This is getting old, even to me, especially to me, but i can do nothing but tell the truth.
I am surviving. I am getting through each day as best i can. Yesterday, i picked my brother up at his work, and we went over to his house for dinner. I had to have him drive as i sobbed bitterly the whole way. I think i allowed myself to do that with him as i KNOW he loves me, and i could finally let loose after a day of going through the motions.
I know the man who left was not such a prize in many ways, it's not even about that. it's just that i miss having someone to share my life with, someone who asks how my day was and listens to the answer.
And there's all the new things, setting up a new e-mail account, figuring out how to back up my laptop, trying to get the Roku thing to work using one of the three fucking remote control thingies we have for the fucking tv. Replacing cartridges in the printer and going online to order new ones. Do you know how many god damned printers there are in this world?
There's no one to multi-task that shit with. The collective memories that i used him as RAM for are gone. If i forget it, it's gone.
Proudly helping Em work stuff out for her summer gig. She did most of the work and i provided practical life experience and encouragement. Look what we can do together, with no help. It's inspiring.
Went hiking today with a friend. That was good. But now here i am on a Saturday night, picking at a store-roasted chicken and waiting until it's a respectable time to go to bed.
That's the god damned truth of it.