She can be bought*
*or how peace was restored to the house by goldfish.
Em spent over an hour yesterday afternoon alternately yelling at me and crying. I must have repeated "i am not going to change my mind," at least 50 times. Finally she gave up and went away.
Dinner was a bit tense, with a few glares directed at Worst Mommy. Folks, if looks could kill......
After dinner, Em declared that she would forgive me for some goldfish crackers. (What she actually said was that she would pretend to forgive me. I can live with that.)
The Mister, who was not as tired of it all as i was, recognized a face-saving device when he saw one. So he volunteered to go off to the store and procure the desired goldfish.
A one gallon box of goldfish and all is well.
And again, i truly appreciate all the support. You guys are easy to talk to, and so smart. :)
46 comments:
Goldfish, huh? Shit, we've been spinning our wheels for three days in the blogosphere and the solution is goldfish. Cheap date. I hate it when over-think things.....Glad things are looking up. You've been on my mind a lot this week.
damn. if i'd known about goldfish a few years ago.......
sounds like she was looking for a way out too. glad to hear it.
Goldfish crackers are magical things. I use them to bribe my 3 and 9 year-olds all the time. In fact, I keep a box in the van for emergencies. It's nice to hear that their power endures.
Wow...wouldn't it be nice to recover so quickly? LOL
Peace,
~Chani
patches, i appreciate your thoughts. It was surprisingly hard to have Em really angry with me. She can't stand it when i am mad at her, and she is rarely mad at me for more than a few minutes. The goldfish were really just a way to get a tiny little thing she wanted, a teeny weeny bit of power.
bob, exactly, she was looking for a way out. Try it, it still might work.
gordo, keep them on hand, they should work for a long long time! :)
Oh my god. There really is no difference between a teenager and a toddler.
Yay! I'm so glad things are resolving in the House of Meno. *pouring you a glass of red wine* Cheers! *s*
chani, i was anticipating a much longer recovery. And i think that this may rear it's head again, but as a smaller hydra each time.
nancy, in many ways, no. Just keep the goldfish handy! I must admit to a glass of wine as well. :)
I wish I'd known about goldfish when my daughters were teenagers.
I suspect that Em was secretly relieved that you said no to the excursion. She may have been pressured by her friend and not sure how she felt about the whole thing but didn't want to hurt her feelings.
You helped her to save face by your adamant refusal.
I'm really glad that peace has been restored, or what passes for peace with a 16-year old.
I'm glad she let down her guard just a little bit. In a few months she'll really understand why you put your foot down on this matter.
Kinda shows a teenagers true colors: almost an adult, and able to make adult plans and do adult things, but in the end still a child. Although I realize she probably as just tring to clear the air.
BTW--did I miss something, how did your daughter meet a gf in DC? Was it online, then you met face to face last summer? Is this a post I missed, or will you write the background for your info-greedy fans?
I'm sitting here, alternately thinking that Em is still SUCH a little kid (if Goldfish can make it all better) and then that she's SUCH a mature young person (that Goldfish can make it all better). I started off by thinking the former, but now I'm thinking that she needed to be done with it, and that Goldfish were the first thing she could come up with to sort of mark the change in her thinking.
Wowie.
Good job, MOM! Yet again, you stick the landing!
Oh yes! It didn't occur to me until I read the comments here that Em may have just been, perhaps, a teensy-weensy bit hopeful that you WOULD talk her out of it. It's hard to be a teenager, trying to straddle that chasm between protected childhood and adult decision-making. So scary.
Goldfish. Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit. It's always so much simpler than we think!
I love the way kids can be bought.
I am so glad I don't have a girl. But I don't think boys are that different! Glad the white flag is up!
isn't it funny, how the little things can mean so much in the face of dissension. sometimes it's so difficult to give up the ghost, especially when you know you're wrong/beaten, even more especially when you're a teen, dealing with all that hormone crap. good for her for being strong enough to make the first move, and good for you for recognizing it as the gesture it really was. hugs to you both.
Phew.
I keep goldfish in my car, too. It's worth a few crumbs to have happy, quiet children.
Being a soft fortress is an art. Em is a lucky girl, and she's also quite easy. But I like that you see it as a power thing, because that makes so much sense. I'm going to note that for later.
I am running out an buying stock in goldfish!
To celebrate renewed peace at Meno's, I am going to go out and purchase some Goldfish. We should all go. Blessed be the internet and Goldfish. They taste so very good with a glass of Syrah. Have a great day.
Well... the simple pleasures of life. Sweet! (I think you're right, though... there may be future minor eruptions from the crater. Better keep the goldfish well stocked.)
Whew...if only all the world's problems could be solved with a few Goldfish. I'm glad to hear that Em has recovered so quickly. Do you think it's because, in her heart, she always knew what your decision would be?
So glad things have worked out. At my house we are usually a peace loving bunch. When there is conflict and rift there often comes a time when it is just over and we make some sort of peace offering and then get back to the business of having a peaceful existence. talk about a run on sentence. I think this shows that Em's been raised to feel best in a peaceful environment and that is a good thing. Hopefully she will always feel that way and not draw to her dramatic friends and partners when she is out on her own.
Geez, is that all it took?
You guys got off WAY easy!!!!
Don't ya just love kids?
when I wrote my comment last night I thought it was YOU & The Mister looking for face-saving. (I don't know why I thought that, it was Em with the operatic behavior). I woke up at 5:30 this morning realizing that you meant Em was the one looking for a way out and that my comment was blazingly, stupidly showing I didn't understand what I read.
I am so clueless sometimes.
Coming from someone whose mother let her run wild her junior and senior years of high school, take it from me - Em will appreciate you someday, somehow. For sure, I am NOT appreciative of my mom having let me run wild.
hearts, i think you may be correct. This way she can blame the whole thing on me. That's part of my mom role, to take the blame.
egan, a few months may be overly optimistic, but maybe someday....
gary, i did write something about it, but it was quite a while ago. They did meet on-line. In a geeky literary girl fan club role-playing forum. They met in person for the first time last July when we went to DC for a visit. These thing are so odd to me, but it's a new day and so us old people have got to keep up with the times.
mrs.chili, both your assessments are correct. A fairly mature way to demand something small so that she can be over it. I also hope that there will be no more landings to stick for quite a while.
biscuit-mona, given the rapidity of the surrender, i think she was, in some small way, hoping for a no. This may sound weird, but i think it lets her know that i am paying attention and that i care.
d-man, kids hell! i am still open to bribery too.
toni, according to egan, there will still be boy drama.
holly, i have to give credit to the Mister for the recognition of the gesture. I was feeling kind of beaten up at that point. We always accept hugs! :)
de, that is so true. We have a vacuum cleaner, damn the crumbs.
What a great solution. Offer goldfish and get pretend forgiveness. Which will turn into the real kind at some point for sure.
maggie, "soft fortress"... has anyone ever told you that you have a way with words? She really is easy, thank god!
lynn, maybe we should send some to Iraq.
caro, goldfish rule. This proves it.
ortizzle, i will be packing goldfish wherever i go henceforth.
joan, i think she gave up once she really understood that i was not going to budge. It just took her a while to figure out that there was NOTHING she could do about it.
marsha, i like the way you put this. I hope she was raised to feel most comfortable in a peaceful environment. That's a nice idea.
gewels, we did get off easy. Until the next conflict....
bob, you are funny. I often do stuff like this and then have to go back later when i realize that i completely misunderstood the situation. You are not alone.
cagey, you have no idea how much i appreciate this comment from the voice of experience. Thank you.
Goldfish crackers just don't do it in my house...but a bag of nacho doritoes can get me just about anything I want from the kids.
Oh, I am so glad it is over - for now...
Good to know that my 4 year old and your teenager can both be bought by the much coveted Pepperidge Farm food group! (Pardon me while I giggle just a tiny bit...) So proud of you for sticking to your stuff.
Goldfish?! *Slaps forehead* Why didn't I think of that?
I'll go back and read what all the hoopla is about, but the mischief maker in me really wants to encourage you to head to the petshop for a bowl, three fish and a tiny plastic treasure chest.....
C'mon. It'd be fun! And then just stick the whole thing in her room!
"Goldfish? Whatever are you talking about?"
Weird... Goldfish were buy one get one free at the store today...so I bought Honey some...maybe I should hide them for when he is pouting that I'm not ready to go to bed at night..he can be bought with food too.. I'll even give him my gummy bears if I really want to get him out of my hair, and those are my most favorite snack/candy/food so he brings them to me when I'm blue but mostly I hide them for when I really need/want them, but he doesn't have to know that!
*glad you guys made that breakthrough*
susanne, it seems to already be real because she's just not that good of an actress.
em, yours just have a different brand of poision. Use the power of the junk food!
qt, we'll see if it rears its ugly head again. I'm hoping not.
liv, hey, we do whatever works! I kind of like goldfish too, now that i think of it.
tink, keep it in mind for your kids, if you ever decide to have any after reading this.
amusing, i would totally do this if i didn't feel guilty about being unkind to the fish. Maybe a fake one?
I'm glad peace has reared it's head once again, no matter how long the little repercussions may drag on.
I'm all for bribery as well.
Christ, what's up with teenagers these days?
When I was 16 I lied to my parents, had my girlfriend sleep in my bed when her parents thought she slept in a separate room, went to her house and snuck around in the dark.
And she listens to you?
Yikes.
I don't think you have anything to worry about. I would have been on that plane...
Goldfish is all it took? I am like, stunned. I figured you were in it for a cell phone or a car AT LEAST
damn. it's always the goldfish. nicely done, all.
I am happy for you.
Hmmm..wish I had a reason to get those crackers...but my cats would rather have the tuna Pounce treats!
Congrats on the truce. She's gonna be a really cheap date. And I mean that in best way.
Damn, I am going to go stock up on goldfish today...maybe they can be used for world peace or something!
Who knew?
I can be bought with food, too.
But Goldfish?
I'm not THAT easy. ;-)
Glad a truce has been brokered.
ttq, i love gummi bears too!
sari, bribery, it works! Any parent knows this.
lazy, do you think this was a good thing for you? Just curious.
flutter, she already HAS a cell phone, but no car. Shhh, don't give her any ideas.
jen, i know! She's always loved them.
mamap, thanks, and it's quieter now too. :)
moi, i don't think Em would have been as happy with those, but my cats would have been.
lisa, i won't tell her dad that you said that. :)
lee, Maybe we should tell Bush?! "Send goldfish to the troops."
jennifer, me too, on both counts.
Good/Bad who cares?
Life is all about fucking up and surviving despite it all. Can't survive if you're not allowed to fuck up.
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