Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Stupid Meno tricks

A long time ago, clearly in a galaxy far far away....

The scene: I am sitting in some crappy house, with crappy people i don't know, except for my roommate from college. They are some of her skanky high school friends. We are smoking dope and listening to loud music.

Cultural reference: It used to be a point of honor to never change the water in your bong. So it became increasingly loathsome, brown and crudy. If you were really cool, you used beer.

Action: It is my turn with the bong. As i inhale i accidently drop my gum down into the bong. Ooops. If i had know these people i might have laughed and confessed. So, trying to get my gum back before anyone notices, i tip the bong up, so the gum will come back to me. Good thinking, no?

What happened next: All the gross, hideous, slimy bong water spills all over my face and clothes. Everone looks at me, wondering why in the hell i tried to drink the bong water.

Conclusion: Why do you think they call it dope?

I was cool when i was 18.

35 comments:

lu said...

When I was 18 I lived in a house with 3 other theatre majors. I hated pot; it made me paranoid, so I was oblivious to all the paraphernalia, I didn't understand that the dried grass was the party. It took me awhile before I understood why no one wanted to play with me.

liv said...

lu is my psychic twin. the green doth make me a paranoid fool. besides, at some point I remember making the life altering decision that boozing was more fun.

urban-urchin said...

I HATED pot. All it made me want to do was eat salty snacks and watch cartoons. I saved myself a lot of time when I figured this out.

I laughed out loud at this meno- I distinctly remember the nasty nasty smell of bongwater. Eww.

Cagey said...

hahahaha

I love that most good stories involving pot start off with "crappy house". hahahaha

Thanks for bringing back the memories of all the crappy houses I spent some of my ill begotten youth in. Ahhhh.....

Thailand Gal said...

I didn't care for pot either. It just did absolutely nothing for me. The blissful, peaceful, mellowed-out haze just never seemed to come.

The bong water... now that's funny! LOL


Peace,

~Chani

Lynn said...

Beer in a Bong?????? I've never heard of such a thing!!! Good thing you grew up! ;~)

SUEB0B said...

gagging...gagging...gagging

Mama P said...

I had my first mini experience with pot today - film at 11.

Kelly said...

Ewwwww...Bong water, now that is some nastiness! Good times, good times.

Malnurtured Snay said...

Were you at least wearing a white t-shirt?

meno said...

lu, you are smarter than i am, it took me much longer to figure that out. Am i having fun? Why,no!

liv, i am with you sister!

u-u, i hated it too. I was just too stupid to say no for a long long time. I'm glad i made you laugh.

cagey, i don't know why you would thank me, i'd forget those crappy houses and weird situations if i could.

chani, it was a disgusting happening. Sigh, so young and stupid was i.

lynn, yeah, whiskey was cool too. Ick!

susbob, worse than cum that stuff. I hear.

mamap, can't wait to hear!! Tuning in.

kelly, you've been there too. Yeah, it was a proud moment.

mal s, good lord, i can't remember that much detail. Like, you know?

Antonia said...

Oh God I remember what that water was like. Foulness from the depths of hell.

I used to enjoy pot, but got bored with all the sitting around, eventually. I'm a bit scared of it now. I think it would make me all quiet and confused.

holly said...

oh, the horror...it's never comfortable to hang out with crappy people you don't know, but it's worse when you're young. I hope you held out for cleaner bong water after that.

gr said...

Youth is, perhaps, over-rated.

Caro said...

Oh! the memories...Thanks Meno,I am now going to Google Stewart Copeland.

mrschili said...

Eeew!

I had my first personal experience with pot last year (beyond, of course, the concerts and back of the school bus). I'm 38, and pathetic. What's worse is that it didn't seem to have an effect on me. So sad...

Carolie said...

Pot made me hungry, tired or horny. Didn't need ANY help thankyouverymuch with any of those three things. Besides, I felt stupid enough at parties.

But, oh, dear Meno....thank you! I smile, I grin, I often find things funny, but I very rarely laugh out loud.

I read this post, and I think I hurt myself. I'm still hiccuping from laughing so hard. So thanks!

meno said...

antonia, i imagine it's about as nice as water from the Pit Of Eternal Stench. I used to enjoy it sometimes, but the other effects, grogginess, inertia, paranoia aren't so much fun.

holly, you know, these things weren't usually under my control. But at least these people got clean water!

gr, i think that you could remove the perhaps from that statement.

caro, Supertramp, Al Stewart. Peter Frampton, Heart, ZZ Top (ick), especially Supertramp.

mrs.chili, Wow! You lead a protected childhood. Ok, i know you didn't, but that's unusual.

carolie, i am so happy to have amused you. It's just one of those stupid things i've done that are much funnier after a few years.

Tink said...

As someone who has accidently sucked bong water out of a hooka... EW! That is some of the foulest tasting/smelling stuff in the world.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Wasn't "Bong Water" the name of band? If not, it should be.

Or "Bong Beer".

Yes. I could make up names all day.

patches said...

Gee meno, no chewing gum is worth that. That's like dropping SBDs around a bunch of drunks. Don't ask, Don't tell. After it happens no one's really lucid enough to recall point fingers anyway.

I grew up in a house full of chain smokers, so pot never had any appeal to me. I led a relatively sheltered life, unless you count all the alcohol I consumed before entering junior high. Having an older sister rules!

Jhianna said...

Oh ewwww ewwww ewwww. But I remember those days - I wish I had known back then just how stupid I'd feel later for sticking around someplace crappy.

QT said...

OMG - Thanks for the laugh. Oh, the memories!! If you wouldn't have tipped it over, they probably wouldn't have found the gum for quite some time...

meno said...

tink, it's nasty business. A hookah? Do tell!

mona, i love Google. There is a 1997 move called Bongwater. Also a drink recipe for Bong Water. Don't think i'll be trying that one.

meno, yeah, i know. Wasn't thinking too clearly at the time, you know?

jhianna, ewww pretty much sums it up. All the way around.

qt, it is funny to look back on. At the time they were all staring at me thinking ".................."

Mother of Invention said...

Okay, I'm a dipstick...was and still am...what the heck is a bong and how do you use it? The only pot I saw some friends used was rolled up into joints and just smoked. Or are you talking about hash?

Bob said...

I think I'm not exactly in the same camp here - I never did understand what was so bad about pot. I had a good time when high. No hangover either. I haven't smoked since college, but if it were legal I probably would have. I never did anything stupid while high, I can't say the same about when I was drunk.

I could have sworn I commented earlier........

Nancy Dancehall said...

I knew a guy who brewed coffee with his bong water. No, I never had a cup. He was enough to dissuade anyone of that notion, let alone the 'berfrgh' factor.

Bob said...

MoI - a bong is a water pipe. the smoke from the burning pot is "filtered" through the water as you inhale. This cools the smoke and makes it a bit less harsh.

H said...

There is absolutely a band called Bongwater! They were great and my ex even had a spliff with the lead singer once.
BTW That's not quite my best claim to fame. Honest.
Can I also recommend Dogbowl and King Missile form the same genre of very, very weird psychedelia.
...sorry....I'll go now.

Joan said...

I was so uncool when I was 18...can you say "Miss Goody Two-Shoes?"

egan said...

Can you teach me a thing or two about this? I've never...

meno said...

MOI, you are not a dipstick! As bob says below, it's a water pipe, usually a long tubular affair. No hash for this girl, probably because none of us had any money.

bob, i hope blogger is not being weird. I enjoyed the pot too, some of the time, but not as much as i pretended to.

nancy, yeah, sometimes people, usually boys, would drink the water and claim it got them high. I dunno because i never drank any. Well, except this time.

h, oooh, were you a groupie? I'll have to check out Bongwater! Thanks for the info.

joan, i was just sheepishly following the crowd. Baaaa.

egan well grasshopper (grass, get it?) I never inhaled, so i can still be president. :)

Mother of Invention said...

Well, I learned something today! I've never seen it used and can't fully understand how it works...that's okay, I can't "see" anything in architects' plans either until I can walk in it!

Susanne said...

Funny story, and gross, and, BEER in a bong? Yuck. (And you could have drunk it.) I was strictly anti-drugs and alcohol until I turned 19, then tried alcohol and liked it. Did try pot at 28 or so, smoked it semi-regular, stopped when I became pregnant (fortunately before I knew I was pregnant, there is something to be said for morning sickness), and found that when I tried it again after breastfeeding it did nothing anymore. So I'm happy to leave it alone. I really hate to do things that are illegal.

Omar Cruz said...

These articles are fantastic; the information you show us is interesting for everybody and is really good written. It’s just great!! Do you want to know something more? Read it...: Head Shop, Herbal Grinders ,
Bongs, Glass Pipe. Visit us for more info at: http://www.headshopinternational.com/