Monday, March 19, 2007

Hidden agenda

I have a brother, Tim. His time is more valuable than yours.

I now know not to ever go anywhere with him. "Oh, i just need to make a quick stop at one of my buildings (he's a real estate guy) and move 6 dishwashers up from the basement. It won't take more than a minute." Yeah, right. Some variation of this happened more than 50 percent of the time whenever i got into a car with him.

Back when he drove and i didn't, i had no choice. Also, i wanted him to like me. I looked up to him, literally and figuratively. (Get this, i am the shortest one among my siblings. My big brother really is bigger than your big brother!) But this always annoyed me. Of course, i was never strong enough to say anything, back then. Now i rarely see him.

Tim invited the Mister out to help him look for a new car recently. This is the Mister's idea of a good time. If i ever want to perk up his weekend, i'll suggest going to look at cars. As it turned out, the car shopping trip involved a stop at one of Tim's business partner's offices so they could try and get the Mister to invest in something or other.

Why not just be honest? "I'd like to invite your checkbook, oh, and you too, out for lunch."

Some things don't change. Yes this is the brother into whose car i put a dead fish.

28 comments:

Sally Forth said...

Oh, meno, siblings(sigh).
And my little brothers are both taller than I am. And I'm not exactly short! So I know how you feel, maybe.

Joan of Arf said...

OMG. My sister and your brother should do lunch. Although neither of them would make it there due to the other "just take a second" stuff they had to do on the way there.

Husband I and once hitched a ride down from Maine with her... and ended up sitting in the Sugarloaf parking lot for hours waiting for her to pick up her season ski pass (since it was kinda on the way and will only take a minute...).

NEVER DO WE LET HER DRIVE US. EVER.

Toni said...

Was this the same one who threatened to pee on your toothbrush?? Evil!

Ya know, you could go and pee on his... no, it's not mature- but mature is overrated!

meno said...

sally, mine are both older, but as i am very tall, my brother's are huge, like 6'8" and 6'6".

joan, and they'd probably both be offended too.

toni, yes, how did you guess that it was the same brother? Thanks for the offer. I will keep it in mind.

floribunda said...

about 3 years ago I spilled about 1/2 teaspoon of fish emulsion fertilizer in hubby's truck -- and we're STILL trying to get rid of the smell. I could give you a whole list of things that don't work! my siblings don't believe in physical torture -- we just all snipe about each other behind the others' backs.

TTQ said...

Sneaky sneaky Tim, sounds like his intentions always have ulterior motives..all to benefit HIM. Siblings are hard, as I get older and accept them for who they are and let the past be the past..we actually play very nicely these days. My motives when I call or e-mail them are always good now, like I know to ask them if I can help because of whatever they are walking through at the moment.

I think alot of it is me growing up (gasp, I'm scaring me) and not expecting everything to be handed to me on a silver plate as an entitlement since I AM THE BABY AFTERALL! *foot stamp* *huff*
*pout* I want! I want! Gimmie! Gimmie!

Mother of Invention said...

Oh yeah, I remember you saying that..but now I REALLY get it!

urban-urchin said...

Ah now it's all so clear, the dead fish thing I mean.

I hope the Mister didn't invest just to spite him (or if it's a good investment at least made him sweat it for a while).

TTQ said...

Sister Sued

Now this is taking it too far..

liv said...

it just doesn't ever really let up, does it?


my own DAD poked me today. ouch.

Gordo The Geek said...

Wow, what a mess. My brother and I are remarkable normal, generally likeable people. Even to each other. :-)

On the other hand, my in-laws are a mess. :-(

heartinsanfrancisco said...

It's really sad and disappointing when you don't feel that you can trust your sibling.

My older brother and I have had a troubled relationship my whole life.

He's so self-absorbed that I'm not sure he's aware of how atypical it is. Whenever I have tried to tell him, it backfired on me, so I wish him well, but we have very little contact.

I wish it were otherwise.

Nancy Dancehall said...

Hee! I'm taking notes for an apocalyptic future when O and his sister might reconcile.

patches said...

Your brother sounds a little like the Missus Brother....although I don't believe her brother would try to sell her husband a timeshare on the way to look at cars (he prefers to reserve his sales pitches for large family gatherings). One thing I can say for is he takes good care of his wife and kids, and he would be there for his Missus if she asked, but otherwise he's unavailable.

Bob said...

I don't talk to my brother or sister much, they are both in different parts of the country and are still raising their families, so busy, busy. But, for all of that, we get along fine. Just not that often.

I think maybe it's time for a call....

onetallmomma said...

I am blessed with wonderful siblings. Of course, all of my sisters are laughing their asses off at me but I forgive them.

And your tattoo is wonderful. I turn 50 in a few years and may treat myself.

Princess in Galoshes said...

In my family, we just hold grudges.

My brother still hasn't forgiven me for the post where I wrote about my new gig at a stripclub and newfound crack addiction.

It was a JOKE, buddy. Also, like, three months ago. Yeesh.

jen said...

ugh. i don't understand those who really see the world in such a singular way. i truly don't. i'd be a mess.

ugh.

meno said...

floribunda, that stuff is powerful! It should come with a warning label. On the plus side, my cats like it when i use it on the houseplant.

ttq, Tim and i have a cordial relationship, but i expect these things from him. The Mister doesn't and he was pissed. That article about the cat was a riot. I especially liked the part about Siamese cats being the pit bulls of the cat world.

moi, it would take a long time to explain all the nuances of this, or any, relationship, but you get the gist of it.

u-u, Hell no the Mister didn't invest. As if! Appartently the idea was somewhat ill thought out anyway. He offered advice instead.

liv, that bastard. Oh, wait, i just called your dad a bastard. Sorry. Our family always knows right where those sore spots are. Ouch.

gordo, i'm so glad you have SOMEONE in your life that is weird.

hearts, i wish it were otherwise too. But some things can't be changed. Good for you for trying.

nancy, i remember the story you told about her. Scary. Better keep a fish in your freezer.

patches, you know, Tim is a good man, has a lovely family, is very successful and would help me if i ever needed it. But i just hate a hidden agenda.

bob, call them up and say hi for me. You are lucky.

onetallmomma, i am envious of people who have sisters. I think you should get a tattoo, it's kind of fun. And it was really fun to surprise the Mister with it. :)

princess, we don't hold them too too too long, just long enough to ensure that the offending party gets the message. That's weird that your brother didn't think that was funny. I do!

jen, i don't get it either. That's realy a good thing isn't it?

egan said...

Is your brother also involved with pyramid schemes?

Tink said...

That's awful! Do you have any furniture you need moved? Invite him over for "dinner" and then ask for a few favors first. Meanwhile, keep telling him the food will be ready soon and then laugh an hour or two later and say you forgot to turn the oven on. "Oh silly me. How about another time?"

Ortizzle said...

Sounds like the mister should have left maybe a dead fish in your brother's friend's filing cabinet.

TTQ said...

Ahh after mulling this over for a day I was reminded of something I once heard. Our family knows which buttons to push BECAUSE they installed the buttons..

Just saying..

And yeah Siamese are the pit bulls of cats. My grandmother's was psychotic and lasted another 8 years after grandma passed..and of course we couldn't give it away so we just gave it lots of room..and mackeral (which happens to smell like the fish emulsion stuff)

sari said...

I'm the shortest out of all of my family as well, and the oldest.

But they're not really that much taller than I am so it's ok.

Lynn said...

Now I am glad that I don't have a brother! I'm a very up front kind of person...I don't like people who have hidden agendas...I guess that means I wouldn't like your brother Tim...does that make you want to defend him?...I like the idea of the dead fish in the car...well I wouldn't like it if it happened to me...but good for you! He deserved it!

Joan said...

I always wanted a big brother but I can see how lucky I am that mom and dad failed to provide me with one. My suggestion to you is never get into the passenger seat of a car with Tim behind the wheel. Let him be your hostage by insisting you or the Mister drive everywhere!

meno said...

egan, not that i know of. But who knows.

tink, ha, good idea!

ortizzle, he didn't happen to have a fish handy, but it's a good idea.

ttq, goos insight, they did indeed install them. We had siamese cats growing up and they were, to a cat, wonderful loving fuzzy kitties. The mean ones never die.

sari, maybe you can out yell them?

lynn, i am up front too. I just hate being manipulated. One of those buttons that ttq was talking about.

joan, i have another brother who is a friend, so it's not always a bad thing to have a brother.

Mignon said...

I'm glad you added that last comment to Joan. A good brother is a wonderful thing. Sounds like Tim needs a regular visit from a dead fish.