Monday, March 26, 2007

A little silly

I just enrolled Em in a driver's ed class for this summer. Hold me.


I have this slightly odd obsession with weight loss stories. I read all the stories in the product ads. I look at the before and after pictures. I buy books written by people who have lost lots of weight. I read articles about gastic bypass operations. It's kind of odd as i have never been overweight. I mean i have those three six pounds i've needed to lose since 1985, but nothing more serious than that.

This weekend in Parade magazine, that gossip and inspirational rag lightly disguised as news and information, i was reading something about some football players who had all done some weight loss thing together. There were before and after pictures with little quotes from each player. This one was the best:

"My wife says that my gut is less sickening now that i've lost 20 pounds."

Man, those are some encouraging words. I know i'm inspired. Probably the most honest quote of the whole bunch. The rest were all the usual "I feel better." "I look better." etc.

31 comments:

Toni said...

"My wife says that my gut is less sickening now that I've lost 20 pounds."- Wow! That's love, eh??

How is Em's college touring going?

meno said...

toni, She called this morning. They were visiting Georgetown University and she liked it a lot. She's tired because of the time difference and sharing a hotel room with 3 other girls, so i think sleep is a rarity, but she's happy.

Maggie said...

Oh that is too funny. Honesty in all its forms as entertainment.

Em will be driving. You do need to be held. (Not that Em would be a bad driver mind you, but you know, your child, behind the wheel...I feel the shudder)

patches said...

If he's that blunt about weight loss imagine what his testimony would be like if it were an article about erectile dysfunction instead...... but then the whole before and after photo would be a little awkward.

Somehow the thought of Em driving doesn't scare me nearly as much as my father in law behind the wheel.

Thailand Gal said...

Wow.. that's so inspirational, I think I'll write it on a sticky note and put it on the fridge! LOL

Some people are so good at expressing themselves, aren't they?

Em will be fine. Everything you have said leads me to believe she's a very sensible person ~ and she'll drive very carefully. Probably all her life.


Peace,


~Ch

Lucia said...

Snicker, snicker. Less sickening.

Isn't it great that someone else teaches kids to drive? It's much better that way.

Sober Briquette said...

Shit. I think my Parade went out with the recycling. I'd like to leave it out for Tony.

I can't say anything because he gained weight when he quit smoking.

amusing said...

When I learned how to drive, my dad wanted to teach me how the car worked first. A coat hanger was bent into the proper shape to imitate a drive shaft. There was talk of spark plugs, etc. etc. Then he tried to teach me to shift in his Lotus Elan, little, tiny, English sports car (what Mrs. Peel on "The Avengers" used to drive). It was a racing clutch. HIS CAR. Imagine.

meno said...

maggie, i don't sippose there are many parents who would be blase about their kids driving. You still have time though, I AM OUT OF TIME ACK!

patches, "My wife says my erection is a lot less soggy now that i use ...." The thought of your FIL driving DOES scare me more than Em. Yikes.

chani, i wonder if his wife thinks it's as funny as i do.

lucia, yes, i think it will preserve peace in the house. Especially if her DAD tried to teach her, as he is THE BEST driver in the world.

de, um, he might not appreciate that so much. But i would. I am glad he quit smoking though.

amusing, i took Em out in my car one day a dew months ago. It's a stick shift and with my fabulous instruction, she did quite well. I'm surprised your dad survived.

Lynn said...

All of my friends who have kids that now drive were worried... until their kids actually got their licenses...now all they do is brag about how great it is that their kids can drive themselves. Personally the thought freaks me out...and I still have time. So...here's a ((hug)).

urban-urchin said...

I am torn about the driving thing. On one hand, the girl could go to the store and pick and drop off her brother. on the other hand, if my daughter is going to be, at 16, anything like she is at 7- it's a chatty 16 year old girl in a car. with mirrors, and a stereo. God help us.

Okay, I'll bite as I have 20 lbs to lose- what did the football team do to lose the weight?

meno said...

lynn, it will be nice for her to drive herself. But......Waaahhh!

u-u, i really don't even remember. Some sort of Nutra-system i think. You have a few years before you have to worry abour driving, but it does sneak up on you.

jen said...

ouch. the lengths a guy will go to to get a little....never mind.

driver's ed, huh? and college exploration first? you really do need a hug.

i remember fondly, my driver's ed (ok, that's a lie) but still, it's a rite of passage.

Mona Buonanotte said...

HAH! Still sickening, but now LESS sickening.... Oh the poor guy....

I'll hold you and pour you a shot of whiskey if you promise to do the same for me when my kids get older. I'm already panicking.

QT said...

OMG - too much growing up at once, Em - stop! Even I need a hug!

Give the driving a few months and then you will be loving having her go to the store when you run out of an ingredient mid-recipe.

Just tell her to be careful on those floating bridges...

Lisa said...

I can relate to that quotation from at least 2 directions. I need to lose about 20 lbs, so there's that. Not to mention summer coming fast. And then there is Mr. Man, who certainly has a bigger gut than mine. He could lose 40, easy. It's depressing. Also, I find that since I turned 40 y.o., my metabolism is so slow that I can eat almost nothing & not shed a pound. I know, I know, exercise. But isn't there some secret pill I can take? I guess if there were such a thing, my doctors would be thinner.

Bob said...

uhh... pro football players have trainers and nutritional experts that keep them in peak shape. It makes me wonder about your ad. Dan Moreno, on the other hand, is retired and now promotes nutra-systems which he used to lose 20 lbs.

When both were 15, our kids got their learner's permit and I taught both (Laura couldn't make herself do it) - until they both lost interest. Zack didn't get his until the summer before college started, and Kris until a year after she was in college. Both Laura and I taught them to drive during round 2.

Having two other licensed drivers to run errands (theirs and ours) is heavenly. Except when it comes time to pay for insurance........

Josephine said...

That's a pretty mean thing to say to your husband. But, it sort of sounds like it just made him feel proud. I would've cried for weeks if my husband said that to me!!

Mars/Venus

Holly Capote said...

Meno, I'm glad you posted the comment about "less sickening." It sickens me everytime I hear it on tv and it's played for laughs, but no one would be laughing if a woman who'd lost weight said the same thing: "My husband says that my gut is less sickening now that I've lost 20 pounds."

Joan said...

It sounds like this football player's wife still has issues with his gut since it's only "less" sickening. Wonder how many pounds he would need to lose to make it no longer sickening at all to Wifey. And I wonder how many pounds he'd need to lose to get completely rid of his gut. Hmmm...
Good luck with Em behind the wheel. We all survived as beginning drivers and I'm sure she will too.

meno said...

jen, i remember reading about some older man who was bragging about his sex life. His advice was "Get yourself to the gym, dudes!" I guess a hot body is the only key. Huh.

mona, thank you for the whiskey. I promise i'll be there for you, in the unlikely event that i survive this.

qt, i quail at the though of Em driving across the lake. I'll just think about that.....later. (Call me Scarlett)

lisa, It's so annoying that the secret to weight loss is diet and exercise. We are Americans! We deserve a magic pill. Pass the french fries please.

bob, you are right, it was the Dan Marino thing, but there were a whole bunch of ex-footballers in the ad and the quote was not his. I couldn't remember his name. Disgraceful i know. Em has been uninterested in driving so far whereas most of her friends got their licenses at 16 on the dot.

josephine, i think it was supposed to be funny, but it's really just mean. Mars/Venus indeed.

holly, i have never seen that ad on TV so this was my first encounter with it. If it were said about a woman we would all be saying was a jerk the man was. Can you say double standard?

joan, i didn't read it all that carefully, obviously, but those guys are HUGE to begin with. I know we survived, but...but...MY BABY!

Sanjay said...

Honesty can be brutal but refreshing too.

Thank you for the comment re the documentary on the blog.

Do you by any chance recall the name of the Christian haunted house documentary that you were talking about? Thanks :)

Bobealia... said...

I want to know more about why you would enjoy reading these stories. I always skip them.

Platypus said...

Ooh big hugs from me about Em's driving classes. It'll all be fine but I know where you're coming from. Thank goodness I have about 2.5 years before I will have to deal with that...

I read those quotes too (and do have weight to lose) as though by reading them the pounds will melt away. sadly, they don't.

Mother of Invention said...

After I got my licence, my dad gave me the keys and said to go on my first solo flight! He even gave me the gas card! What a sweetheart...I still hear ecos of, "Now slow down, hand over hand...!"

Wonder if the man thinks it's the least bit unflattering to be less sickening??!!

I have to lose 11 lb now from winter weight, plus a drug I've been taking for pain and being hypothyroid for a few months now without meds. I'm not sickening to others but I am to me! Especially in a bathing suit! UGH!

Tink said...

Less? As in, it's still sickening. Just not as much? Wow.

Drivers ED classes are the way to go. Not like me. No one would teach me and the driving classes were too expensive. So I drove in circles, gradually getting bigger as I gained more confidence. Soon I was able to leave the neighborhood! But I could only make right turns.

Tink said...

If you think I'm lying. I'm not. Scouts honor.

meno said...

sanjay, i sent you an e-mail with the movie link. It's called Hell House.

bo, hmmm, human nature triumphs over itself? I am a sick weirdo? I don't exactly know, but i have been doing it since i was young.

platypus, i thought i could delay it by thought alone. But even i don't possess that power. :(

moi, my dad sat stoically in the car while i learned to drive a manual transmission, but he never even told me what to do. I always gain a few pounds in the winter too, probably in sympathy with my cats, who do the same.

tink, i know, nice huh? I believe you, a scout would never lie. Well, except when they do.

liv said...

would you be impressed if i told you that i've lost 205 pounds in the past 9 months? did i birth the world's largest baby? umm, no. can you guess how? i'll concede that the divorce diet did see me lose a personal 20. the rest is your guess!

meno said...

liv, ha ha ha. I know EXACTLY how you lost that 185 pounds of ugly fat! I've lost 20 pounds on the depression diet before too.

holly said...

how do you reckon that conversation would go? 'well, honey, you DO still have a big gut, but it's not quite as sickening these days!' even if I didn't have my own weight to lose (by the way, you make me sick -tall AND skinny!) I can't imagine telling my husband he needs to lose weight...how do you do that without hurt feelings?

when jess started driving, it was scary and worrisome for us. not surprisingly, she waited till she was finished with driver's ed to tell us that her instructor would sleep during the lessons. several of her friends had the same experience with him. scary, huh?