Friday, July 18, 2008

My friend = her mentor

I went hiking last weekend with my friend Eileen and The Mister. Em really likes Eileen, so i used Eileen's presence to entice her to go hiking with us. (I try and sneak exercise into Em's day through whatever devious methods i can think of.)

Eileen is about 20 years younger than i am, which makes her much cooler than i in Em's eyes. During the last part of the hike, The Mister and i could hear Em and Eileen chattering away behind us. It pleases me a lot that Em has adults other than boring old mom and dad who like her and listen to her and to whom she looks up.

It's important in a young person's life to have these people. People you know will give good advice and say things that you are okay with her hearing. And that your child might actually listen to because it isn't you who said it.

(I will say that Em listens to me pretty well, but it's always nice to have reinforcement.)

The Mister and i smiled that Indulgent Parent Smile at one another and kept out of their way.

23 comments:

Brad said...

I know it sounds corny but it does take a village. We both really enjoy being 'Uncle' to our friends kids.

ms chica said...

Having the village in my youth helped me emerge into an almost tolerable adult ;)

Adult should not to be confused with grown-up. Growing up passed me by.

Maggie said...

put them all together and what do you get? a well-rounded being.

I was going to repeat for the gazillionth time how lucky Em is but then I thought, how lucky we (the world) are for having parents who raised one more responsible person.

Smart Parents: enhancing society, one kid at a time.

Gordo said...

Every kid needs non-parents to interact with and look up to. If nothing else, it can add some balance to whatever crap we're spoon-feeding them.

furiousBall said...

one of the most powerful forces in my life as a teen was a neighbor that i was cutting their lawn. he got me interested in reading and really bettering myself. the village does matter.

TTQ said...

And maybe Eileen is your protege, and you are her mentor? The street goes both ways.

Marshamlow said...

One of the drawbacks of our movie around so much is that we don't have a lot of local friends, no matter where we are. Mandy has adults other than me in her life: coaches, co-workers, teachers. She is close with many adults but I really don't know these people at all, I have no idea if their influence is good or bad. I hope that she is drawn to people who think in the way we do or that she is wise enough to form her own opinions.

meno said...

brad, and your "nieces and nephews" enjoy it too. Win/win.

ms.chica, almost tolerable huh? I wish you'd quit with the endless bragging!

maggie, back at you fellow parent!

gordo, like a reality check on our bullshit.

furious, i remember some people like that too. I am thankful they were areound.

ttq, huh. I never thought of it that way. We are more friends, but she does look to me for advice sometimes.

marsha, i was a navy kid, but we stopped moving around when i was 12, so i got some chance to form longer relationships with adults. I hope Mandy will too.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I wish I had had such people, but my parents kept me on a short leash.

I believe I serve that role in some other lives that are precious to me, though, and I take the responsibility seriously even when it's simply fun.

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Dianne said...

It is nice when your friends and your children develop relationships, broadens everyone's horizons.

Sounds like it was a great hike for everyone.

hockamama said...

as a teenager, I had a couple of different neighbors, both between my age and my mama's. they were ever so imperative to my well being. they always listened, and gave great advice. not until much later did I realize the words they said sounded different, but were indeed the same words my mama spoke. I was just more receptive to them.

it's great that you aren't intimidated by em and eileen's friendship. mama always resented the 'intrusion'. she never did figure out that it was helpful, not harmful. oh, well.

Bobealia... said...

My mom provided a lot of these kind of people for me in my life and they were really important to me. They still are. All my Aunties.

Imez said...

How old is Em now? Is she 16?

One thing has not changed since the very first entry of yours I read. You adore that kid.

Do you ever wish you'd had another?

Daisy said...

Oh, I wish that I had the fabulous adult best friend that I could deputize for my kids to talk to whenever they needed to work out something they just didn't want to talk to me about.

I will have to work on finding someone like that. And dragging everyone on hikes together.

QT said...

Just catching up with you, my dear. This is a good post, the "other" adults are so important, I remember a few of those growing up.

That, and I can't believe they take pics of your insides. I mean, it isn't an ultrasound of a baby, for the love of pete!

lu said...

tribute to you meno, that she's not afraid of adults.

Mona Buonanotte said...

There's nothing like the thrill of hearing your children talk to adults. I'm constantly amazed by how grownup they suddenly sound!

Sober Briquette said...

I have some nieces about her age, but I guess I'm just a little to old or a little too related, or I missed the window of opportunity. Apparently I'll have to work on the younger ones. Bwahahaha. (I sound like the anti-mentor.)

egan said...

I just flashed forward about 16 years and it pleases me to read ths about Em.

meno said...

hearts, a win win situation, for both you and the young ladies involved.

mamap, i know! And i sent you an e-mail about it, and you replied. Thank you!

dianne, hiking is one of my favorite things to do. Em likes my friends, which is sweet.

holly, really? Your mom was resentful? I'm astonished.

bo, wah! I want more aunties.

imez, nope, 17 and heading off to college in a month. When Em was about 4 months old she was so cute that i wanted 3 more. But i got over that. I don't wish i had more kids, but i'm not glad i don't either.

daisy, this is like your League of Gentlemen (can't remember exactly what you called it) that you talk about sometimes.

qt, I KNOW! I really didn't NEED to see those.

lu, gosh. Do you think most kids are?? Hmmm, now i wonder.

mona, it's really cute. Makes me realize that there is a civilized person in there, even though sometimes i don't see it.

de, i'd let you have my kid to influence ANY day!

egan, you have a lovely trip ahead of you. Enjoy it.

The Real Mother Hen said...

Still, you think of the wellbeing of your child in everything you do, that makes you a great mom!

luckyzmom said...

I totally agree with you. And not because everyone else does, but because you are such a wise woman.