Sunday, August 19, 2007

Dinner conversation

Meno's aunt Dinner guest #1: "Oh, you bought organic chicken. I read in the paper that there's no difference, so i don't bother."

Meno's mom Dinner guest #2: "And i read that free range chicken has more fat."

Meno Hostess: Rolls eyes.

Later that very same night:

Dinner guest #1: "I like this wine. Where did you get it?"

Hostess: "Costco! "

Dinner guest #2: "I can't imagine that they have anything all that great."

Later that very same night:

Dinner guest #2: "May i have some more wine?"


Hostess: "Hmmm, better not, i don't think you'll like it."

36 comments:

liv said...

(piano flourish) Have I told you lately that I love you??

You are fantastic. I think that might have been the tiniest little bear poke! :)

working said...

What is wrong with people?

Mama P said...

You could have broken the tension with a great joke. Here's one. QUESTION: Why did the Pervert, drunk on Costco wine, cross the road? ANSWER: Because his dick was still stuck in the organic chicken.

Ortizzle said...

Next Christmas, give 'em both an etiquette book. Make that hit 'em over the head with it.

Pass the Costco wine, please.
:-)

Airam said...

HA! "Better not .. i don't think you'll like it" ... classic line! Lurve it!

meno said...

liv, tiny? I hate it when you call me tiny! :) I love you too, and you can tell me anytime.

working, THAT is an excellent question. I ask it all the time.

mamap, where, oh where, were you when i needed you?

ortizzle, oooh! Good idea.

airam, i was proud of myself. usually i only think of these things 3 days later.

egan said...

Damn that Costco and their wine!

Sienna said...

Thankyou for the beautiful meal and wine you provided for your family/guests...I think that's just wonderful....I am still flying high after spending a long weekend with Bob Dylan entertaining me in Melbourne! I asked for Patty Griffin and got Bob..he was great.

Mamap is funny I think I would love to tell that joke somewhere..

Pam Nettie Moore

thailandchani said...

Sometimes the things that come out of people's mouths amaze me.. and I'm so grateful that I don't have to put up with it! (It's an advantage to living in a small space. Any shared meals are done in restaurants. :)


Peace,

~Chani
http://thailandgal.blogspot.com

Mrs. Chili said...

What a GORGEOUS response. Sometimes, Meno, you are truly my hero. I always think of things to say like that LONG after the appropriate time has passed. I wish I could think a bit quicker...

Sober Briquette said...

Yay, Meno!

Except my "guest" would have called first thing the next morning, having spent a night awake, analyzing why I had made such a rude comment to her.

Sober Briquette said...

I left out the part saying, "That exact thing could happen to me, except..."

Marsha said...

First you and then Mama P, y'all made my morning. I think coffe came out my nose when I read Mama P's joke.

I think my dear husband may be related to your two dinner guests, his perception never changes no matter what the reality happens to be.

Special K ~Toni said...

At least you survived. Did your guests?

ms chica said...

Deja vous. I've eaten with those guest before...and with my luck I'll get to eat with them again soon. 'Cause life is really fair.

I hope I learn to handle myself as well as you did, but in a pinch I'll settle for remembering Mama p's joke.

Bob said...

see, I avoid situations like this by always going over to their house to eat and not having them over to mine.

the advantages of being a semi-recluse.

Maggie said...

two peas in a pod those huh?
i am impressed you kept your cool. i would have had a very hard time doing so.
the word guest has really lost some of its meaning of late...

meno said...

egan, What! Now you are a wine snob too? Or have you been seduced by the cheap prices?

pam, now why couldn't they have said that? Glad you enjoyed Bob. I've never seen him in person.

chani, maybe we should move to a studio apartment!

mrs.chili, i had been thinking about it during the evening. So i was ready.

de, Ick. My guest just lets it roll off her back. I would hate to get that phone call.

marsha, I've learned never to read anything mamap wrote while drinking. It's hazardous.

toni, barely!

ms.chica, i thought you would relate to this. :)

bob, another excellent tactic. I'll remember this.

Susanne said...

That's a very good reminder never to mention where one purchased the food. I get the "I don't bother to get organic because it doesn't make a difference." paired with the "what did you do to make this so yummy" response every single time.

My Reflecting Pool said...

hehee. I hate when guests are so comfortable they feel they can insult a hostess. Even if it is mom. Good for you!

Dick said...

Very good answers. My experience with Costco has always been positive although I sometimes grouse about them getting me buying something and they they drop it from their inventory. On Saturday I bought 3 - 2Gb SanDisk Ultra II Compact Flash cards for my camera there, on sale for $20 each. When the Sunday paper came out I saw that Best Buy has them on sale for $35 each. Quite a difference for the same quality product.

TTQ said...

And that sums up why we don't have people over for dinner. My itty bitty feelings are waaayyyy too sensitive.

QT said...

obviously, they didn't look it up in Wikipedia. Everyone knows you can't believe everything you read in the newspaper!

I think my dad is heading down the same road as your dinner guests....

egan said...

A wine snob is one of my many talents Meno. I know there are red and white wines and that you shouldn't have a Coke with a fine meal. Enough said.

luckyzmom said...

Speaking of chickens. We get the most marvelous hued eggs from one of our friends who raises chickens. A few days ago her husband left a gate open and most of her precious hens were killed by their dogs. Each hen had been carefully chosen. I have been able to tell the eggs apart and will be sad to discover that there are no more of the huge pale blue ones, the small speckled brown ones or the almost white ones with the ring on the narrow ends.

sari said...

I just got a great laugh out of that, thanks!

Tink said...

You should tell them that everything is the opposite of what it is. That way, when they complain, you can say "Oh good! Because I was lying before." That should shut them up for the rest of the evening. :)

Stucco said...

"May I have some more wine?"

"Maybe if we really squeezed the box..."

ellie bee said...

my god, are we related?

liv said...

dude. it wasn't the BIGGEST bear poke. subtle is good, my delicate little flower.

gr said...

Wine is an expensive habit, better if you never even try good and expensive wines, and get spoiled.

Joan said...

I'm beginning to think that courtesy has been genetically engineered OUT of people. What's wrong with them!?!?!?!!?

meno said...

maggie, you know, in the past i would have been angry. But now i expect it and they make me laugh. Plus it gives me an opportunity to make little snide remarks. Win-win! :)

susanne, now that's funny! I didn't say anything about the chicken, my aunt was nosing around in the kitchen and saw the packaging.

my pool, i don't know why, but some moms just feel like it's their god-given right to criticise their kids.

dick, yay for Costco! And they really do have a good wine selection.

ttq, sounds like you and bob have the same tactic.

qt, a favorite tactic is to come up with some random, not too believable "fact", and then say "Oh, i read it somewhere!"

egan, wow, you are sophisticated! What wine goes with breast milk?

luckyzmom, that's a sad tale. :( You should take a picture of the eggs that are left, they sound pretty.

sari, it is funny. Glad to make you laugh.

tink, another great idea! I'll remember that.

stucco, next time i'll just sling the box out on the table and let them have at it.

ellie bee, looks like it. :)

liv, no, it wasn't the biggest. It was subtle enough so that i'm not sure she knew it was a poke until later.

gary, you are SO right. Next time rum and coke for them.

joan, i just have to repeat my answer to my reflecting pool above. I think she just thinks it's her right. And it's my right to be a smart ass right back.

Princess in Galoshes said...

I'm really late on the game, but I LOVE Em's new hair.

Also- get a bucket of McNuggets the next time they come over and pair it with a nice Bordeaux. (That comes from a box.)

crazymumma said...

shit.

I'll drink it.

capacious said...

Here in Connecticut, Costco sells no wine. And we can't buy booze after 8:00 p.m. most days, except Sunday, when we are all supposed to be respecting the Sabbath and not drinking at all (just TRY to have a spontaneous dinner party). Our lives are hard. Just be happy you don't live here. Oh my God, I'm so sorry for myself writing this, I'm practically drowning in tears (it's Sunday night). Waah waaah waaaaah. You know what I don't like about you? You don't feel sorry enough for me. You just don't.

Okay, I admit it. I found some tequila and triple sec in the cabinet and bought some limes and now I'm drunk as a skunk. I'm a liar and a cheat and you never have to feel sorry for me again. Damn you, for making me feel bad about myself.