Wednesday, October 15, 2008

College Bound

The Mister and i are getting up at o'fuck thirty tomorrow morning and flying to Ohio to attend something known as "Family Weekend" at Em's college.

After having looked over the agenda i have broken the events down into three categories:

1.) Sessions telling parents how to butt the hell out while your child attends college and grows up.
2.) Sessions for soliciting money from parents, complete with opportunities to join committees. Wheeee. I LOVE committees!!!
3.) General foolishness; e.g. hot dog eating contests, choir concerts, campus tours, plays and arts-n-crafts exhibitions (I swear if i am asked to weave a lanyard out of cicada skins, i will explode!)

We received a "Welcome to the *insert name of institute of higher learning here* family". Excuse me? Did i go off to college with my kid? Yes, i realize it's a marketing ploy to make me feel all warm and fuzzy so that i will make free with my money. HA!

What we will probably do is skip all that, take Em away with us and spend the weekend eating good food and watching stupid movies. YEAH!

I took the kitties off to kitty jail this afternoon. They spent the entire drive loudly discussing their feelings and criticising my driving. I found this annoying because my driving really isn't that bad, plus i don't know how they could even tell from inside their carriers.

34 comments:

crazymumma said...

wine really stings when you snort it out of your nose.

thanks. and have fun.

Maggie said...

well you know cats, they think they know everything! Backseat drivers.

Have a great time and make sure you give Em plenty of noogies, wedgies and hugs. Oh and cookies. Lots of cookies.

flutter said...

o'fuck thirty LOL!

Princess in Galoshes said...

Ah- you're one of the GOOD kinds of moms. I told my parents just to stay home that weekend. ;-)

meno said...

crazymumma, ooooh, sorry about that! :)

maggie, there will be cookies.

flutter, yeah, too fuckin' early!

princess, she may tell us that after this first year.

egan said...

Yeah, what Maggie said about the cookies and noogies. Those are important. Have a fun time parting with your cookies and dollars.

Mona Buonanotte said...

I vote with you...ditch the silly college stuff and take Em out for food, movies, and tattoos. (I mean, why not? She's legal, right? And aren't you due for another tat?)

Sienna said...

I'm not fond of O'fuck earlies...you guys will have some fun and giggles tho'..
ciao mate

QT said...

This is gonna be fun. I can just tell...

Sober Briquette said...

have fun!

furiousBall said...

i say you go down there and show those college wussies how to really funnel a beer.

patches said...

I can't picture you sitting through a choir concert without a martini and a straightjacket. Have a good weekend.

Candy said...

My daughter's parent's weekend was the first weekend in September. She hadn't even finished unpacking yet! We took a pass. I'd rather go out when I start missing her. At that point I was still dancing around in her old bedroom.

Brad said...

And just think, you'll be hearing from that instutution of higher learning for the rest of your natural born days!

Cats are the worst critics...

Daisy said...

Liar.
You're going to hang out with Joe Plumber. Admit it.

(PS: I once picked penguins up and escorted them to their luxurious accommodations in midtown Manhattan. They also complained the whole time. Animals are just terrible backseat drivers, I think.)

fiwa said...

Have fun with Em. Tell the kitties to be grateful you didn't take them on the plane.

Mrs. Chili said...

I USED to say "oh-dark thirty" but I'm TOTALLY changing it to YOUR phrase. It's much more descriptive.

I say "ditch the lame-ass college activities and go do something fun." I work at a university that plans lame-ass activities for family weekend, so I know of what I speak.

tt said...

can't wait to read all about it. the drunken parties and weaving a what??? Yep...you're gonna have some fun! Good luck with that!

luckyzmom said...

Lost another great comment. It was very thought provoking:0)

Enjoy Em this weekend. I look forward to hearing all about it. And maybe some of your great pictures....

The Real Mother Hen said...

Have a good trip Meno, and give that pencil pusher teachers a hard time, will ya please? :)

Imez said...

I remember my one drive with my car in a carrier. She's never vocal but that time it was like, "Hey? C'mon. Hey? Wrong. This is wrong. Unnatural. Not want. Hey?"

You are going to be sad all over again when you leave her. You know, I don't think I've ever met a parent who went to those things.

Diane Mandy said...

Enjoy your weekend with Em!

(Hi, Em!)

Cheesy said...

We had homecoming and parents weekend all rolled up into one. The kids are done with college but I still go to homecoming! Free booze and great football! And we WON! weeeeeeeeeeee have fun and hug the kidlette~

Cheesy said...

oh and~~~

LMAO @ candy and patches!!!!!

Dianne said...

kitty jail - LOL

have a good good 'Em' weekend!

sari said...

Have a terrific time with your little mouse!

TTQ said...

We don't send our animals out, we have people come and take care of them. Nobody will take them 24/7.

Oh and college days, I'm the youngest, they never had high hopes for me. Besides what training do I need to take cvare of Mom when she is old? Seriously, she'll be in jail at our house. She'll adjust if she doesn't die first.

Dick said...

Pat thinks she has to be up at 04:40 on Tuesdays in order to get ready and be at her volunteer job at the hospital at 7. I spent too many years starting work at 5am to ever want to get up early again. I'm perfectly happy sleeping in to 6 or so every day.

As to college, I am glad that my last one graduated from UW in 1996. I hear it has gotten expensive to go to those places now days.

jen said...

look how well you've adjusted. me? i still think of her as 16 years old.

i hope it was wonderful.

deb said...

Have a wonderful weekend. I need to send my daughter off to college, sounds like an excellent idea.

Are cicada skins anything like foreskins?

Say It said...

fuck-thirty is my worst hour. And, my cats hate my driving to.

Say It said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Clowncar said...

"o'fuck thirty" is very funny.

As is "kitty jail."

Our kitties complain too, about the fur all over the furniture. It's ironic, really.

capacious said...

Our cats are so politically involved that they barely have time for us anymore. We have to hid the remote control for the TV because they all fight over the darn thing, constantly meowing over this news or that news NEWS NEWS NEWS all the time. F-ing cats, nothing but trouble.