Wednesday, October 10, 2007

And now for something completely different....

How do you like them potatoes?

Ok, maybe not so different.

Whenever i post something like that which is below, i have dreams of abandonment. I wake up and have to transfer my consciousness to reality, reminding myself that i am not abandoned. I wake up feeling heavy and sad.

And just to be clear, i IN NO WAY, criticize any decision that any one else has made. Couples cannot and should not always stay together. Abuse, drugs, repeated infidelity..... are not to be forgiven.

And while you were all complimentary to me, you must realize that the pasting back together of this family was not accomplished by the sheer force of my will alone. There had to be two of us. One willing to TRY and forgive, and one who was truly sorry and wanted to be forgiven.

Okay, that's enough of that.

34 comments:

Bob said...

Super-Meno: able to save marriages with a single effort. (tah dah).

I guess there are as many reasons people stay married as there are marriages. and sometimes these reasons are the very ones used to end marriages too.

I think I won't comment on the scatological thoughts raised by that picture.

I hope you sleep better tonight. dream of the potatoes instead.

thailandchani said...

I think we all get that.. and would be equally complimentary to him for having the willingness and the determination to fix what was broken.

We were just talking to you this time. :)


Peace,

~Chani
http://thailandgal.blogspot.com

Sober Briquette said...

This is why I believe in the "power of positive thinking." Not because I've actually done it, but I'm mighty familiar with the power of negative thinking/writing/what have you. It forms a brain cloud in me.

Sunny days, chasin' the clouds away...

crazymumma said...

Oh. I know Meno. Really I know. I just can't post it on my blog because of extended family.

With love comes a great capacity for forgiveness and healing.

And with tragedy comes a great capacity for humour.

nice 'taters.

liv said...

hmmm....yes. these dreams i'm familiar with. i have had some that have formed a mighty cloud over me the past few days. it makes me want to hug a bottle of prozac.

Susanne said...

It always takes two to make a marriage (or any other relationship work).

(Sorry, I'm suffering from mushy brain again...)

Wouldn't that be a cool super-power Bob suggested for Super-Meno? Maybe it could be used for world peace too.

WNG said...

I think about the fact that Mama and Papa G stayed together until I was out of college- even though I asked them for a divorce when I was in 8th grade. They never had the two sides that you talked about. Now that it's all over Mama G has (in Papa G's words) blossomed. I'm glad that the two of you were able to put your marriage back together and blossom.

Princess in Galoshes said...

Dirty, dirty potatoes.

And on a more serious note... I think there's a lot more to dreams than our culture often dedicates the time to understanding. But I think a lot of it is metaphorical, and I think it's fascinating the way our brains deal with our baggage on a subconscious level.

But you seem to be dealing with your feelings on a very conscious level, too. And that's commendable... not all of us are able to.

Andrea said...

I came by for a visit because TTQ said we weren't allowed to drink together, and I just had to find out who I couldn't get drunk with.

Admittedly, I like the person I found at the other end of the little blue link. I love the raw vibrance that shines up from the black and grey. I'll be back. :)

meno said...

bob, next i'm off to cure cancer, after i make myself a cape. :) Scatological? I thought it looked like testicles!

chani, yeah! If he wants compliments, let him get his own blog. :)

de, if positive thinking works as well as negative, then it must be powerful indeed. I wish i knew. Have you been watching too much Sesame St?

crazymumma, the advantages of anonimity are many, except that i worry about someone i know stumbling across this. Think of the deleting i'd have to do. Glad you like the spud.

liv, there was a time when prozac (or some such variation) was the answer for me.

susanne, mushy brain come with pregnancy. I'll let you know when/if it goes away.

wng, How does Papa G feel about the blossoming of Mama G? None of my business, but i am a nosy one. I have see this happen with some people i know too. It's really quite beautiful.

princess, wonder what they were up to buried in the ground. When i remember my dreams, i enjoy trying to see if i can figure out where they came from. Sometimes the answer is disturbing.

andrea, Aren't you nice? And who is ttq to tell us that we can't drink together? The nerve of that woman! Thank you for the compliment.

deb said...

Your last sentence reminds me of Forrest Gump, "...and that's all I got to say about that."

Em said...

That's quite the potato you got there! LOL

flutter said...

Love you and love the love that wanted to glue the family back together.

Maggie said...

You know, I've been thinking about your answers, which were insightful, deep and thought-provoking, and I wondered if most of us had to be honest, we would realize what you have. That it is the trials that shape us more than the sweeter moments. Birth, wedding, these are moments when we celebrate, we rejoice, we bask in love. But the moments of tribulation are those times when we are forced to look inside and see what we have available to get through. We have to dig or learn or mature. If we don't we often don't acutally get through, i.e. someone who ends up dependant on someone or something.
And the part about living even if we don't want to - AMEN (but thank goodness we get past that and reach the times when there is peace)

TTQ said...

testicular potatoes and nerves of steel.

TTQ said...

Oh and the word asociations that you and Andrea left on my blog reminded me of myself and friend (and roommate) way back when. We totally were out of control. Me drunk, her puking. Good times, good times. We rocked that town and it's bars..

QT said...

I know the dreams you are talking about - yuck.

Also, I like the potatoes. And I got my tix to Sea-town for Christmas. I will be there 20th-27th. Hopefully we can sneak in a cup of joe or a glass of wine somewhere, somehow!

peevish said...

I ate a tomato that looked very similar (in the 2-lobed category) just last night. And, without prior knowledge, posted photos of the giant mushrooms in my backyard right after you did the same. Should I be freaking out?

ms chica said...

Isn't the left one supposed to hang a bit more forward? And I always thought when you showed them to us they would be somehow, more brass.

The work of two? I never considered it any other way :)

My Reflecting Pool said...

In what I do, it didnt take long to realize a relationship is Two people. I never thought for a moment you alone made it miraculously happy. Infact, reading your post made me realize how hard those years must have actually been.

Open Grove Claudia said...

I admire you for taking the hard road. I think people don't really realize that relating is part of relationship. I'm certain that those moments were unexpected, painful and yet transforming. Good for you allowing yourself to learn what it means to really love.

You're an inspiration.

meno said...

deb, sometimes enough is enough, you know?

em, glad you like my potatoes.

flutter, family is the only reason to live, for me.

maggie, there were times when i thought i would never make it. <3

ttq, i saw that! We were scarily alike. No more puking though. :)

qt, yeah, those dreams stay with me and weigh me down. I would love to see you again, We aren't leaving town, so please be in touch and we'll make some time to get together.

peevish, i know, that was eerie. But yours had real fairies. Those were real weren't they?

ms. chica, i think it depends on how you hang. :) Mine are brass, or steel.

mu pool, yes it suckes, and i had mant many doubts. But it's over, and we perservered.

claudia, hi there! good point about the relating.

Lynn said...

Talk about 'hot potatoes'. Here I thought it was a children's "choosing game". Now I know the true meaning.

I think that most people realize that it takes two people working together to make and maintain a relationship.

Sienna said...

Well, we call those potatoes *spuds* here...I can do wonderful and wild things with spuds (you know I mean gourmet-wise right).

Absolutely gotchya on the it takes two to save a relationship...and you're still amazing. I'll bet the Mister Meno is amazing too.

Did you know pumpkins are an aphrodisiac in Australia...especially held in that regard by country folk...crikey it must be spring.

Pam

Mrs. Chili said...

Those are some great potatoes - and a really great commentary on how well the Mister did his part.

Bob said...

I guess I misused the word, I had always interpreted it to refer to titillating or obscene objects or language. I see now that it really has a narrow meaning relating to scat (excrement). Thanks for calling me on that, I have learned something new and can take the rest of the day off.

WNG said...

To answer your question: I think he's a little baffled as to why it couldn't havehappened when they were together. And I think he misses her.

meno said...

lynn, you'll never look at mashed potatoes the same way again! I thought most people knew that, but i didn't want anyone to think i did it all alone.

pam, you say spud, i say potato. Pumpkins are an aphrodisiac? Damn, 'tis the season for them here.

mrs. chili, exactly!

bob, i thought that maybe you thought that my potstoes looked like shit! Enjoy your day off. :)

wng, thanks for indulging my nosiness. Sounds kind of poignant.

Scott from Oregon said...

I see the potaoes, but where's the beef?

Melanie said...

I believe you and i are very much alike on the forgiveness level. I find it difficult to trust and forgive again. Bravo for your growth and clarity on that.

god help the poor man who decides that I am worthy of his love. I fear he will have a lot to teach me. And sometimes I am not a willing student.

such is becoming an adult. thanks for posting this.

Irrelephant said...

You never cease to amaze, Meno.

Maggie said...

Me too. Still have those moments really. But they happen less and less, so that's good. We'll see what song I will be singing two weeks from now when my husband is at Scout camp with B for the weekend and I'm on twin duty by myself for two days, boo hoo hoo.

Mother of Invention said...

Yes, there's always the other half of the duo to plug in. Yours was not only willing to be forgiven but must have been willing to do his part of the work on the glue to hold it together again. Hope it's stuck for a lifetime now.

Mama P said...

We all have our crosses to bear, so to speak. It can be heavy. It's hard to know when to ask for help, when you're just being weak and need to suck it up, or when things aren't working. In some ways, it's harder on an optimist, because they think they can love something into working. I... um... I'm not talking about me of course!

I admire you for your strength, even if it's just to decide that you're not going to die, no matter how miserable. I would like to think I am that way, too. (See how I can take a compliment to you and turn it on me? Also the sign of an optimist AND a narcissist)