Sunday, November 11, 2007

a small scene

The Mister and i were loitering at the appliance store yesterday waiting for a service person, when i heard a woman say "Hi Mister" to him. Seeing who it was, i suddenly became extremely interested in a display a few feet away. The Mister chatted with her for a few minutes, and i ignored them. After a while it was our turn so i said "hi" to her and we left the area.

It was a woman that used to work for us around the house. She bugged me because she would flirt with the Mister. When he wasn't around she would often bring him up to me by saying something like, "I know that the Mister likes ____" or "I know how ____ bothers the Mister." As if they were best friends.

I didn't not like it in a jealous way, since the Mister didn't flirt back, it was just stupid and i felt a vague sense of embarrassment for her.

Our next stop was lunch and i was telling the Mister that she annoyed me and why. He said that on his part, he felt as if she disliked him, and it was creepy to talk to her.

I don't see why we aren't both right. Flirting as aggression.

31 comments:

Marsha said...

Wow, that is really creepy. Wouldn't it be weird to get into her head and see the situation from her perspective, I often wonder just what the heck is going through people's minds sometimes.

Dick said...

It sounds to me like The Mister handled that one well. And he agrees with you although seeing her a little differently. I don't think I ever flirt with anyone but I do enjoy seeing an attractive woman. Of course most of them are attractive.

As to your beautiful story- YES! I saw on the TV news recently that the State Patrol is watching truckers more closely from their airplane and stopping with cars those they find breaking the law. Which as I see them on the freeway, is probably about 95% of them. 60mph does not mean 67 or more.

flutter said...

Ew. I don't think I like her.

Mrs. Chili said...

You ARE both right. Flirting IS a form of aggression - it's a power game, no matter what the romantics might say. You're right to feel unseated by it, and Mister is right to feel creeped out by it.

Joan said...

It is interesting to read how differently you and the Mister defined the interaction yet you both seem to have come to similar negative opinions of this woman. And "negatively" is just how this woman needs to be viewed.

Nancy Dancehall said...

Ew. That's icky. There is a time and place and proper reference for flirting, and that ain't it. Yuck.

P.S. Help me! I need kid advice! Come see.

ms chica said...

I don't see why flirting is even worth the effort if someone doesn't flirt back. It sounds like she was the type of person who felt powerful when she made people uncomfortable.

QT said...

I have to agree with ms. chica. And what fun is it anyway if the other person isn't interested?

Em said...

What an odd moment and scene. It would be interesting to know how it seems in her head...and interesting to know how she would feel if she knew how she was perceived.

Maggie said...

You know what else about it is weird? She addressed only the Mister first. I had visions of women in movies like fatal attraction. Or The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. As though she definitely wants something out of her interactions not only with him but you too. Evil creepy and manipulative.

crazymumma said...

to say Hi mister to him with you around is just so intimate without intimacy reciprocated. Strange woman.

Mother of Invention said...

It's funny and always interesting how people can feel and respond so differently to the same situation. Men are thick spmetimes and I find they don't always know when a babe is flirting or chasing!

thailandchani said...

I have never cared much for flirting, don't find it particularly amusing or cute. It would have annoyed me not because of any jealousy.. but just the presumptuousness of it.

meno said...

marsha, it would be weird to get into her head, but i can't imagine it would be pleasant.

dick, i only flirt with someone if i know that they know that there is NO WAY i am serious. You are sweet to say that most of us are attractive. I mostly agree with you.

flutter, yeah, she always struck me as a bit creepy.

mrs. chili, yeah, i think we are both relatively sensitive to the nuances of interaction.

joan, i thought that was fascinating too. It was fun to sit there and talk it over and realize that basically, we were both made uncomfortable by her.

nancy, it is icky. I'll be right over after this.

ms. chica, i think you have it. That's my sense of it too.

qt, that's why it's uncomfortable to watch, because she has such a different view.

em, it would be interesting. My guess is that she would totally be shocked and deny it.

maggie, Yes, she always did go straight for the Mister if he was around. I'm glad she's not around anymore.

crazymumma, strange is a good word. It's like WTF woman?

moi, oh he could tell, after a few minutes.

chani, i don't mind flirting, unless it makes anyone else uncomfortable. And there's a time and place for it too, not just anywhere.

Lynn said...

That woman is a bitch, in the true sense of the word!

TTQ said...

Nobody asked the most important question....

What kind of new appliance did you get?????

liv said...

That was totally weird. I would be skeeved out.

egan said...

Maybe she's a lonely person and The Mister was one of the few people to lend her a sympathetic ear? Just a thought.

Tink said...

Flirting as aggression huh? That's an interesting spin. You know, I used to work with a girl who flirted with our boss (OPENLY) as a way of "putting it to" me. I never understood it. But now it makes a little more sense.

Stucco said...

Schmoopie told me that before we were together I was a relentless and unabashed flirt, but I don't remember it quite that way. It wasn't as though I'd just up and spout off "Hey lady! Nice tits!" or such. Schmoop told me to knock it off, and I just stick to internet porn now (I mean- you KNOW the internet was invented by horny old men, right?), but your tale now has me reflecting on my "aggressive" past.

Then again, in the immortal words of Eddie Murphy in 48 Hours- "Lack of pussy makes you brave!". Amen.

sari said...

I'm glad you left her and at least got on to a good lunch!

Popeye said...

Eeeeeeeew.

My Reflecting Pool said...

Of course flirting as aggression! She used him to lessen your status and she used her flirting with him to gain a control position with him. She is a dangerous kind of woman.

Sienna said...

Meno, what if she was trying to impress you-through-Mister??

What if she was a little in awe of you; maybe envious of you and was vying for your attention but in a slightly offbeat crazy way? (I think I've thrown up this possibility from your husband saying, "he feeling she didn't like him, he felt creepy talking to her....")

Just brainstorming, she sounds a little sad. A little embarrassing alrighty.

Mama P said...

My husband gets flirted with a lot. In front of me. It only pisses me off when it crosses the line. That happened with a friend, once, and I put a stop to that right away.

capacious said...

There are so many layers to any interaction. In general, I believe instincts should be heeded.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

The mister defnitely handled that one with gracce - a lot of others would have choked - you've got nothing to worry about...

meno said...

lynn, you are a good friend!

ttq, nothing fun. We were just seeking one of the thirteen or so different weird light bulbs that our house requires.

liv, i wasn't skeeved, i wasn't even peeved. I was bemused.

egan, you are so sweet.

stucco, if two people are flirting, and both are into it, it's not agression, it's fun. Well, maybe except for the witnesses, who might be rolling their eyes.

sari, lunch WAS good.

popeye, yeah, i'm not a flirt, so i sort of look at people who do it inappropriately as if they were from Mars.

my pool, dangerous or disturbed. Or just odd.

pam, That might be a valid theory if it wasn't for my previous experience with her. Sad and embarrassing is more in line with what i felt.

mamap, i don't mind either, unless that line gets crossed. He's married, not dead. But in this case it was all one sided.

capacious, i have learned exactly that, to trust my instincts.

princess e, not worried, really jusr bemused and enjoying the different ways we viewed the interaction.

WNG said...

EW. ICK. UGH.
That's really all.

egan said...

No, you are!

luckyzmom said...

Velly interesting and thought provoking.....flirting as aggression.....hmmmm.