Monday, February 12, 2007

You love me? Prove it.

I was watching the Grammy Awards last night with the Mister, although i missed the end as it's past my bedtime, and the ads for Valentine's Day were relentless.

Most of these ads are aimed at getting men to buy shit for women. I was feeling the Mister becoming uncomfortable beside me. Is he expected to get me a diamond? Or chocolate?

I'd be pissed if he bought me diamonds, although chocolate...... never mind. I resent these ads. If Valentine's Day isn't a hyped up way to get us consumers to spend money, then i am a short Asian man. It's as offensive as the Christmas ads.

I need a Bah! Humbug! expression for VD.

I am sorry that the Mister feels pressured. I don't want him to buy me a present because Ben Bridge or Sees says he must. Fuck that. That's what i told him. He washed my car, filled it up with gas and bought me the new Patty Griffin album this weekend while i wallowed at home with a head cold.

That's true love. No diamonds necessary.

37 comments:

Lynn said...

I'm with you on this one! I don't need: diamonds, chocolates, or flowers. Just give me one afternoon when I can just sit and read a book or watch a mushy movie without being interrupted...Now that would spell "love" to me.

Joan said...

You have one sweety of a husband...he has no need to prove himself. My husband buys me flowers because "it's Tuesday," not because some holiday on a calendar tells him he should. I think we are both very lucky women.

Sanjay said...

I hear ya. *A* will not want me to get her anything for Valentine's. She feels the same way about it as you do. And I feel relieved sorta.

Mona Buonanotte said...

I would also be pissed if my husband got me diamonds. I'd much rather make a car payment with it, or reshingle the house.

I think that's one reason he married me....

biodtl said...

I wrote and entry on this last valentines day after hearing 8,473,296 ads for a bunch of shit I don't want. I don't want anything at all, but if I did it would NOT be expensive jewelry, over-priced roses, skanky, uncomfortable lingire (that the men can go pick out at the stores 'lingire show', aka look at hot babes in skankware and convinve yourself you're doing it for your wife), and especially - a vermont teddy bear!

amusing said...

I'm appalled by the "men buy this stuff" ads because there are no "women, buy this stuff for your man" equal time ads -- but let's also be appalled by the women out there who will have a rant or a fuming pout, if he doesn't "do the right thing" for them on Valentine's Day. How many woman are giddily telling their friends they are just sure he's going to propose (when he has no intention). TO many crazy woman make this day a be all and end all for themselves and some imagined EXTERNAL definition of love -- i.e. Stuff equals Love. They need an intervention and then maybe we can reclaim the holiday as just a silly, fun, sentimental thing, no do-or-die declarations required.

Bob said...

nice to hear it from the female side.

I really get tired of ads that tell me that the utmost expression of my love is a purchase of diamonds. what the hell has money got to do with love?

Bob said...

I forgot to mention that my wife told me not to get her anything for valentine's day - she wasn't going to get me anything.

fine by me. she gives me the gift of herself everyday. there's no way a box of chocolate can express that.

Susanne said...

I'm really relieved to hear that too. Even here in Germany Valentine's Day has started to become omnipresent. And men are starting to get the message that they need to buy stuff to prove their love. Ick!

Maggie said...

Oh my god. Him washing your car is true love. And he filled it with gas. See I love those kinds of things so much more than a box of chocolates whose only lasting power is on my hips. Diamonds, where the hell would I wear those? I'm with you. And I'm pretty sure, even though I've never actually seen you, that you are not a short asian man.

amusing said...

"I need a Bah!Humbug! expression for VD."

That would be: "Crap. The test results are in and I've got gonorreah!"

sari said...

Amen, sister!

Nancy Dancehall said...

The closest we have out here to a 'ladies, buy something for you man' ad is for a girly adult store. One woman asks her friend what she should buy for her husband. The friend lists 'naughty videos, lingerie, oils,' etc. The other woman decides she's going to go shop there, 'and might even buy something for him.'
So, I guess the message is still, 'get something for her, even if you're the her in question'.

caro said...

It's funny because I was talking to a good friend of mine and she is the exact opposite : her man better get her something or else...
I have never understood that kind of mentality; we don't even exchange gifts on X-mas day! This week-end, during one of those awful family dinners at my Dad's, L.P raised his glass and said: here's to Caro for finishing her massage therapy training. I'm real proud of her. That to me, is true love... Better than diamonds or chocolate!

Tink said...

I hate VD! The holiday, not the disease. Although I'm pretty sure I'd hate that too. But not as much as Hallmark's fall-back-holiday, Sweetest Day. Ya know, just in case your dude missed spending his money on crap the first time around.

meno said...

lynn, that is much more in line with what we really want.

joan, he is a sweety. :) Flowers for Tuesday are the best.

sanjay, sorta? I'd be big time relieved if it were me. I think i like your *A*.

mona, exactly, things that would really make life bettter, not just shinier.

biodtl, i guess bottom line is that i don't like being told what to do, especially by companies with a vested interest in my money.

amusing, it is appalling. I see evidence of these woman you talk about on TV, but i don't actually know any. Thank God. I like your VD expression! :)

meno said...

bob, that was sweet. Those ads really are revolting. Talk about pressure. What i'm saying is feel free to ignore them.

susanne, that's too bad. I guess we just love to export our cultural trash, especially if it sells stuff.

maggie, exactly, something i really appreciated. It's true, i am not, in fact, a short Asian man.

sari, i read in the paper yesterday that there is starting to be a VD backlash. Cool!

nancy, wow. That makes women look like a bunch of selfish bitches.

caro, i just can see enjoying a present that was given at the point of a gun (so to speak). We don't really do gifts on expected days either. Your LP sounds sweet.

tink, yeah, i hate it too, i mean the holiday. Sweetest Day? Have i missed a card buying opportunity. I don't think i've ever heard of that. Do far...

Holly Capote said...

Meno, if you weren't already married AND straight, I'd propose to you and promptly proceed to fill your car AND ignore V-Day.

I too am irked by the "Buy! Buy now!"

And, of course, I wouldn't want black folks in Africa fetching diamonds for me or any other white woman.

I have a friend who pants, drools, and wags her tail come every holiday when her husband is supposed to buy something for her. And then when he does, she proceeds to tell everyone what he purchased as proof of his love. The only thing his purchases prove to me is that he was watching tv.

egan said...

Try playing a soccer game tomorrow night. Oh the guilt for just playing a soccer game is overwhelming too.

I loathe those ads. No diamonds for anyone. How about some Egan Love instead?

You can't fool me Meno, you're Asian and a man. Nice try though.

Thailand Gal said...

I couldn't agree more! Sometimes that stuff really gets on my nerves and I try to tune it out.

Glad you appreciate the Mister for the things he does, not some fantasy. :)


Peace,

~Chani

DDM said...

Amen sista! I picked up a card at Target today for my husband. When she scanned it in the checkout, $6.99 popped up on the screen. WHAT?? I asked her to return it. I came home, pulled out a notecard and kissed a big red lipstick'ed mouth on it. Ridiculous!

platypus said...

That's really sweet. I'm glad you see it that way and it's nice that you told him. It's not as bad over here but every year the hype ramps up a bit more. I intend to pretend it's not happening - until some git has two dozen red roses delivered to the office...

Sally Forth said...

Amen.

liv said...

VD---ha! Every time I see that makes me think of catching something...

Nicest Valentine ever was having my car detailed. I'm with you sister. It just all seems a bit silly.

QT said...

I don't need a diamond or flowers, but I do like to celebrate Valentine's Day by doing something special as a couple, and it doesn't HAVE to be on February 14th. I think there are plenty of things you can do to show your love and appreciation of each other that don't cost a lot of money, like what the Mister did for you.

Mother of Invention said...

I still get him a card, bake some fav sweet like brownies or cookies, and I may get a massage from him..but it's the everyday things that count most. My husband does tons more things for me than I do for him...well, I did bake cookies to give his students in his massage therapy class! And a poem I'm posting.

AC said...

Mister AC is so grateful I bought tickets to Tommy Emmanuel for Friday and have made dinner reservations AND that I told him that was the VD present for both of us. Those beer commercials during the Super Bowl were giving him more ideas I think than diamond ones.

meno said...

meno, sorry, i chose to be straight a long time ago. You know, because it is a choice, right? (HA!) I just couldn't feel good about begging for attention like your friend.

egan, you have 364 other nights to show your sweetie that you love her. My husband will be awfully surprised to fine out that i'm a short Asian man.

chani, i want real love, not love purchased from Zales. Ick. Like you said a while ago, love is a behavior.

ddm, i bet he'll like your card better anyway. $7.00? That's absurd.

platypus, just you wait over there, it's a coming. Sorry.

sally, yeah baby!

liv, a clean car says love. Remember that guys, and girls.

qt, nothing wrong with doing something special, it just doesn't have to be from a store.

MOI, those are the kinds of things that really show some love. And cost little or no $.

ac, have a great time at the concert. A great present that you can do together. Yes!

egan said...

I bet he will be surprised. How did the big reveal go? 364 nights is right. Or there's always the morning.

Holly Capote said...

meno, you think that I am you. That's an interesting error up there. Now, maybe I am you. Maybe Holly Capote is your alter-ego and you feign me when you sleeptype.

Well, if I'm a wedge of you, then I'm a lucky lass, since any slice of you has got to be sweet.

D_Man said...

Testify!

meno said...

egan, he took it pretty well. You know, tears and cursing and throwing of pottery.

holly-meno, hmmmm, must have been that glass of wine. :)

d-man, in the highest court in the land.

Holly Capote said...

Hey, Meno,

I just posted at Egan's blog. I don't visit many blogs, but I'm willing to read someone who reads you: it shows they have good taste. Plus, I love bloggers who respond to their readers. It feels like bad form to ignore replies.

Your alter-ego,

Holly-meno

mrschili said...

WAIT! Patty Griffin has a new album! I'm headed to iTunes as soon as I hit "submit"!

I agree - VDay is just a big old excuse for commercialism. I also agree about the chocolate, though - that's NEVER a bad idea.

My husband loves me a little bit every day, too. He pumps gas when it's stupid cold outside. He rounds up the girls and does "scrounge nights" when I can't be bothered to cook dinner. He saves extra-crispy chocolate chip pancakes for me when I come home from work on Sunday mornings. We don't need a special day. I'm glad you have that, too.

shara said...

True love is pretty much indifferent to calendars, I think. And is a gift a gift if it's coerced? I never thought so. Happy honey-buy-me-something day. I'm bah humbugging right along with you. Love gets you tissues or puts up with your complaints, and then suddenly, bends you over the kitchen table and. Well. Curtains start fluttering, you know how it goes. Or love comes and sits purring on your lap just as the sun comes in, through the curtains hung on rods just a little too high, but the help was appreciated just the same. I can buy my own chocolate.

meno said...

holly, you are in a chatty mood! I am glad. I wonder where you are when you don't stop by. Egan's pretty cool. And he always answers, which i think is essential too.

mrs.chili, yes she does!!! And i am going to see her, again, in concert next month. Yay! I think in any team that's worth being part of, you both take care of each other in ways that you can.

shara, nice images. I too can but my own chocolate, although i mostly don't or i'll eat it. :)

Holly Capote said...

Yeah, I am chatty. When I don't post, it's usually because I'm on the road, promoting or performing. So, if I'm not here in MenoLand, it's not because I don't want to be. It's just because I have folks (literally) tugging at me sleeves.