Friday, November 30, 2007

Fearless woman, dives eagerly into new adventures.

Man, a lot of the bloggers i read are in a mood lately. Me too, but i'm not going to talk about it, because i know it's partly the dark and the time of year. This too shall pass.

I have realized recently that i need to get some more things going in my life because next year Em will be gone, and i will miss her, and her company, and i will be alone even more than i am now.

I like being alone, but not all the time.

So i have my net out for things. Today i might have joined a book group. A women's book group. This is amusing for two reasons;

1) I don't like to talk about books i have read, unless i don't like them. The more i like a book, the less i like to talk about it. I'll just have to hope they pick books i hate.

2) (This sounds so awful, but it's true) I usually don't like groups of women, especially if they are earnest women. I find myself bored all to hell by earnestness. I like a little smart-assedness (is too a word) with my conversation. Sometimes it seems that women are too fucking concerned with convincing each other how nice they are. Yawn.

See what a great attitude i will be taking into this venture with me?

48 comments:

LazyLazyMe said...

See a book club sounds fun but is in reality wank. No one knows anything.

So I would turn to education. Signing up for a year or two of English is a far better use of your time.

thailandchani said...

Oh, I completely understand what you mean though. Lately, I've been trying to convince myself that I should (dangerous word, that) get involved in something because I'm alone too often with the exception of my house mates, both of whom are climbing on my last nerve.

At the same time, I'm just not a joiner... don't like groups and.. well... I hear you!

For a good book, try "Pillars of the Earth". I just finished it last night and it was wonderful!

If you want it, send me a note offlist and I'll ship it to you.

Franki said...

Oh book clubs are Pure Hell. I don't have enough time to read as it is much less have to read some crap someone else chooses.

Irrelephant said...

HAH! More power to you, dear lady! And if it helps you feel any more normal (*guffaw*) know that I usually cannot STAND the company of other men. Beats me why but I've always enjoyed the company of women far more than men.

Heck, me own sainted Mum was a woman.

meno said...

lazy, since English is my second language, that's probably a good idea.

chani, you and me both. But my quilting group had turned out to be fun. Of course, there are only 4 of us.

franki, i am sure you will turn out to be right. But i will force myself to not make assumptions and give it a try. Maybe there will be things of which to make fun.

irrelephant, yeah, groups of men are odd also. Guess it all depends on the people. But my dad is a man, just like your mom was a woman. See how much we have in common?

Dick said...

I'd join a group just because I was interested in their "mission" and they can be a good use of time. You might also volunteer at your local hospital or school.

It was a women's group, the Red Hatter chapter my Annie started, that got Pat & I together so I guess I kind of have a soft spot in my heart for women's clubs. Although there are all different kinds.....

Joan said...

It can be tough surviving "empty nest syndrome" but I'm not sure I'd subject myself to a women's book club as a solution. Nope...especially not with women who take themselves and their opinions far too seriously.

flutter said...

I am so lucky that my cubemate is one of the biggest smartasses alive.

We pick on each other and call each other horrible names all day long and laugh ourselves silly.

I love her.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I am not a joiner of groups either. I do belong to a support group for fibromyalgia but hate the meetings, although the other women are mostly nice, (I mean, convincingly fucking nice, excuse me) because they are so involved with their disease that it defines them.

Like you, I love to read but hate discussing books. I always dreaded book reports in school because it didn't seem right to dissect a work of art in that way.

If you start a group of smart asses, though, I'll join.

Mrs. Chili said...

Babe, I SO wish you didn't live on the other side of the country from me. We'd get along SOOOO well! We'd form the Smart-Assed Women's Book Club and it'd be great!

Lynn said...

I don't like to be in book clubs because I never have the same perception of the book as the other people...and we just know who's perception is spot on...mine of course. (but because I don't want them to all hate me, I end up keeping my mouth shut) sigh

I've also found that when groups of women get together, they often start talking about inanities. yawn!

Maggie said...

First off, I see I need to stop being so damned nice to you when we communicate. A little 'assedness' goes a long way.
Second, maybe if the book group does prove to be a bore or hell (I'm not saying it will, but if it does) you could bring a couple bottles of wine or your imbibe of choice and that would liven things up. I'm all for promoting drinking to lighten the mood...

QT said...

I think you should join a bowling league - tons of smart-assedness available.

Gordo The Geek said...

I'm with irrelephant: groups of women or a mix.

I can't stand the thought of book clubs because they sound too much like the parts of high school English class that I despised: analyzing and picking apart a book that I may have loved. Ugh.

My Reflecting Pool said...

I found book clubs to be more about escaping the house and drinking. Hopefully, yours will be what you are looking for and less about the books.

meno said...

dick, i do volunteer, at two different places. I got no more volunteer left in me.

joan, but maybe they will be a fun group. Don't you think i should try it and find out?

flutter, you are lucky. I was in a 4 cube once, with the buggest smartasses you can imagine, It was heaven.

hearts, yeah, they are all nicer than me, guarenteed. We need a secret smart ass handshake.

mrs. chili, i know, so far away....

lynn, i promise i won't be nice. I hate many books that other people loved. I knoe about the inanities, god i hate them.

maggie, i was hoping that they will be drinkers. That would help immensely.

qt, bowling? That might work. Plus i KNOW they all drink.

gordo, i hate to talk about a book i loved. I just want to love it, not analize.

Mignon said...

I was approached about a book club last week and gave a very non-committal "uh, sure" for the exact two reasons you gave.

However, my last experience with a book club was really pretty fun: the book sucked and the group was sufficiently ignorant, excessively religious and goody-goody to make for excellent stories afterwards. My smart-ass, atheist, blasphemous friends loved it. So perhaps it'll be blog fodder?

Cagey said...

Oh my God. You finally hit the nail on the head for me regarding "earnest". I have never been able to adequately describe why it is that "nice" people sometimes grate on my nerves. Now, I know how to phrase it.

I do like book clubs but the best ones are those chock full of Unapologetic Women. I have been in some clubs where everyone politely nods. At those clubs, it is all I can do to not fall asleep and out of my chair. YAWN. I belonged to another club where every single meeting had me leaving a little pissed off. But I kept going anyway because every single meeting also had me THINKING.

Sienna said...

Meno.....excuse me for what I'm about to say.....

Fuck the book club!

August 25th to September 5th 08...ish.... I'm doing this:

http://www.fraserisland.net/

this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitsundays

and:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarborough,_Queensland

Plus, if u can, come a week earlier and I will take you to my favorite mountains: (climb/hike/gasp at rugged beauty):

http://www.visitgrampians.com.au/?id=vibrantvillageintheh

and..

http://www.chockstone.org/Arapiles/Arapiles.htm

If you can just get here, virtually little cost once here, immediately above is all free stuff, and in my backyard.

The coastal and island stuff is part work related for me but mostly minimal costing apart from food, drink and anything that grabs your fancy.

At least two other Americans coming, mother and daughter from near San Francisco, she is fun! sings like Patty Griffin (I kid u not).

Come on over, they can do without you for 10 or 20 days.

I know SFO airport is approx $1400 return to say Melbourne or Sydney/Brisbane...about a 16 hrish flight

Anyway, have a think...it's just fun, beautiful nature and some nice people (that perhaps swear a little too much :) )

Pam

Sienna said...

I keep forgetting to drop this off, it's a link to a photo-image hosting site called photobucket, I am gradually storing short movie film and my photos there so as not to crash my computer...(and I'm hopeless at filing/storing discs)

On this link I've got Jack the orphan kangaroo joey, (his Mum was hit and killed by a car, he left to die)

http://s239.photobucket.com/albums/ff102/zorber8/Harvest%202007/

oh some grampians pics:

http://s239.photobucket.com/albums/ff102/zorber8/Grampian%20Gariwerd%20National%20Park/

Scott from Oregon said...

Unlike Mr. Irrelephant, I usually can't stand the company of women. The company of "woman" is grand, but man, put them all in a room and they get way too earnest.

AC said...

The book club I joined had the rule of books only written by women. Then one member wanted to read Davita's Harp by Chaim Potok and *we* took TWO meetings to discuss the appropriateness of reading a book by a man. About a woman. The NERVE!

I joined this club when newly divorced and it met on one of my daughter's visitation with her dad nights. I was in the mood to hate at least ONE man, but not all of them (all of them were married too). This group was concerned with how superior they were - I would have preferred nice.

I read the book but the club did not. However, the desserts served each month were quite good. I think I lasted about 6 books.

I totally understand your feelings about aloneness. and smartyness.

fiwa said...

You'll have to let us know how it goes. My one and only experience with a book club a few years back was...uh...well, they chose a romance novel as the first book. That's all I'm gonna say.

Maybe if you start out with low expectations, it will be better than you think.

peevish said...

Every group needs a Bitch. You could fill a need! (you realize this is meant lovingly, one bitch to another.)

Nancy Dancehall said...

You could turn the book club into a drinking game. Get together and read a passage aloud, and every time you read a certain word you take a drink. Depending on the group it could be the word 'obsequious' or perhaps 'the'.

Take a class too. I've met some awesome people. And had fun bitching about a few others. I'm not nice.

furiousBall said...

so the group of woman bookreaders discussion group meeting should be canceled? this week's topic was "books that you really, really liked"

Popeye said...

It is good to be sarcastic among the earnest. . .

Jennifer said...

I've tried, too. On a positive note, most of the books the two groups I half-assed joined were horrendous.

All I can say by way of advice is good luck to you.

Mother of Invention said...

All you can do is try it. The one book club I know is a group of really funky, intelligent, confident, interesting babes who get together and chat about life, a little of "whine and wine" and then get around to the book. Sure, they are probably all nice people, but they don't need to prove it, they are at one with who they are...a few are artists, a teacher, a musician and a few are rather feisty so it makes for good entertaining conversation!

It all depends on the group. I'm sure you'd find some like-minded people in this group who would be just so appreciating you as a unique person to add to their interesting dynamics.

And as someone else said, the wine and desserts can always make it more palateable! (SP? oh, just send me to the spelling club!)

Maddy said...

I joined the 'whodunnit' book club at the library which was great because it was all old people with lots of time and my little ancient bod was treated with grandparently kindness.
Cheers

luckyzmom said...

Well, it is possible that you could like it and if you don't try it you will never know.

I went to a bookclub meeting once while visiting someone in another city because they were discussing one of my favorite books. There was a little serious discussion about the book. It seemed to my that no one wanted to delve too deeply. Me, I love deep. It seemed to me that the real purpose of the meeting was to get away from the kids and husbands for awhile, snack on a little something and visit.

I never understood how anyone could analyze what the author was thinking when he/she wrote unless the author had said so.

meno said...

pam, god, Frazier Island looks so fucking beautiful, as do the other places. I'd drop the book club in a NY minute to do this. I will keep it in mind. If all that is in your backyard, you are a lucky woman. The videos are cute. The kangaroo is adorable.

scott, i'd have to say that groups of any sex are really not my thing.

ac, ha ha. I love that ot took two meetings to discuss this "violation" of the rules. That's pretty earnest.

fiwa, maybe this one will chosse a romanco book and we can act out the sex scenes!!!! Okay, maybe not.

peevish, I am too grievously offended to reply. Must go drink some Prosecco to soothe my feelings.

nancy, classes are cool, but if i ever have to take another class for actual credit, i may shoot myself. I like the drinking game idea.

furiousball, heh heh. You are evil!

popeye, it's apparently my role in life.

jennifer, if they choose any feel-good-chick books, i'm outta there.

moi, that's why i am going to do it. If i don't try, i'll never know. i can't spell either.

maddy, that would be a fun group. I love a good whodunnit.

luckyzmom, i agree, so try it i will. Let's talk about the meaning of the smell of fresh paint in Crime and Punushment.

pat said...

about the book club..I hate them because if i like a book, then everyone else should to or theres something fuckin wrong with them. And I don't want to meet with people who want to argue about it...About the empty nest thing..it is hard but amazingly has some good things to. I am in 2nd year now since my one and only went off to college. Its quiet being alone, but theres some real all about me time too. Lots of long phone calls to college, but i am now back in control of the remote, the dvd choices on netflix, and i can eat cereal for dinner! You just have to remind yourself how great a time they are having in college, and it will make you happy for them , not sad.

deb said...

I started up a book club a year and a half ago for the same reason. We talk about books, briefly, but then we talk about everything else under the sun. We eat, drink wine, support each other, tell horrendously rude jokes (that's just me really), and generally have a good time.

We went to see the Jane Austen Book Club movie awhile ago and when we came out of the theatre, one of the women says "We're not that kind of a book club, are we?' I told her not to worry, we did not have to dissect the characters of the books or their motives.

Hopefully, you'll have a good time.

Sober Briquette said...

It all depends on the people in the club and how serious it is. I like to read the book and then go and talk about... whatever.

Since I've just come from watching The Waltons on the Hallmark channel while ironing, I'm sure I don't know what you mean by earnest women.

crazymumma said...

You would love hanging out with me and my homies. We are an irreverant bunch who love to dance the night away.

urban-urchin said...

people who are too chipper really piss me off. there are a couple at work that i want to stab in the eye when they get started with their fucking andy rooney, judy garland, "let's do this gang!" bit. so yeah, i'm right there with you...

Princess in Galoshes said...

Hi. I like books. I like book clubs. I just started one to read classics with a really intelligent group of women. I realize I'm in the minority, here.

A lot of it depends on the attitude you go into it with. I really dislike the book groups that dissolve into gossip sessions and excuses to drink overpriced wine.

I think you can get a lot out of a discussion about a book, if the other people in the group a) really read it b) really think about it. I was an English major, but I inevitably miss so much in any book I read. I don't think it's because I'm not paying attention, I just think everyone has life experiences that form the way they respond to information, and it can really be insightful to hear all the different things that other people find in the same book.

Give it a chance, Meno. It could be a really good, stimulating experience.

amusing said...

It could be fun -- it could be one thing one week, another thing another week (month?).

The last one I belonged to evolved into a support group for Irish-Catholic daughters of alcoholic fathers (I do not qualify under any of those headers...)so another person and I assumed the roles of eye-rolling miscreants... We'd talk about the book, while the rest of them would find a way to relate it to their own childhood abuse, etc.

I think the groups with drinking games tend to be the most fun....

Mama P said...

Unfortuantely I'm one of those earnest women. I don't take myself too seriously, but I do love book clubs and stuff like that. Aaah, you'd hate me. Good thing I'm only online. I don't feel snark that way, huh?

Mama P said...

PS: I think you're softer than you care to admit or you wouldn't quilt, join a book club, or even blog. I like that about you. Now back to being sarcastic, ya hear!

liv said...

oh, i am such a bitch. a peevish, moody bitch. sarcastic, vitriolic, and bitter. that's why i'm like totally going to get together a rockingly fun girls' weekend and stuff. it'll be awesome. you should come if you're not at book club. smoochies.

Sienna said...

Oops! little clarification....the mountains are my direct backyard, the Queensland Coast and Islands (extending to Great Barrier Reef) are.... are.... well, way way back ...in my backyard. I've gotta fly up to Brisbane and take it from there (3 hr flight)....don't let that stop you mate!

Antonia said...

I agree with you on the groups of earnest, "nice" women. I just don't feel I fit in with them.

I count myself very, very, very lucky to be part of a social group of wrong-humoured, hilarious women who all feel the same way about tupperware and book clubs: we like to rent country houses for the weekend, put on fancy dress, beards and good music and just be stupid and relax. I recommend it.

meno said...

pat, i will be happy for Em, i will be glad she is gone, but i will miss her too. It's not all one feeling.

deb, these ladies meet at a library, so i imagine that there will be no wine, dammit!

de, i agree, it will depend on the women. The Walktons huh? That's the second mention of them in my comments recently. Must be a Christmas thing. :)

crazymumma, there we go, as long as we can dance the evening away and be home by 10.

u-u, god, that used to be so annoying when i worked. This is a job people, not a glee club.

princess, i am glad to hear that you like your group, and i promise you that i will attend this one with and open mind and a closed mouth. And if it doesn't work, i will try a different one.

amusing, eye-rolling miscreant! I can do that.

mamap, and you are not that earnest either, so there.

liv, i can feel the blackness from here. When? Where?

pam, it's all so damned beautiful. I'm thinking.

antonia, you know, i may not be the nice ine in any group, but i do make them laugh. I'm totally sure that they are not laughing at me, but with me. *going out to get a beard.*

Daphne said...

I can be polite but have no interest in spending my free time censoring myself.

I take my children to playgroup despite having grown out of the need to get out of the house at least for an hour or two once a week.

I go with girlfriends who are equally uncensored and I get the feeling that we scare the other women...we are mean in any way but I think that we're just so at ease that we aren't worried about impressing anyone.

Life is too short to be dull.

Good luck finding some new interests...maybe a cocktail making club?

Melanie said...

I also like a little bit of excitement and less "let me show you how kind I can be" salesmanship. I think its all too fake.

good books you can't talk about? interesting point. Maybe its just the wrong people you are talking about it to.

find something else to do then. do arts and crafts. learn how to throw pottery or become a race car driver!

Melanie said...

i think when I get old enough, i am going to become a detective. no one will suspect an over 50 woman to be a spy.

oh wait. angela landsbury. darn it.