Friday, May 28, 2010

I kissed a juror

I spent the last week and a half on jury duty.

I spent the first two days sitting in the Death by Boredom potential juror waiting room and thought i had successfully avoided getting empanelled.

I was two minds about this.

Mind One:

Oh, oh, pick me, PICK ME!! I am special. Whatever your criteria are, i meet and probably exceed them.

Mind Two:

Shit, get me out of here! I have things to do, squash games to play, quilting to attend. My cat is lonely.

One of me got her wish, Dammit!

At the very end of the second day, just when i thought i had made it without actually having to do anything, i got called as Number 12 for a potential jury. Sadly, i was not able to say anything offensive enough to get out of it. (Even wearing my "KILL 'EM ALL AND LET GOD SORT 'EM OUT!" t-shirt didn't work.)

Being on a jury is quite weird. This was a civil case about a man suing the local Bus Authority because of an injury sustained when he was getting off the bus.

It's just amazing that 12 people can watch the same thing and come up with such different perspectives.

I decided to lay low so as to not get elected as the "presiding juror." In the end this might have been a mistake as the woman who did get elected got all officious and emotional and kept saying things like, "HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK LIKE THAT?"

Well excuse me all to hell for trying to apply logic to the situation.

Anyway, jury duty is over and i'm back to living my unimportant life doing unimportant things.


furiousBall said...

I sat on a criminal jury about 10 years ago in Atlanta and it was awesome. it was a drug case and the defendant was selling drugs out of his grandmother's driveway. classiness abounds!

Maggie said...

yeah but what about this juror tryst? god you're a tease.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I have gone on numerous jury auditions but have never been chosen. The question that always makes them lose interest in me fast is, "Are there any lawyers in your family?"
A. "Yes, many."
Q. Thank you for your time. NEXT!!!

I'm glad you're back to more important things like keeping your cat company. We have our priorities.

luckyzmom said...

I think you are going off the deep end:O

Andrea Frazer - Pass the Zoloft said...

Your blog is muy importante.

nick said...

I've done jury service twice and I thought the other jurors were very conscientious and fair-minded about reaching a decision. A presiding juror who is so belligerent to the other jurors is totally out of order. If the losing party heard about that, it would surely be grounds for an appeal.

Glad the cat's got you back now!

meno said...

furious, sounds like a nice guy. You let him off of course?!

maggie, just trying to write a hit song.

hearts, hmmm, no one asked me that question. I'll have to remember that.

luckyzmom, i think i HAVE gone off the deep end!

andrea, thank you for that. It is to me.

nick, i saw in the news that they might appeal. My cat is snoozing next to me right now.

lisleman said...

It's been years since I was selected but now that I type this I'll blame you if I get a notice.
Did you acquit?
Mine was a DUI accident and I was elected foreman. Guess my leadership skill was lacking we were a hung jury.

Marshamlow said...

I am jealous I have never had jury duty.

Infrequent Flyer said...

This is why I prefer to people watch at the airport. I would rather see what people do without the burden of being troubled by their logic.

TaraDharma said...

i actually sat on a jury a couple of years ago. it was I had a total crush on the D.A. She was powerful, classy, butch dyke with great fashion flare for courtroom apparel. It's a wonder I heard any of the facts in the case at all.

meno said...

lisleman, i accept no blame for the jury summons! This was a civil trial, and the jury voted to give the dude lots of $$. But that was not my conclusion.

marsha, it's really interesting. I hope you get to do it someday.

infrequent flyer, or their lack of logic.

tara, are the facts relevant? The lawyers on my case could have used some fashion advice.

Mary_Flashlight said...

I've only made it to the "chosen to see if you are not-nuts enough to be on the jury" part once. And the prosecution thought I was great, until I mentioned that I thought drug laws regarding simple possession (without intent to sell) were stupid. I figure people can kill themselves more quickly if they want... I don't care. And this WAS simple possession - the guy knew he had a right to a jury trial, and by god he was going to have it! I was quickly dismissed, but not before the judge lectured me on trying to wiggle out of my civic duty.

The other times I've been called, I've been nursing (and am still nursing now), and since they can't guarantee me time and somewhere to pump, I ask for excused absence.

Maggie said...

Hey, I think that might make a great hit. Especially if you say the juror you kissed was a girl. What do you think?

Btw, unimportant? You can't fool any of us with that self-deprecation.

(Mayor of Snarkville, CEO of FunnyCo, benefactor of youth and animals)

Clowncar said...

false advertising! there is no juror kissing in that post whatsoever.

I've always wanted to be on a jury. The one time I was summoned they cancelled the damn thing, dismissed us all. I'm still disappointed about it.