away and left a hickey on my neck.

My neighbor noticed it the next day and said, "Hey!  What's that on your neck?"  His wife stopped him and said, "Jack, you are showing your age."

Carol Davidson.  Oh Carol. I remember you.  She was a woman who, for a few of my teenage years, i could talk with about things i would never talk to my own mother about.  Carol never had kids and i think she enjoyed our quasi-mother-daughter relationship as much as i did.  I would wander over to her house and enjoy the calm and conflict free atmosphere, just chatting with an adult woman who was not constantly judging me.

What a welcome haven for me. Thank you for that Carol.

Reminds me to be open to opportunities to provide that haven for someone else.

11 comments:

Bob said...

I don't remember my girlfriends being that effusive - or careless, for that matter. I think my wife gave me my first (and only?) hickey.

I think you've paid Carol back by being that special person for Em.

flutter said...

you really are a good mom, you know?

nick said...

We Brits call them love bites, not hickeys. I never really saw the point of them, to be honest. Surely kissing is sexier and less injurious?

You were lucky having that special confidante as a teenager, I never had anyone like that. There were certainly plenty of things I couldn't tell my mother (and never have).

De said...

What a funny story/great memory! At the risk of dating myself, I'll wonder aloud what's the appeal? I can remember giving and receiving many hickeys, and I can't think why. I mean, we were having sex, so it wasn't a substitute.

Make Hickeys Not Poison Ivy said...

I remember my sister showing up with an impressive one before we had to leave for some large family gathering. She made up in elaborate story about a curling iron accident, and covered the bruise with gauze and first aid tape. (insert eye roll) It was very convincing.

I have a friend much like this Carol you described. She raised three girls, but served as a go to parent for dozens of other kids stumbling through life. A truly exceptional person.

meno said...

bob, i don't really see the attraction of them, other than as advertising. "Look, someone likes me."

flutter, thank you my dear. In truth, Em makes it pretty easy for me to be a good mom.

nick, i was lucky to have Carol. I just wish she had been around more.

de, i don't see the appeal either. I think it's just something that we feel we are expected to do. Like marking our territory.

poison ivy, your sister is very creative! Some people are really good at gathering strays who need them. I'm happy that you had a woman like that.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I wish I'd had a Carol in my life. I don't think I've ever had a hickey, either, except for several I gave my own arm when I was about 8, no idea why.

It sounds as if Morris was staking a claim on Em. She is so lucky to have you for her mom!

Gina said...

I wish I had someone like Carol as a teen - my mom was totally irrational about everything.

TaraDharma said...

Yeah, I think it's about staking a claim on someone: marking your territory. I remember my older sister's chest being covered with them and I felt like throwing up.

My wife gave me one years ago that I had to cover up. Soooo embarrassing to be middle aged and have a love-bite!

wooliesocks said...

I used to have a neighbor girl that came around every few months and we would talk, well she would talk and I would listen. I was glad I was able to give her that and thank you for reminding me. I should email her and see how she's doing.

Mrs4444 said...

Everyone should have a Carol Davidson. I did. I am also trying to be one for a student and her sister (their mom died unexpectedly a month or so ago). It's an easy thing to do that can change a life forever, obviously.