Saturday, September 22, 2007

Mousenannegans


Last night, as i was almost asleep, a loud cry rent the air, followed by much sobbing. The Mister was still downstairs, so i pulled the pillow over my head and hoped that he could deal with whatever disaster had befallen Em. But alas, it was not to be. A sobbing Em, proclaiming herself to be the worst person in the world, soon found her way up to my bedside.

Em recently acquired two pet mice. We have three cats. Em left the cage open. You get the picture.

One corpse was located immediately, but the other could not be found. We decided to let our noses be our guide over the next few days.


We don't know which of the felines is the guilty party, but i have my suspicions as Brown Cat was strumming a guitar and singing this song:

Love to eat them mousies,
Mousies what I love to eat.
Bite they tiny heads off,
Nibble on they tiny feet. *

I tried to calm Em while hiding my amusement, as these particular mice had originally been purchased as "feeder mice" for a snake. The tale of their stay of execution is long and boring, so never mind.

Em eventually went off to bed, still crying. The Mister and i chuckled a bit, whilst grumbling about the noise level in the house.

This morning, Em picked up her school book bag and found one very traumatized but unhurt mouse underneath. This afternoon we went to the pet store to buy a new mouse, as they do better in pairs. The lady at the pet store asked, "Friend or food?" It seems that if the mouse is to be a friend, there is a 15 day guarantee, otherwise, not. I found that to be most amusing.


*B. Kliban

39 comments:

Mrs. Chili said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! "Friend or food." Well, I suppose that depends on who you're askin' now, doesn't it? I'm betting Greco's answer is different from Em's...

You are TOO funny...

Dick said...

That was good to read. I think experiences like that happen during the growing up years for all kids. It just goes to show that life is better when you are on the top of the food chain. We can deal with Safeway for our food & don't ever have to kill anything.

deb said...

Thank you for making me laugh and I'm shaking my head.

liv said...

My favorite part is envisioning Greco at the guitar singing. To hell with mice, I think whatever brings on a song is good.

TTQ said...

keep the mousies in a hamster ball and it will be fun for all the cats...safely. Win Win?

meno said...

mrs. chili, *snort* i bet it is!

dick, she will not leave the cage open again i think. Unless she does. It's good to have other people to kill my meat for me, i haven't the stomach for it.

deb, glad to help my dear.

liv, he would so sing that song too, if he spoke English.

ttq, might be fun until the ball arrived at the top of the stairs. We had a hamster for a while, and the hamster ball was great fun. Now we might have to get a mouse ball. :)

amusing said...

wow. A kliban flashback. The biology teacher I had a crush on in college had that hanging on the wall of his office....

flutter said...

You kill me.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I remember when Em got the mice, standing behind a snake guy on the pet store line.

How delightful to hear the Kliban cat song again. I'm sure that Greco is your villainous slaughterer of innocent mousies. You can't trust guitar players.

I hope the new catfood, er pet, does well.

mcewen said...

So she didn't ask male or female?

I suspect that in a couple of weeks you'll be supplying the Pet store.

Cheers

SUEB0B said...

My sis and I used to sing that song ALL the time. Love me some B. Kliban.

Sarah said...

Poor Em! *snicker*

And that Kliban flashback made me get off of Bloglines and come comment. I LOVED his books when I was a kid, and I still sing that song every so often to the confused and bemused looks of my husband and daughter, neither of whom know the books.

I'm going to have to see if I can find them online somewhere.

jen said...

i had an unfortunate series of incidents as a child with 2 mice, 2 hamsters and a rat.

all of which also included a dog, and a wailing pre-teen (me)

meno said...

amusing, i like being responsible for flaskbacks.

flutter, i hope that's a good thing because it sounds rather drastic. :)

hearts, Em was asking what we should do if the new mouse doesn't get along with the old mouse. I replied, "here kitty kitty kitty." She scowled at me.

mcewen, no worries, they are segregated by sex at the shop. We have two ladies, i hope.

suebob, me too! My mom used to think i was nuts. Maybe she still does.

sarah, i know, it's hard not to laugh at her. It's good to know that all it tales to get you off bloglines is a Kliban quote. We still have the books somewhere.

jen, yes, that is the way of things with small rodents and larger carnivores.

Schmoopie said...

When my younger brother was 6 years old, his mother went to sleep on the couch for an afternoon siesta and unbeknownst to her, Lou had left his mouse cage open and the critter was out. Well...she is a very large woman and apparently didn't feel the poor thing struggling underneath her. While my father tried to console Lou, we couldn't help but shake our heads at the situation. (It was one of many crappy things that happened to Lou during his childhood.)

ms chica said...

*snicker*. Hysterical. Well, except for Em's tender heart and the sacrificial virgin. Now I hardly care it is almost 3AM and I'm still awake.

Nancy Dancehall said...

*snort* Kliban. You are my hero.

'Friend or food' made my day. I think more friends need a 15 day guarantee. Food, well, no.

My Reflecting Pool said...

hehehe. awwww, your poor Em. A 15 day guarantee isn't too bad. Especially when the owner forgets to shut the cage. :)

sari said...

friend or food makes me laugh as well.

I'm glad one could at least be saved, and that it has a friend.

Irrelephant said...

Meno, never trust shops who promise that their stock is sexually separated. When this whole chicken thing started we were assured at our supplying co-op that the day-old chicks they sold were separated by sex, the roosters being MUCH cheaper. Reassured, Mrs. I bought home fifteen hens. What do we own three weeks later? Fourteen hens and one very astonished rooster who is thanking his lucky stars every day.

Scott from Oregon said...

eek!

capacious said...

Our cats are outdoor cats and they're always killing some poor thing. My husband has decided that chipmunks do not deserve to die and if he ever spots them torturing a chipmunk, he intervenes. Chippies ARE cute, but I don't really think moles are that much LESS cute. Or mice. Or baby birds.

Our cats are always singing that song too, except one strums and the other plays the piano.

urban-urchin said...

I love that song, and I think I lover that woman at the pet store.

Lynn said...

Oh my, I haven't thought of that song in a long, long time. Poor, poor Em having to once again learn that there are consequences for our actions (or inaction in this case). Thank goodness she still has you to come crying to.

meno said...

schmoopie, oh no! squashed is an ignominious way to go. Poor Lou.

ms. chica, i am glad i could help ease the pain of insomnia.

nancy, i want my friends to have more than 15 days, maybe 15 months.

my pool, i know, she was so sad and guilty.

sari, they seem to bet getting on well. That's something.

irrelephant, YOU SHUT UP! I am sending you the extras, should such a thing occur.

scott, squeak!

capacious, i know, it's a constant stream of dead things at our house. You have some talented kitties.

u-u, i love it too. But she was dead serious, no sense of irony there.

lynn, she feels really terrible. Is it okay that a critter died to teach her something?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I once worked in a pet store in MA. One day, a little tyke brought in a shoe box and explained to the manager that one of the mousies his mommy had bought him the day before had died.

The manager, a brash young weight lifter, squatted down until he was eye to eye with the little boy.

"Tell your mommy that the mousie died because the other mousie porked it too much," he said.

Sally Forth said...

I'll chime in with everyone else, I love that ditty. And I think I have a new question to ask for every new acquaintance now.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Ah, poor Em. I'm sure one day this will make a terrific story for her to tell.

Lynn said...

I think that maybe it was the mouses time to die, (if it was originally bred as food, it's quite possible that it was genetically predisposed to have a short life anyway). Em had a lesson to learn. The universe put them both together...Didn't you recently write about the Circle of Life? I think that this was all part of it. It doesn't make it any less traumatic, or sad. The good news is that it had some lovin' from Em during it's short life.

Nancy Dancehall said...

P.S. Where did you get your ME too button?

WNG said...

Whenever I talk to Mama G these days it seems that I learn of another incident from my youth when I thought my parents were furious with me or when I was broken up over something and they were laughing at me!!! One of these days you and Em are going to have a chuckle over this:)

Mamalujo said...

I'm wondering how long the 11 year old's new naked rat survives in our household; two dogs and two cats. Lessons will be learned.

QT said...

What can I say? This made me laugh and laugh, especially the song. We have all kinds o' vermin scampering around here right now cuz the wind is a starting to blow. Too bad I can't send them your way.

My cat is too lazy to strum the guitar, but I think she hums along under her breath.

Tink said...

I once lived with a couple that owned a Savannah Monitor. The lizard was huge and MEAN. Most of the time they starved it. So of course when they got around to feeding it, it over-ate and ended up puking back up the little mice... FURLESS. So one day I felt sorry for one of the mice and decided to rescue it. I armed myself with tongs and a ladle and scooped it out just in time. Then I bought it a cage and named it Lucky. Lucky lived for two weeks before my roommates got mad at me and fed it to the lizard anyway...

Franki said...

Hilarious! I'm definitely asking "Friend or food?" next time I'm at a bar and some guy too boldly introduces himself to me!

meno said...

hearts, but what a way to go! *snicker*

sally, it would be a good thing to know about a new person, friend or food.

mona, we are already telling the story.

lynn, exactly, it lived longer than it would have if it were fed to the snake.

nancy, i stole it from one of mrs. chili's posts, with her permission.

wng, we are already laughing at this. I think the experience at the pet store helped.

mamalujo, not long i would wager.

tink, oh how mean of them! After you went to all that trouble.

franki, good idea. If i ever go to a bar again, i will do the same.

crazymumma said...

oh Em.

thank you for giving me a picture of my life 5 years hence.

Jef said...

Hilarious!

Susanne said...

LOL.