Friday, January 25, 2008

Yuck

I cringe when i am watching a movie and two impossibly beautiful people wake up together after a night filled with unparalleled ecstasy, open their eyes to gaze lovingly at one another and start kissing.

Ewwww. Get up and brush your teeth first.

Does this make me a frigid bitch? Do you like a bacteria filled mouth breathing on you first thing? (I make that sound pretty sexy. )


Is it just me that finds this gross? Does anyone else even notice this?

49 comments:

LazyLazyMe said...

Yes. Yes it does.

liv said...

Yeah, really. When the two impossibly beautiful people, who are me and my lovah, wake up, I like to kick his ass out of bed and tell him to fetch some fucking coffee.

This does not make me a frigid bitch. I know what I did the night before.

And no, kitten breath is never sexy.

furiousBall said...

I floss in my sleep, I always have a sexy mouth

Sober Briquette said...

I keep a Listerine Pocketpak in my nightstand. But there's really no need, because I am a frigid bitch

Diane Mandy said...

I find it icky, but my husband does not. How awkard is that?

deb said...

I think kissing first thing in the morning is gross. I can't stand my husband's breath and don't want him anywhere near mine. Which sucks because kissing is my favorite part of sex.

jen said...

if i woke up with eye make up and lipstick i'd kiss the guy next to me too.

meno said...

lazy, COOL! I hear the therapy is fun!

liv, kitten breath? More like tiger breath.

furious, sleep-flossing! I hope it catches on.

de, guess we'll have to form a therapy group for that. And part of the therapy is a ROAD TRIP!

diane, eww. That is awkward. Umm, does he know this?

deb, bet he would brush his teeth if you asked.

Dick said...

I guess that is artistic license. That isn't the only thing in the movies that doesn't follow real life.

invisible said...

I can't stand the sound of all the slurping.

amusing said...

It never bothers me in movies because I know they just got into that bed and the sheets aren't even warm yet...

and in real life, I am always freaked out in the morning because I know my breath stinks (because my adorably honest and forthright children have told me so!).

However, I adore the sleepy morning sex and it doesn't work if each party gets up to brush and pee and etc. -- that just means you are awake and the day has begun.

Should I ever have a man in my bed again, I will simply locate breath freshener of some kind in the night stand, right next to the condoms and other necessary sexual aids.... (who knew Listerine was a sexual aid?)

patches said...

Altoids, curiously strong but not miracle workers...

Honestly I sneak out of bed most mornings hoping to catch a few minutes before I'm required to converse civilly or listen to cable news.

Em said...

Yeah...it can be a tough moment trying to decide whether to kiss or admit to your partner that they smell bad. LOL

invisible said...

Em? Are you joshing us?

Mona Buonanotte said...

As long as Sergei gives me Sweet Morning Lovin', and doesn't mind my dragon breath, we're cool.

Bob said...

kissing first thing in the morning isn't the only thing about movie sex that doesn't translate.

Maddy said...

It's gross now, but it wasn't when I was young. I think old people have more bacteria than young people.
Cheers

Cagey said...

hahahahaha....

I always (ALWAYS!)notice this, too!

Reason #43278 why I read your blog - you write about this odd little things, too!

Maggie said...

apparently you are not alone. nor I. I hate that in the movies. Please. Disgusting.

Oh and the whole thing about kisses that would practically clean someone's esophagus - no. I don't want to see that.

luckyzmom said...

I''m trying to remember the last time I woke up as an impossibly beautiful person after a night filled with unparalled ecstasy with an impossibly beautful person.

If I could remember it I'm sure I would have ignored the bad breath.

Antonia said...

I must be weird. I kiss Ian first thing in the morning and always will.

We once witnessed a TV ad for some oral hygiene thing, with all these couples saying "No, we don't kiss in the mornings" or "We kiss, but not on the lips" and we thought, gosh, we're not bothered, are we strange? are we disgusting? We just love each other.

To me, first thing, he smells nice and sleepy in a loved, familiar way. He can keep his farts to himself, though.

Joan said...

Early in the morning...hugging definitely, kissing never! Gross!

SUEB0B said...

You are my soul sister. My ex BF used to get soooo mad that I would kick him out of bed to brush his awful mossy teeth in the AM.

QT said...

you and I are 100% on this one, baby. Do not get your dog tongue anywhere near me first thing, before I have even cracked an eyeball open. I will do the same for you.

flutter said...

um yeah, I would rather get farted on than smooch with morning breath.

Seriously, that shit is rank.

meno said...

jen, exactly!

dick, really? There are other things in the movies that aren't realistic? Who knew?

amusing, ha ha! You funny. Listerine is definitely a marital aid.

patches, you just have cat breath. Not so bad.

em, your partner, but not you, of course. :)

invisible, he might be.

mona, avoiding the breath is a requirement of morning breath. He who gets lucky will not breathe on me.

bob, really? What about multiple orgasms? I suppose you are going to tell me that's not real either.

maddy, oh now that's a lovely thought.

cagey, it's good to know i'm not the only one.

maggie, sinus cleaning kisses don't do it for you huh? You're odd. :)

luckyzmom, oh that was just last week for me. heh.

antonia, yes, you are weird. Completely. And the morning kissing thing is odd too.

joan, cuddling with faces averted.

suebob, he would get mad? How strange. You did the same for him. How could he get mad? (Rhetorical question.)

qt, dog tongue. Ha ha.

flutter, rank, powerful. What if he killed me? It could happen.

gr said...

In this household, where we have 3 dogs and 2 cats, there is always at least a dog and a cat between my impossibly handsome self and my impossibly beautiful wife. It has been thus for all ouf our 16 years together. The little beagle is filled with joy at the prospect of morning and breakfast that she dances, rolls, kisses and the rest. She is impossibly beautiful. Spike the cat at our feet is impossibly handsome. I guess me and the missus kiss them and they kiss us, but we couldn't get near each other if we wanted to!

Melanie said...

when I watch movies. i always remind myself to put me in that scene. and a real man!

then I think listerine strips... thats the ticket!

Bobealia... said...

I hate it in movies when people don't stop to put on a condom and I spend the entire sex scene worried about AIDS and infections...

My Reflecting Pool said...

maybe you are assuming they brushed their teeth the night before?

Maddy said...

Huh! No update? I don't know, these part time bloggers!
Cheers

Princess in Galoshes said...

Um. Doesn't bother me too much. I also prefer to get other... intimacies over with before I brush, anyway.

;-)

TMI TMI TMI TMI TMI!

Mama P said...

I get mad when women wake up in movies to clean houses. Yeah, right.

Mignon said...

Morning breath is bad, but also the post-cigarette kiss makes me cringe. Also, and to be a little graphic, the rolling around without ever breaking the, uh, connection is ridiculous, as is the post-coital sweaty-ness. Someone needs to take a look at the thermostat on set, because apparently all the actors are operating in 100-degree heat.

TTQ said...

honey and I don't have that problem he gets up early and I am out like a ton of bricks. Problem solved. Plus it gives him time to run out and get me coffee and a muffin

Lynn said...

Even my eleven year old has yucky breath in the morning. It is definitely universal.

capacious said...

My husband and I only make out on the mornings when the camera crew is filming us. I usually just have my hair and makeup person brush my teeth for me beforehand and hold the spittoon at the side of the bed so I don't have to move. My husband's hair and makeup guy does the same for him. You really need to get someone to do that for you. It's just essential.

crazymumma said...

you are certainly NOT alone.

meno said...

gary, pets as birth control!

melanie, are listerine strips that powerful? I hadn't realized.

bo, you are as bad as i. I notice that too. Especially since in the movies they are likely to be jumping into bed soon after meeting.

my pool, uh, i guess i did make that assumption. Although it's rarely shown in the movies.

maddy, sorry for having a life. :)

princess, well, that's one thing that will usurp the morning breath!

mamap, they do that? What movie?

mignon, i bet they have people with spray bottles misting them to get that sweaty glow.

ttq, and you time to brush your teeth. Or not.

lynn, it's all that bacteria. Nice thought huh?

anne, damn, i needs me some peeps like that. Can they pee for me too?

crazymumma, i feel reassured that i am not the only one to notice this.

formerly ddm (Sonia) said...

Totally. Grosses. Me. Out! *broooot*

invisible said...

Love is love. Kissing is kissing, eh?

invisible said...

Auntie Em, Auntie Em!!!

Kelly said...

You are soooo not alone one this one.

Tink said...

After Hoop got his wisdom teeth removed, he couldn't open his mouth wide enough to brush for two days. The mere thought of what his breath must smell like kept me from turning over to face him in the morning. There is NO way.

Irish Goddess said...

I completely agree, and it often strikes me when I see it on movies. ICK.

meno said...

sonia, hi there! How are you doing? Yep, gross is the right word.

invisible, well, love is love, and kissing is kissing, true enough.

kelly, :) Good to know.

tink, ha! I can't sleep if the Mister is facing me. He might open his mouth and start snoring, and i might get killed.

irish goddess, hardly anyone EVER brushes their teeth in the movies. Do they think we don't notice?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I always notice and have the exact same reaction. Of course, the impossibly beautiful people also slept in their makeup, even the guys, so hygiene is clearly not a consideration for them.

Yes, I'm a frigid bitch, but I brush my teeth even when I get up to pee at night, and I never wake up looking like a raccoon with shiners.

Popeye said...

Right there with ya...

Sonia said...

I'm okay, thanks! Trying to get caught up on my reading here. :-)