Marginally Amusing Poop

It's funny how when i am away from you, my friends, i spend time trying to remember things i MUST tell you.

So i must wander in the weeds a bit, in the telling.

Christmas Day made me hopeful that my extended family (brothers, sisters-in-law and their offspring) can actually have fun together. Because we did have fun. The nieces and nephews had a great time locating their Christmas money inside Kleenex boxes. (I think next year i will steal the idea of gluing the money inside walnut shells.) Then we all went off to see the movie BOLT, which was the perfect Christmas movie for us.

The snow finally ended, and there is very little of it still around. But there are Bott's Dots everywhere. I have harvested a few.

My parents were the first people (my mother kept repeating this fact to anyone who would listen) to move into their new retirement home, right before all the snow hit. This is a huge relief for all of us. We went there on Christmas Eve for dinner and inspection. The place is gorgeous. Their apartment is spacious and on the 9th floor and has a great view out over the city. Plus, did i remember to tell you that they were the first people to move in?

Our New Year's Eve will be spent in a manner befitting geeks. We are going to see a taping of the radio show Says You, and should be home tucked in our beds by 10:30, at the latest.

Em got a stuffed elephant which she has named Rudyard.

I'm thinking of moving. The fact that my daughter reads this makes me feel stifled. So far, it's just a thought. But it's hard to be as dismal as i sometimes want to be, and i never wanted a cute little blog where i always post marginally amusing poop.

Cocoon

I know you in the actual Midwest and Northeast and Canada and etc. will laugh at us here in Seattle, but we are not used to this.

SNOW! It's so beautiful here. I just can't believe it.

Em made it home from Ohio on Saturday, between storms and only about 40 minutes later than scheduled. I was anxious that she might get stuck somewhere as she flew through Chicago's O'hare airport, but all went smoothly.

Well, except that her luggage didn't show up until 11:30 last night, but on the plus side, she looks cute in The Mister's jeans.

The Mister's fancy-ass SUV FAILED to make it up the driveway on Thursday morning. (Not gloating, not!) This thing is so fancy it has many special settings for driving in different conditions:

1) Loose gravel less than 20mm

2) Loose gravel greater than 20mm

3) Gravel that stays home at night

4) Plague of locusts (crunch, crunch)

5) Snowing lightly

6) Snowing heavily

7) Snowing somewhere else

What it does lack is a setting for getting it up the driveway.

So we spent 2 hours clearing the driveway (we have a long driveway) and got his car up and it has been parked on the street ever since.

It's been kind of fun. We venture out once a day to hunt and gather (at Top Foods) and then head back home to watch trashy movies and eat popcorn.

Today i went to the hardware store, hoping to maybe buy a snow shovel. Of course i am the 5,436th person with that idea, but they did tell me that they were expecting a small shipment in about an hour.

After lunch i called the store back to see if they were in yet and was told to hurry back as they were in and going fast. I had to shove a few old men and a woman with a baby out of the way, but i am now the proud owner of a $15 red plastic snow shovel. Wheeeeee!!

More snow expected tomorrow. Thank god i have my shovel.

A Christmas Tradition Continues

A few years ago, i started playing a little game with my nieces and nephews at Christmas. They are all old enough so that everything they want costs lots of money, so i just give them money, and they can do with it what they will.

The first year, i bought them all white underwear and hid the money inside the undies. They were pretty disgusted with me, until they figured it out. We all had a good laugh.

Last year, i hid the money inside white socks. But they were on to me and found the money right away.

This year i thought i'd just hand them money, because i was too lazy to come up with another idea. But then i thought - Kleenex! I slit open the side of a practice box, and the game was on! This morning i bought 5 boxes of different sized kleenex, slit open the sides, inserted money and some Christmas bells in each box, and glued them shut again.

Bwah hah aha hahha hah!

Evil aunt meno is evil! I can't wait.

Extra photos of random stuff:

Back lit Pampas Grass:

The high temperature here today was below 0 C (32 F) so everything is covered with a layer of frost that sparkles like diamonds in the sun:
Yesterday at the grocery store i saw this display at an idle check stand. I am assuming that it was for training new cashiers, but it amused me. The manager came over to ask me why i was taking a picture of it. I told him "Because it amuses me." He left, but watched me warily after that:

Brown cat helping with my crocheting:

fluff and nonsense

Things that made me smile today:

~walking in to the place i volunteer and having someone who was leaving call out to me, "have a good weekend, meno." It's this little stuff about working that i miss.

~We are wrapping presents for the Adopt-a-Family program, and someone brought in cupcakes from that fancy new cupcake store in the mall. They cost $2.50 each. I ate a red velvet cupcake. MMMmmmmmm. It was worth the money.

~Someone telling me to put ice cubes down my bra, because i was fanning myself during a hot flash.

~The Mister is back home.

Something that made me laugh out out today:

~someone got to my blog by googling "How long do you have to wait to kiss after having meno."

Not long, not long at all!

Traveler's Blues

I was all set to announce my appointment as Illinois' new senator, to fill the position that Obama just vacated, but some legal and technical things came up so i had to withdraw my name. Saved me a BUNCH of money though.

Anyway,

The Mister is traveling again. A few weeks ago, he went away for two weeks, really really far away. This time he's just gone for 5 days.

I've always had a tough time when he's been away. I don't sleep well. I'm anxious. (Those of you who get anxious know that anxiety is a lot less pleasant than it sounds, and it doesn't sound pleasant.)

The anxiety is because i didn't trust him to not do something stupid, and a little because i was concerned about his safety. That is shitty of me to say, but it's the truth.

Back when we had a young child, it was harder to be the one at home. (The Mister found this out when i did a little traveling for work one year.) But now it's harder to be the one away. I'm home, in my own bed, surrounded by kitties and he's off staying in weird hotel rooms with other people's ass juice on the bedspread, eating crappy food and dealing with airlines.

With his being gone this much, and with the modern communication devices we have (did you know that you can text message someone in China?) it's really no big deal anymore, and i'm getting used to being here alone. In fact, i kind of like it. And in truth, it's almost annoying how many times a day he texts, IMs or calls me.

But i'll be glad when he's home. I just feel good that it doesn't bother me anymore. I feel stronger and more independent.

I told him this. I think it made him sad, a little.

Gossip hound

I love gossip.

Okay, i'm exaggerating for maximum shock value.

I like gossip.

It's not cool to admit that, but damned if i don't think most people do like it.

The reason this comes up is that i went to lunch with someone today who told me that she does not gossip, and then spent the whole time talking about other people, which, i think, is what gossip is.

The failure to examine our own behavior is the definition of denial. I hate denial.

Ask a stupid question

I really want to do a rant about the book/movie Twilight, because i have fairly strong feeling about it being not just harmless entertainment, but pornography for young girls.

But i won't, because it would be useless, and really, in the long run, what does it matter? Who am i to swim against the overwhelming stream of salmon who love love LOVE it? Plus i know i will catch hell.

Ahem.

Do people ever ask you questions that leave you standing there with your mouth open, waiting for something to come out of it, but nothing does?

Today someone asked me if i think i'm "complicated?"

What the hell does that mean?

Complicated compared to other people? And how would i know having only been myself? It's like asking someone if it feels different to be them than it does to be you.

"Oh, yes. I'm VERY complicated."

Seems kind of an arrogant thing to say.

I finally answered that i think we are all simple AND complicated. How's that for not answering a rhetorical question meant to be a real question?

Simple as in we all just want a beautiful immortal person to come along who will love only us forever and ever and will save us and take care of us and make us live forever and ever too. A fictional person that will give us an unrealistic idea of what love is really like, that it takes work, and that no one is perfect, thus dooming all future relationships to disappointment.

Ooops, slipped back into the Twilight rant. Sorry. I know i'm taking it too seriously, but i just can't get over the icky feeling that it's worse than just incredibly badly written crap.

***pant pant****

Where was i?

Oh, complicated.

And complicated because everyone has baggage and buttons and experiences and....all those things that give us the deep psychological scars that make us so interesting in later life and keep therapists in toys and cookies.

I should have just replied "Huh?"

Media sadness

I have told you about this before, that i am a wimp as far as visual entertainment. I think it's getting worse.

We tried to watch the series "Mad Men" recently. I made it about half way through the first season. The Mister still wants to watch, but i don't. It's just so sad. The people are all miserable and fucked up, and so despicable towards one other. After every episode i felt depressed.

The Mister can watch if he likes, i will just leave the room. Which means he probably won't watch it.

Imez wrote something about the movie "Trainspotting" in a post. I admitted that i left partway through that movie too, feeling battered and sad.

Imez answered "I never thought of you as the type of girl to wander away from things that seemed depressing."

Oh, yes i am.

It's hard for me to understand why people want to watch/read things about sad, unhappy people who are unlikely to change. It's difficult to watch things that make me feel sad. I have a hard enough time trying not to be sad without any help from media.

We also started watching "Arrested Development" while Em was home for Thanksgiving. I did some laughing, but i also wanted to slap the people and tell them to stop being so self-indulgent and get a spine. Plus the undercurrent of financial desperation makes me sad.

Sigh.

Can you explain it to me?