Sunday, July 07, 2013

Knife to the heart. Plus stitches.



What made me sad today?  

Sharpening a knife.

When we bought the knife and the block and the sharpener (many years ago), we agreed that only one person would sharpen the knives, because of the angle of sharpening or some such.  So he always sharpened the knives, proudly, when i asked, as if it required some special skill.

What made me...angry today?

Remembering the first time when he wanted to leave me, 20 years ago, when he rejected my naked body, because i was being punished.  As if it were defective, which it is not. The embarrassment is what i remember.

A thing i heard today that i needed to hear:

Don't believe everything you think.

6 comments:

Deb said...

It's true, don't believe everything you think. Our minds can mess us up or help us out but they need training.

What made you happy today? Grateful? What made you smile?

Sending hugs woman.

mischief said...

To me, these two memories shared a common theme: control. A man who wanted control. Taking control back from him has to be painful, because gaining muscle mass always hurts at first. But then you get to enjoy the rewards of your new strength.

Mrs. Chili said...

Here's the thing (and I KNOW it doesn't feel like a big deal, but it is); that you're CONSCIOUS of these things is HUGE. That you're acknowledging these feelings (and the things that trigger them) is INCREDIBLY healthy. You're doing this right. Trust that, even if it still feels like shit.

jaded said...

I guess putting down the toilet seat would also be considered a skill.

meno said...

@jaded- no fucking shit!

luckyzmom said...

What everyone else said, plus, "Happiness is a decision".