Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Amusing title

Tomorrow i am heading off at ass o'clock to fly to New York to help Em pack up her shit and then move back to the Northwest to live with me.

How did this happen?  Well, she tried living in NY and it wasn't for her.  And she tried having a job in NY in her field of interest and it wasn't for her. And so she's coming home to regroup and try again.  At least she will never look back at her life and say, "I wish i'd tried living in NY."

The Ex continues to confuse me.  He is very recently re-married, and yet he continues to contact me.  We actually met face-to face for the first time in over a year last weekend.  For me, it was awful.  The Eagles song "Lying Eyes" spontaneously erupted in my head.  I left abruptly and then devolved into tears, scaring my neighbors in the elevator on my way to my apartment.

He then sent me an email offering to come over and help me with the complicated electronic sound/video system.  I sent back a very blunt email saying that it was not good for me to see him and i preferred to interact through email only.  I was thinking he might be offended enough to stop contacting me, but nope.

I am ashamed to admit that it both comforts me (he still cares!!!) and makes me ill.  Because really, he doesn't care, he just wants to feel like an okay guy.

Which he isn't.

13 comments:

Mrs. Chili said...

You get to control whether or not you see or interact with him anymore. Don't allow him to make that decision for you; take care of your own soul.

jaded said...

I hope one day, Lily Allen's "Smile" (the sentiment more than the actual song) plays in your head should you have to share face time with him again.

You KNOW yourself well. You KNOW him very well. Does he KNOW anyone, or does he just think he knows what he wants?

Bob said...

sounds like he's trying to assuage the guilt he feels for having treated you so poorly.

he should keep his hair-shirting to himself.

Princess in Galoshes said...

WELCOME BACK! Sorry I missed the last few posts. But welcome, welcome back. I have missed you. Sorry your ex is messing with your head, it just sounds like another selfish move on his part, trying to assuage his guilt somehow but in the meantime screwing with your emotions, which really just needs to heal. What an egomanic. (Him, not you, obviously.)

Pippa said...

He's an asshole. A selfish, self-serving asshole. I wonder if his wife knows he contacts you?

Your lovely daughter is grown and I don't see any reason for you to have any contact with him at all, save something huge happening with Em.

Don't play into his mind games. Heal yourself and move on. You have so many people who care about you (and haven't even MET you), you don't need his shit anymore.

I think it will be better with your daughter back. I know it will.

Peace.

Diane Ingle said...

I'm glad you are blogging again. Even though I don't know you, I still think of you and wish you well. Glad your daughter is coming back. Kind thoughts coming your way.

mischief said...

I'm also happy to hear you're going to have your daughter with you. Too bad she didn't love NY, but it seems as though you two are good friends and good sources of support for one another, so closer together is better. And as for the ex, please do be careful with your heart.

Deb said...

Sending hugs woman.

luckyzmom said...

No he is not!

Magpie said...

NY? really? Huh.

Here's hoping you had an okay trip.

Dick said...

It is good to see you writing here again. Sounds like you are doing pretty well on your own although it will be good to have Em back nearby. Just be careful.

I haven't been adding anything to my blog as the original intent to keep family & friends informed as I traveled in my RV is no longer relevant. I should go close it out. My sons are pushing me to try Facebook but I have heard so many scare stories about problems of security with it that I am reluctant to go there. Maybe, with limited access.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

He seems to want to have his cake and eat it, too. Whether he is trying to assuage his guilt or has decided he made a huge mistake is really irrelevant. Protect yourself, please. Don't allow him to have any power over you when you have worked so hard to get where you are now. It's wonderful that Em is coming home. You and she are a perfect mutual support system. Have a great trip!

Therese said...

Last sentence. You're a smart lady. He got what he wanted, now he has the leisure to try and ease his conscience for ruining his life. Someday it might make YOU feel better to be a friendly terms with the father of your child, but that probably won't be for years. Don't let him rush you by offering dribs and drabs of kindness that you think are for you, but aren't.