I filed for divorce today. Four months after he walked out the door.
I don't know what else to say. I'm having a bit of a weep over it.
Why did i have to do it, instead of him? you might ask.
Well, who knows when he would have gotten around to it. I feel like i'm living in limbo, not knowing what he will do. Not knowing if i'll have to fight with him or if he will do what he said he would. I don't trust him. Odd that. Not.
So i did it for me, so i can get started on this process so that it will end sooner rather than later. But it sure is sad. Tears seem appropriate.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
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27 comments:
Wow. My first reaction was to say "go, you!" and congratulate you taking control of a process that I sense you felt out of control of. My second reaction is that divorce, no matter how necessary, is not something to celebrate. So here we are, my third reaction. Nah - I think you do deserve to be congratulated. You are looking out for yourself, taking charge. Anyway, congratulating isn't the same as celebrating. Related, but not the same. 2nd cousins, tops.
Tears do seem appropriate, but hopefully not too many.
Take good care.
Ditto what Bob says. Thinking of you, Meno!
tears are totally appropriate. I know a year ago, you never thought this would be where you are.
But you are beautiful and you are loved.
Bob seems a very wise man. I'm sorry and sending many hugs.
My heart is heavy. You're very mature and efficient, looking after yourself, and I know you're in great hands. Buy the cat a new catnip toy! Sending love to you.
Tears are appropriate.
I am not convinced that the singular act of filing for divorce is empowering. However, the many small acts that you have taken over the past 4 months to get your life back in order, however gradual those acts may be, ARE empowering.
Hugs to you, Meno.
Tears are appropriate. Remember, though, that you're moving forward. It doesn't feel that way now, I know, but you are moving through this. Someday, maybe sooner, maybe later, you won't feel the need for tears. My hope for you is that that day come sooner, and that the adjective you'll use is "relief."
Every situation is different...making "appropriate" responses very inclusive.
As for his procrastination in filing...it's easier to just walk away than it is to take care of the details.
good for you: a sad but necessary task. You can only rely on yourself to do what is in your best interests, and this is it.
Brava, my dear.
I came over from Suebob's. You are stronger than you think you are and taking the initiative will give you back some control. Get a good lawyer. If Soon-EX does what he said then great. If he doesn't then you are prepared. Best of luck, I am rooting (and reading) for you.
LH
I think this was a very brave step in the right direction on your part.
It's an ending, so of course it's normal to cry. Hang in there.
xoxo,
fiwa
Good for you doesn't seem like the right thing to say, but regardless, it's good for you that you are moving forward and making decisions fore yourself, rather than waiting for someone else to make them for you. It sucks that the right thing to do is so often the hard thing to do.
Thinking of you.
courage.
Huge hugs to you! You are a brave girl, and the sooner this is behind you, the better. All the caring you lavished on him belongs to you now - he has given you no reason to trust him and your only option is to take care of you and your interests, so I'm very happy that you're doing that. Tears are appropriate and will help you to move on until one day, you realize you no longer feel like crying. And then we'll all celebrate.
You were right to take the initiative, or he would probably have kept you dangling for months. And probably he'll create all sorts of obstacles in the weeks to come. Tears seem very appropriate. I just hope there are sunnier uplands at the end of this horrible mess.
It's good to get those toxins out through your tears.
How can you not cry? It's an ending and it's sad even if it's absolutely the best thing.
Like when you cry at the end of a good book, maybe. Doesn't mean you want to read it again, just sad that it's over. But the fact that you filed says something about you that I admire very much.
Absolutely appropriate.
Taking the power in your own hands means so much more than waiting for his move. Your life, your call.
You're getting stronger.
Oh, My wise and beautiful friend, how I wish all that I'm catching up on here was not so familiar. Heed your fears and instincts as to his behaviors, you know him. As for fears of being bitter, let it out, it will grow tiresome to you when you've let it out of it's cage. Don't let it grow unmanageable as a subconscious beast.
Much Love
*hug*
A very healthy approach. I wish you peace and strength.
I think he's a shit for making you do it, but I would have done it too. How can you get on with your life if you don't? I wish I lived near enough to give you a hug. I hope you can feel it from here. xo
I get it. As much as it sucks to not be able to count on him to follow through, I'm glad you have the control in the end. I hope it's over soon.
I had to file too and, after all the lying, it seemed one more sign of his utter lack of responsibility or respect.
Hugs. I know that had to be a hard one.
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