Monday, July 21, 2008

Marriage tip from Meno

The Mister and i were at a party recently and we were chatting amiably with some friendly strangers, as one must do at parties, when they discovered that we had been married for 26 years.

(An aside, i do not like going to parties with The Mister, and usually i manage to avoid him when i do, but we were eating and i was trapped. I don't like going to parties with him for two reasons; because he takes over the conversation and is touchy about what i say, so i tend to try and not say anything.)

So the other two people, who had been together for about 6 months, smiled at each other with googly eyes, asked the inevitable question: What is your advice for staying together?

(The irony of them asking us for relationship advice is that i was busy thinking dark thoughts about The Mister because i couldn't get a word in edgewise.)

The Mister answered them with something about listening and humor and trust, all that true but treacly stuff.

If i had answered, this would have been what i said:

FOR GOD'S SAKE GET TWO SINKS IN YOUR BATHROOM!

42 comments:

Deb said...

Drugs or alcohol. Or maybe just living in different houses.

thailandchani said...

LOL! Funny! I think I agree with Deb's advice. Live in different houses.

Sober Briquette said...

...with separate medicine cabinets.

I don't know why, but fairly regularly I use Tony's toothbrush, completely by mistake. Mine is solid green. His is three colors. I only realize my error after I've started brushing because the bristles are arranged differently.

TTQ said...

don't stop with sinks, his and hers evrything

Maggie said...

I knew it! Great marriages all hinge on the layout of the bathroom!

And being able to think really dark thoughts about your mate while smiling and fooling everyone around you.

floribunda said...

separate credit cards and checking accounts definitely helps. also, my hubby travels a lot!

crazymumma said...

two houses. attached.

with rules of visitation.

andyhugh said...

Very True, funny but very true.

QT said...

TOO.FUNNY! I would say separate bedrooms, too.

meno said...

deb, oh hell yes!

chani, there's this song i heard on the radio years ago "Separate Houses, Two Blocks Away." Truer words...

de, yes, that too. We have them. All his stuff is still all over the counter though, but on his side.

ttq, separate toilets!

maggie, you were in doubt about this???

floribunda, oh yes, separate accounts are a must.

crazymumma, that wouls be ideal. I'm not even sure about the attached part.

andy, not what we thought when we were young is it? But dammit, it works.

qt, oh yes. the snoring. (His, not mine.)

Sally Forth said...

Absolutely. And separate closets.

Mona Buonanotte said...

I'd vote for two separate bathrooms, separate checking accounts, and two televisions, in opposite corners of the house.

Marshamlow said...

I vote for separate vacations. And a filter for my evil thoughts, if I said all that I think, I don't think I would be married anymore.

Tink said...

AMEN! I think I say that at least once a week, "In the next house-!"

tt said...

you just crack me up! ;)

Mamalujo said...

After nearly twenty years, we just now got separate sinks, and I must admit it is sweet.

If a couple is asking about advice on staying together, the truest answer is, it's too late to be asking. Don't get together unless you plan on staying that way, come hell or high water (with the obvious justifications for separating when personal safety and/or sanity is at issue). In other words, my best advice for staying together is, don't split up over the small stuff, and it's pretty much all just small stuff.

furiousBall said...

i think the key is to not get married

Princess in Galoshes said...

YOU ARE SO SO SO RIGHT! That is our biggest issue TO DATE! I mean, we've got at least two months on that couple....

patches said...

I'm not saying separate bedrooms per se, but separate offices, and studios.

I almost forgot, don't accept responsibility for managing your partner's relationship with his/or her family. Let it live up to the natural disaster it is intended to be.

meno said...

sally, that's going to be a feature of our next house.

mona, i'm still thinking separate houses.

marsha, now there's an idea! I filter, but not very well.

tink, we didn't learn about the separate sinks until we'd been married about 15 years. Hope you are smarter.

tt, cracking up is good, but you know it's true about the sinks.

mamalujo, i think they were just making conversation, not really asking for advice. Of course, everything you say is true.

furious, your cold black heart is showing!

princess, see? My advice is needed! Now, about those sinks...

patches, wise kitty. It took me at least 12 years to figure that out.

Franki said...

Is the marriage bit necesssary? Couldn't we just live happily in different houses sinning all the while?

pat said...

amen to that...and 2 toilets!

Sienna said...

Oh yeah!

Separate bathroom, toilet, bedroom, separate holiday, hobbies, I so get this, understand....

Do you know we both slept (together) in a single bed the first 18 months together. It was incredible looking back, (meaning how we did that?)

The attraction really strong, but a sense of independence, individualism, desire for our own time has long kicked in now. Darling is a party man, real extrovert, I can do that stuff, but it's not preferred behaviour.

We are total opposites, honestly in so many ways, but yet have a lot in common, relationships can be the strangest things.

We actually split up once already, then back together.

Kinda, two people so different, but yet so right?

Life is never ever dull.

Pam

egan said...

You're wise, very wise. Doesn't the Mister have a basement bathroom he can stink up and dirty up as he wishes? I thought all guys had one of those.

LazyLazyMe said...

Separate office/studio? You Americans and your money...

I also don't get the two sinks issue. I can't think of anything I do with the sink that takes that much time.

Kathleen said...

Two computers. We would not be able to share one. We can share all the other technology just fine, but, actually hmm, we have his n hers ipods and cameras. So I'm chaning my vote to: His N Hers technology.

Cheers!

Cheesy said...

LMAO ~~ I will keep that in mind should I ever decide to marry again... tooo funny

The Real Mother Hen said...

LOL! Damn it now the secret is out and all the divorce lawyers will be starving! :)

You're funny.

Well, I hope you enjoy the Oregon Coast next week, and if you do come to Central Oregon, drop me a note!

Schmoopie said...

One bed, king-sized, with separate comforters. That is what has worked for us.

The 2 sink thing must be SO nice! I have dreamt about having my own. Why can't they seem to rinse their toothpaste, hair etc. down? Is that too hard to understand?

meno said...

franki, not necessary AT ALL!

pat, i haven't attained that goal yet. Something to aspire to.

pam, being opposites keeps it interesting doesn't it!

egan, no, he does not! Maybe that's the problem.

lazy, yes, it's true. We are all rich.

kathleen, that's certainly a valid vote. We have separate laptops.

cheesy, DON'T DO IT! Just say yes to living in sin.

mother hen, i should have charged them for that. And i will.

schmoopie, our next bed will be king-sized. How do you make your bed with the two comforters?

lu said...

I'm going to get in line with Furious--skip the marriage.

Imez said...

ba dum bum- CHANG!!!

Any other advice? Frankly I'd read a whole blog entry of your marriage advice, as I imagine you have a brutally practical view of it.

(Jesus I'm back to being poster #527 on all you immensly popular posts.)

Eve said...

These comments are hilarious but have me wondering why anyone stays married!

Lynn said...

I hope that you don't mind if I quote you next time someone asks me that question. Too bad you couldn't get a word in edgewise.

Schmoopie said...

One on top of the other ;)

sari said...

Maybe just two separate bathrooms all together! ha ha

Ortizzle said...

"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."
---Katherine Hepburn

Beyond that, two TOILETS would also be good, lol.

peevish said...

patches has it right. I need to keep reminding myself.

luckyzmom said...

I commmeted, really I did. I must not have published it. It was really good too. Is this happening more often?

meno said...

lu, i'm not anti-marriage, but i can't see ever doing it again, should i become unmarried for any reason.

imez, i have two words for you. Google Reader. If i can figure it out, anyone can. I AM brutally practical after damn near 27 years.

eve, i think we're all just letting our inner cynic out. I like being married. I must, right?

lynn, quote away young lady!

schmoops, oh. duh. One more stupid question, because i think this is a good idea. Two top sheets too?

sari, that would come with the separate houses.

ortizzle, that kate was a smart woman.

peevish, i wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure that one out myself. But what a relief when i did.

luckyzmom, i haven't heard of any issues with that. Hmmmm????

fiwa said...

It's hard to keep a straight face when a couple who has been together 6 months asks that, no? Oh my dears...

Peggy said...

I think the big secret is to not split up. ;-)