I can ask for what i want
What i am learning from people who are paid to teach us this stuff:
I didn't think i had the right to ask him to change his behavior just because it was a problem for me. I kept trying to get him to see that it was a problem for him.
And that never worked, because, i guess, it was not a problem for him, even though i thought it was. In fact, i thought it very clearly was a problem for him. I felt frustrated because he would not see that. I thought he was being stubborn. But he was perfectly happy with what he was doing.
But i do have the right to ask him to change something, because we are striving to be and stay a couple, who do things together and are each other's support system. Because people who want to have a successful and happy relationship are willing to make changes for each other.
So i asked The Mister to stop drinking because i don't like it and it made me anxious when i watched a bottle of wine come out every night and disappear.
And he did. Which makes me happy and that increases his happiness. See how that works?