Wednesday, May 05, 2010

My Big Mouth

picture purloined per Wikipedia.

I was half-assedly listening to the radio and i heard a promo for this upcoming segment "How to repair a sarcastic friendship."

My eyebrows went up as i thought, What an interesting topic! I could use that information.

What my brain failed to process is that i was listening to a cooking show and the upcoming topic was "How to prepare a sarcastic fringehead." (A real fish, see above.)

Big difference.

But i am still interested in how to repair a sarcastic friendship. Sometimes i meet someone who is a real smart ass (like me) and we get going, moving from sarcasm to amusing insults and never recover. I then find that the other person has a higher tolerance for sarcasm and amusing insults than i, and i wonder how to tone it down so we can actually get to know one another, because i'm bored with the sarcasm and insults.

I find myself in this very situation with someone The Mister and i are becoming friends with, one half of a couple. I've come to be very wary to be around this person.

See? Mom was right, It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt!

It's difficult for me to play the earnest dim wit, but i think that's the course of action i've settled on. Perhaps when things settle down a bit i can bring the sharp tongue back out.

Of course the best thing would have been to not get started in the first place, but given my medium level of social anxiety, i'm not sure what to do without that coping behavior.

I really could have used that advice show.

18 comments:

Maggie said...

Well it sounds better than a show about a fugly fish!

I have this schizophrenic social reaction in which I can blurt things out, including sarcasm and then fret obsessively that I offended. Then I just cower into a corner and that doesn't really foster friendships either. So yeah, I'd like to hear your show too.

Steph said...

The thing I learned about sarcasm early on is that it doesn't work on old people or authority figures. That is probably not useful here, though. And it hasn't stopped me from being sarcastic, either.

Eve said...

Why not apply the steps for preparing the fringehead to the friendship and see what happens?

nick said...

Have to admit I have a very low tolerance for sarcasm, I find it rather demeaning, so I tend to avoid sarcastic people altogether. My father was habitually sarcastic and I hated it.

But I could do with some advice on whiney and nit-picking and fussbucket friends.

de said...

Is this person a man or a woman?

I love this post/idea and the other ideas from commenters! Definite food for thought, far more edible than that fish. Ick.

furiousBall said...

what if you're friends with a smart ass sarcastic fringehead?

meno said...

maggie, Oddly, i did not notice that about you when i met you. Maybe this schizo person lives, and stays, in your head?

steph, authority figures!! Bet there are some good stories to go with that comment.

eve, "remove the head, filet along the spine..." Yep, that might work.

nick, thinking about it, i am usually sarcastic about things, rather than people. Well, except for Sarah Palin. My dad used to be sarcastic, but i think he's forgotten how. So maybe time will cure me.

de, a man, why? Isn't that just the ugliest fish?

furious, you should prepare them!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

You made me laugh out loud, and now I'm really curious about what makes the Fringehead sarcastic, and how it impacts his/her relationships with other Fringeheads. Also, is a sarcastic fish one that lives in a sarcophagus?

The idea of you as an earnest dimwit doesn't play. Try modeling the kind of behavior you would like in this budding friendship and maybe the other person will actually be grateful to drop the act. However, if you get stung, then there probably is no basis for a friendship anyway.

Fringehead the Other White Meat said...

It sounds more like a competition than a friendship...which would leave me more withdrawn. So, no advice might be the best kind of advice.

Maggie said...

You may be right about that. And um, that's even scarier. I have secret lives going on in my head! I sure wish there were parties happening in there.

TaraDharma said...

I suppose it depends on whom it being sarcastic and how annoying it is...my wife is very sarcastic and I've learned that is how she loves to "play" with people she is fond of. Really.

Gina said...

I have nothing useful to say because I am SO FREAKED OUT by that photo!

meno said...

hearts, we'll see. I was a willing participant, up to a point.

white meat, withdrawing is the action i am considering. But will try to calm things down first.

maggie, will there be pony rides?

tara, i lay that way too. But i like to think i know when to quit. But maybe i don't.

gina, you know you want one in your fish tank!

Cheesy said...

No words on that fish...must taste god cuz it is SCARY!

Just add hollandaise sauce.. works for fish and friendships

luckyzmom said...

Sign me up for that class, and I would like to suggest that heartsinsanfrancisco teach it.
The fish? a face only mother could love.

Deb said...

I'm in the middle of letting go of my sarcasm and sharp tongue. It's how I protected myself, kept people at a distance so that I would feel safe. Maybe just feel anxious for awhile:)

tysdaddy said...

I can be a bit sarcastic, but usually not before I've listened to the other person for a very long time. Given the relationship time to percolate and learn the nuances of their conversational style.

Maybe a moment, or two, of silence is in order . . .

Andrea Frazer - Pass the Zoloft said...

Like others have said before me, sarcasm works with the right party. When it gets to be too much, that's where assertiveness comes in. "Quit your crap" I tell some people, and then they leave me alone for at least a day.