Thursday, January 17, 2008

A typical night


10:00 pm: *Hoping i can stay awake until bedtime, 10:30.*

10:05: "Fuck it, i'm going to bed." *Turn on public radio station and listen to whatever.*

10:20: *Sleeping.*

1:30 am: *bolt awake. Turn radio on softly to the BBC so my little British friends can either bore or depress the hell out of me*

1:45: "Fuck it's hot!" *Push man away. Toss cats off bed. Throw all covers on top of man.*

1:50: *Wonder if spot on arm is sign of impending arm cancer/gangrene/scurvy.*

1:55: "I'm freezing!" *Pull covers up. Move over next to man.* "Here kitty kitty kitty."

2:05: *Wonder if odd noise in house is the cats or an intruder.*

2:15: "Fuck it's hot!" *Push man away, toss cats off bed, throw covers over man.*

2:20: "I'm cold!" *Pull covers up. Move over next to man.* "Here kitty kitty kitty. Where ARE those damn cats?"

Repeat until 4:45 or so. *Drift off to sleep and dream weird dreams until man's alarm goes off. Curse man. Curse world. Go back to sleep.*

51 comments:

Franki said...

Wow, I had a feeling you were a wild woman in bed.

Mrs. Chili said...

Yikes. I'm so not looking forward to being perimenopausal; a bunch of my girlfriends are already experiencing the crazy temperature shifts in the middle of the night. Ugh.

I'm sorry, Honey. Here, kitty, kitty!!

Diane Mandy said...

I've had nights like that. Feel your pain!

thailandchani said...

Lately, I've been having plenty of nights like that, too!

:)

Andrea said...

So glad *I* am not the one sharing your bed OR the one with insomnia!

Instead I have a child with RSV who currently wakes me up at least once an hour.

Alli said...

OMG! That made me laugh.

Now I feel bad for laughing.

I'm not laughing AT you, but WITH you.

Actually, I can relate. I create sooo much heat when I sleep. I can only cuddle for long & also fuss with the sheets & comforter at times. Oh, and the kittehs & pup have been banned from the bedroom. :(

Sober Briquette said...

Replace "fuck it's hot" with "Awaken to baby calling. Stumble down hall to tell him to lie down" and it could be my typical night.

flutter said...

excuse me, I did not give you permission to use an extreme close up picture of my leg hair!

Maggie said...

Now I have a foolproof reason to have cats! I'm pretty sure my husband will go for that one. Ha.

As for the noises, it is intruders, don't kid yourself. There are little green men trying to get into our houses every night. I say our because I hear the SAME noises.

TTQ said...

I like it when you curse alot, it adds meaning to your writing.

patches said...

You omitted waking up 3AM to cat hacking up hairball.

meno said...

franki, i think you meant to say i'm HOT!

mrs. chili, Just you wait my little pretty!

diane, thanks. It's not something i ever thought would happen to ME.

chani, yes, must be the season. :)

andrea, no offense, but i'm glad you aren't my bed partner too. :)

alli, you'll get yours someday. Then i will laugh at/with you.

de, always something to look forward to isn't there? From kids to hot flashes.

flutter, oh. I guess you must have been drunk when you signed the model's release!

maggie, cats are the bomb, except when they are not. I wonder why the green men can't learn to be quiet.

ttq, you crack me up. Profanity is nothing but a substitute for wit.

liv said...

I'm more of a starfish in bed--spread out and happily untouched. Then I get touched by a cat or a small person, or on very, very rare occasions, a man. And I will snuggle or nuzzle and then it's OOOF!!!! back to starfish---and I'm always hot. There's no hope for me.

Mama P said...

OH, I've missed you. Your dinner with the bloggers sounds like a blast. And the car deal with Em? That's rough. Been there. Happy almost weekend.

fiwa said...

For me it is: "Damn, I think I have to pee again. No way, I just pee'd an hour ago. I'll just lay here and ignore the feeling and it will go away. Hmmm... no, I think I REALLY need to pee." And it all starts off with a dream of waterfalls or bathtubs running over....

tt said...

welcome to my 'fuckin' world! I finally had to get the 'happy pills'...I love those little things..I pet them and talk to them..." come here little pill-y..mama's needin so be nice to the world today....
eh,it is what it is right?
:)

ETK said...

Good lord. I'm already a million degrees when I sleep with the huge furnace to my left and those three little purry ones randomly strewn about body parts. I do not look forward to THAT.

Joan said...

OMG...are we living parallel lives? Except for the "kitties" part, I'm right there with you girl doing the "blanket dance" all night long.

Princess in Galoshes said...

premenopause, pre-shmenopause. That's my typical night. It has to do with a highly developed warm-bloodedness.

I am also very sensitive to temperature. And odd noises at 2:05 AM.

sari said...

And it always seems so MAGNIFIED during the night, doesn't it?

Lynn said...

Sounds like you have a bad case of 'hormone drama' going on.

AC said...

At least you went back to sleep. If I wake up at 2-ish, and I regularly do, its over for the night. Laast night I slept through from about midnight till 5 am and that pretty much sets a record for the last year or so.

I know how you feel and its a top shelf bummer.

gr said...

Our cats used to dance on me all night long. Then in April we got a little beagle who took over the bedroom and prefers things quiet. I sleep better than I have in ten years.

deb said...

Me too. Ain't it grand?

meno said...

patches, i hate that! Mine haven't ralphed in a while. Of course, now that i've said that....

liv, we had a king sized bed on vacation. I'm thinking that might be a good thing for home.

mamap, you've been busy! What with your new writing gig and all.

fiwa, i know that feeling too. I have to wake up enough to pee, and then i am too awake to go back to sleep. Ugh!

tt, happy pills? Xanax? Hormones? I gotta get me some of those.

etk, and the cats like to sleep right up against me. I move over, they follow. Sometimes i feel trapped.

joan, it sucks. But i guess it'll be over...someday.

princess, sleep is an elusive creature for us. I wish i could sleep like the Mister, except for the snoring, that wouldn't be lady-like. And i'm all about the lady-like.

sari, problems are SO MUCH bigger in the middle of the night. Sometimes i wake up and i just can't believe what stupid stuff i was stewing over.

lynn, that's one way to put it. At least it doesn't happen during the day....yet.

ac, sometimes i wonder if i would feel better if i just stayed awake.

gary, maybe that's the answer, get a beagle.

deb, you and me sister, you and me.

Andrea said...

LOL! No offense taken... :)

Bobealia... said...

You aren't known as "meno" for no reason.

WNG said...

Hmmm...is it bad that I'm already doing that at 28? I'm just going to assume that it's the new mjassive thread count sheets I bought trapping in the heat.

capacious said...

You described the hellishness of not-being-able-to-sleepville perfectly. The only thing you left out was the snoring husband and the little boy who climbs in your bed about 2:30 with a nightmare.

I spend more time worrying about the whereabouts of the cats than is imaginable. It's really dumb, because they're always fine. I'm all teary-eyed, thinking about the coyotes and they show up at the door, late, all brisk and snappy and ready for breakfast.

Mother of Invention said...

Ah, welcome to the regular celebrations of The BIG "M"!
I change my dripping nightgown every night!

pat said...

I can relate...try a swig of nyquil before bed...zzzzzzzzzzz

egan said...

2:07am -- duck behind shrubs so Meno can't see me hiding in the bushes.

You do have a great house.

meno said...

andrea, i knew you'd understand!

bo, ain't that the truth?

wng, yes, that must be it, the sheets.

anne, i did leave out the snoring, but it's there. No small person appears at my bedside anymore though. Progress.

moi, great. just great. I sleep in camis, so i don't have to do that, yet.

pat, drugs are the answer huh! Maybe some Tylenol pm?

egan, could you just be a bit more quiet?

tt said...

Happy pills=Premarin
Premarin= no night sweats,no hot flashes
No H/F & N/NS= happy place and niceness to all

It's a good thing!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Funny, I don't remember writing this. But I must have.

QT said...

I get too hot almost every night because of the woodstove - it is hard to regulate the heat...I feel your pain, but in a different way.

amusing said...

The kitties? More than one? Cuz you know what Liv means when she talks about the Kitty.... She has a hairless one.

[pssst. The Tylenol PM gives hangovers....I am a zombie most of the next day]

Susanne said...

Oh my. No wonder that you are prickly.

luckyzmom said...

Just a couple of days ago my husband and I were talking about that. He falls asleep about a minute and a half after his head hits the pillow. His body is always hot and he would constantly pull the covers off of me when he pulled them off himself. I, on the other hand, have a difficult time going to sleep and staying asleep. Plus, except for the menopausal time of my life, I am the opposite of my husband and must have the covers up to my chin. Additionally, I have an extra blanket that covers my side of our king size bed. I constantly check the clock to see how much longer I should lay in bed trying to sleep or how long it has been since I last got up to pee (at least twice a night). So, one more reassurance that you are not alone. I hope that this is only a temporary condition for you.

Oh, The Joys said...

Okay... so I'm just going to have to beg you to either tell me or point me a post that tells me...

...uh...

... what are the things, er, the changes that are going to happen...

[[[DOWN THERE]]]?

My girl's starting to go all weird.

Help.

Dick said...

I think some of those problems can be solved with Premarin but do be careful with it. I think if the doses are kept pretty low there is not a lot of danger and it sure can help a lot of things. It probably won't do much about the Little Green Men, though.

Irrelephant said...

And here I thought, from the picture, that the post was going to be about pricks...

crazymumma said...

oh honey. Do we share the same bed?

meno said...

tt, can't do that as there is a history of breast cancer in my family. :(

hearts, it's all of us girls, eventually.

qt, we used to heat with a wood stove, i know what you mean.

amusing, no, not that puss. :) I don't do Tylenol PM for the same reason, hangover.

susanne, that explains alot, doesn't it?

luckyzmom, i hope that you are right. Temporary would be good. I am usually a cold person, up until now.

jess, so far, the form and function of "down there" remain the same. No need for the KY, but i will get some if needed.

dick, i will not do the Premarin. Too much breast cancer in my family. Plus, you know, i can just tough it out, like women did for thousands of years.

irrelepant, oh, it's all about you? :)

crazymuuma, i haven't noticed you there, but that might explain some of the heat.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Before my surgery last summer, the injection the OB gave me threw me into menopause, complete with night sweats...the meds have since worn off, and I'm back to my usual self, but I expect the nightsweats to return with full vengeance in the next few years, when my body decides to do it for reals!

Sienna said...

ROTFLMAO!!

I was doing a lot of shiftwork nursing so I got my own room, own bed..

I could not have somebody share my bed in a fit-apart from the sexual aspect. Darling is allowed to visit for sex and cuddling..he snores and I kick and dream wild dreams.

Not that you need to share a bed for sex or cuddling.

He is a bed neat freak, sheets/blankets all tucked and made to perfect degree angles; me, anything goes and prefer my bed unmade.

I love rumpled.

Sleeping is the strangest thing.

Pam

Maggie said...

Hey, I miss you.

meno said...

mona, so far, it's really not that big of a deal. But i do hope it will be over soon, ESPECIALLY the bleeding part. I mean, fair's fair, right?

pam, i think separate bedrooms might really appeal to the Mister right about now, poor man.

maggie, aren't you sweet? I just sorta took the weekend off. You know, i lived without my laptop for TWO WHOLE days. Back soon.

egan said...

Two whole days? Now that's what I call living. If I'm sans internet for two I go into convulsions.

Melanie said...

i fall asleep with a little wiggly worm next to me that kicks me all night long. then after 6 hours... without fail, i am awake.

thats all.

reen said...

Oh gawd. I am you, until 6am when MY bloody alarm goes off. And you can sprinkle in various preschoolers who climb into my bed sometimes and poke me, or stick their cold feet between my knees to warm them.

So it's maybe perimenopause?? Rats. I'm only 39!