Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Take this job and shove it.

The Mister had a bad moment while we were on vacation about the pressures in his life. His job is very stressful and right now he kind of hates it, and many of the people he works with.

I didn’t retire until i felt that we had enough money for the Mister to retire as well. I didn’t think it was fair to have him feel like he had to shoulder the entire responsibility for money. It would have meant a change in lifestyle if he had retired when i did, but i truly don’t give a hairy rat about most of our “stuff.”

So one of the things we will do in the near future is sit down and make a plan about what we will do if/when he quits. Sell the house, buy a condo, sell one of our fucking cars….whatever. I don’t think he will quit, but i want him to have the feeling that he could. That alone might be freeing enough to relieve some of the pressure.

It could be an interesting year.

20 comments:

Jennifer said...

That alone might be freeing enough to relieve some of the pressure.

Hell yes, it's freeing. And so is having someone in your corner, willing to do/plan/contemplate such things. You're a rock, my friend, and I mean that in the very best of ways possible, seeing as I'm married to one, just like you. ;-)

Happy 2007, mno, to you and yours.

urban-urchin said...

that is freeing and very exciting. i went back to work so that eventually we could retire and put the kids through college, but we don't have near enough set aside and it scares the crap out of me. Good for you.

jen said...

it's so freeing. and so easy to get caught up in the notion that work equates worth.

if you can swing it, cut it all loose and run wild screaming at the moon. i'd do that in a hot minute.

and will eventually.

Sanjay said...

You will find it very freeing when you leave something behind that causes so much stress.
Good luck to you and Mister that you can do this now.

mrschili said...

I work because I want to, not because I have to, and I have to tell you that it is VERY freeing to know that I could tell my boss(es) to turn it sideways and shove it and know that we'd still be able to survive. More than that, it's important to me to know that Husband would support that decision, were I to make it.

I'm certain that sitting down and coming up with a plan will help Mister with his stress. It likely won't solve his problems, but it will surely put them in a bit of perspective.

Sober Briquette said...

I vote you sell your car, after all it's been through.

The power to choose, a feeling that we have control over our own destiny - that's what it's all about.

Give me a heads up if your house is going on the market...I might be able to locate a rich uncle or two.

Bob said...

I envy your position. I agree with others - Mister will feel better having made the plan. Knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel makes the journey through it easier. I hope things ease up for him soon. My job is about to get a lot more stressful and am dreading it.

QT said...

Mmm, yes, methinks that will help tremendously with stress levels. Kudos for recognizing it and being a great partner.

patches said...

Speaking from a parrallel experience at the bitter end of 2005 (the crappy job, and the thankless coworker part), making a plan is spot on. (Do I hear an echo?)

Financial concerns aside (but not taken for granted), if the Mister takes the plunge he may experience more emotional changes than just relief. Missus Chica spent time soul searching this year. It hasn't been easy, but it has been far less stressful than the job was. Of course the soul searching had the advantage of a supportive partner...but when I think about it so did quitting the job. You're all heart, meno.

Thailand Gal said...

Iwould say that getting out of the workforce would be the priority of any sane person. It's only getting worse. One of the things I did prior to getting out was to simplify my life as much as possible. I have very little materially (by choice) but have a lot of freedom. No contest as to which matters more. :)


Peace,

~Chani

Susanne said...

That's a remarkable good plan. Freedom. And who knows, maybe some intersting work will come either your or his way. Not all work is evil.

I realized some time ago that I probably wouldn't stop working even if I didn't need the money. That's a very liberating thought too.

Here's to another interesting year.

Bobealia... said...

I just wish I had a job or my mister had one. Unlike you, I dream that one day my mister will make enough money that I can quit whatever I'm doing, have a studio and make art without caring whether or not it will sell. Some feminist I am. Underneath that secret wish is the underlying wish that I will be spectacularily successful. Too bad I forgot how to spell.

meno said...

jennifer, it's all about knowing that you have other options. No one likes to be trapped.

u-u, we have been very lucky with money. Some hard work too, of course, but much luck.

jen, if you do, take pictures. :) No really, it's a cool idea. More of us need to try and find our way to it.

sanjay, one problem is that he both likes working, and hates it. His issue to work on, i can only provide support.

mrs. chili, i was that way my last three years at work, and they knew it. I was treated very well because of it.

de, yeah, but mine's the cheapest one! and gets the best gas mileage.

bob, i am sorry about your job. Looking forward and seeing that must feel pretty icky.

qt, somedays i am a great partner, somedays i suck, but i try to have the suck days be fewer than the great days.

patches, yes, i know that he will have some feelings about retiring that he won't expect. That's why he has to decide what to do. I can just help him to see other options.

chani, now that i am retired, i so agree with that.

suzanne, i liked working too. But i like being a useless parasite as well.

bo, yeah, i know. This is in the realm of happy problems isn't it? We are lucky to be able to even consider it. I don't think being able to spell = happiness, at least for my sake it better not.

Maggie said...

Even as a happy problem, it takes a brave and pragmatic person or persons to be willing to 'lighten the life load'. But it sure is worth it when it works!

Lisa said...

As Jennifer said, your husband is a lucky man to have you in his corner.
And it sounds like, whatever the future holds for you both, you will be ready for it.

Happy New Year, indeed!

Tink said...

Sometimes just knowing you "can" is enough. You're a good wife to entertain the thought, whether it comes to fruition or not.

I really didn't mean for that to rhyme. :)

platypus said...

Here's hoping he works it out but it will be 100 times easier with you there to support him whatever he decides. :)

meno said...

maggie, i think so too. I just have to get him to agree.

lisa, i'll have to remind him of that!

tink, i think i'll have T-shirts made up with that rhyme!

platypus, i hope we can work out something that will make him feel more comfortable whatever he decides to do. Thanks for your kind words.

sari said...

The one thing that takes off a lot of pressure is having support at home, which you both appear to have loads of.

Mother of Invention said...

Sounds like you two have an easy flow of compromise so you will work out something that makes you both happy.