Saturday, December 30, 2006

Childish behavior on my part

I love my sister-in-law. I really do. She is so organized and so sure that her way is the right way. She’s not more than a few years older than i am, but she seems like she’s from another, older generation.

A few years ago she went off on us about how the toilet paper should be positioned such that the paper comes off the back side. I realize that this is a hot button issue for many people, but really, is it important?

She declared that those of us who positioned the roll such that it came off the front would rue the day, because our children would hit the roll until the whole thing was on the floor. I think she opined on this for a good 5 minutes.

I don’t really care how it comes off the damned roll. I just want it to be so that i can get some paper off in the middle of the night with the lights off.

Last time i was at her house i snuck upstairs to the master bathroom and turned the roll around.

I’ll bet my brother got blamed.


Anonymous said...

tee hee. It almost makes it worth the 5 minutes declaration - you've already enjoyed the revenge for longer.

thailandchani said...

LOL! There are so many more important things to be thinking about! Who cares about the toilet tissue, as long as it's there. Oh, that is funny!



Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

Wish you knew your SIL because I would gladly tell how WRONG she is. Hello??!! The TP should go on the front. End of story. :-)

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

Ack. Obvious typo where I meant to say that I wish *I* knew your SIL. Clearly, YOU already know her. Damned fingers. Mine, that is.

Anonymous said...

Hey thanks, I have now found my new year's resolution - to be fun like meno!

Happy New Year!

(my tp goes in which ever direction fate places it into my hand as it comes out of the package)

Mother of Invention said...

I love that you did that! I was wanting to do it! She should worry about the big ones in life! TP is small potatoes.

urban-urchin said...

Ha! Yet another reason I like you. My college boyfriend whom I dated for 5 years was kinda OCD and a HUGE neat freak. Sometimes I would go in and turn a shoe around or just move somethings slightly askew. Drove him insane. Made me laugh everytime.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Oh, no! I did the exact same thing with MY sister-in-law many years ago. She also knows everything, and looks down her considerable nose at anyone who disagrees with her.

She tried to re-toilet train me when I was in my 20's. I moved to a new apartment and she demanded to know if I had changed the toilet seat.

"Um, no. There was nothing wrong with it," I said. I wondered why this even interested her.

"Ohhh," she said. She looked as if she had just sniffed a turd. "You're supposed to change the toilet seat."

Nobody had ever informed me of this. "You are?"

"Well, yes. Anybody with any breeding, that is."

I quickly inventoried my ancestors and my brothers', and yup. They were an exact matched set. I always figured she cut him slack because he was such a good provider, even if he had no breeding.

Bob said...

Ha. I beg to disagree. This is a detail of the utmost importance. Peace within the family is at stake.


I think you and my son are in cahoots. I like to load the TP so it spools off of the front. When he puts in a fresh roll (I should say, when he bothers to put in a fresh roll) he ALWAYS loads it so it spools off of the back.

Not that it matters. except when you spend 5 minutes trying to get some @#$%# TP off of the roll.

Andrea Frazer said...

Is this the same brother who you tortured by putting fish in his car? I love that you use the word "opine". My husband has a friend very similar to your sister - in - law... she has elevated herself to head of all motherhood issues and it's really fucking annoying. And these sentences are totally unrelated and rambling so bye.

meno said...

de, i have been smiling about this for a while. i need to bribe one of her kids to do it when i am not there so she won't connect it with me. i am evil.

chani, it is funny because she is SO SURE she is right. Otherwise i would ignore how the paper is rolled at her house.

cagey, actually, i agree. But only because that's what i'm used to.

marsha, or to be sneaky like me. Happy New Year to you too!

MOI, it was fun! Think i'll do it again sometime.

u-u. it's fun to fuck with OCD people. Good entertainment value.

heart, replace the toilet seat? WTF? I've never heard of that. Guess i lack breeding too.

bob, exactly! And the middle of the night is not the time to be trying to locate the spin of the universe.

mamap, nope, this is the other brother. I hate those better-mother-than-you folks. This SIL is a better-mother-than-me, but my daughter likes me and hers avoids her. So HA!

Girlplustwo said...

moxy. i like it.

Antonia Cornwell said...

I love you so much for doing that. I would have, too.

Lynnea said...

I would love to hang out with you and just be silly like that. I don't know when it happened but I started taking life too seriously. Hmm, do you hear that? It sounds like a resolution coming on...

lu said...

Ha! I'd like to think that she laughed, but I keep getting the image of "The Church Lady" from SNL sitting on the pot--that sudden realization as she reaches for the roll, close up on twisted lips "...could it be...Satan?"

Unknown said...

But in Australia, the paper comes off the roll counterclockwise...wait, that's not it....

I'm all for fucking with in-laws as much as possible.

Bobealia... said...

Fek, I just lost my feking comment again!!!!
Anyway, all I said was that I actually like the roll on the back-way (as she does) the best, but that having the paper come off the front is actually the PROPER way to put the roll on (precisely to make it easily accessible). Ask anyone.
You might think I'm joking, but I am not.

Lucia said...

Just the other day I was thinking how people make relationships old. One of the things they do, is say things like "Why are you eating eggs out of a cereal bowl?" Who cares? So what! There are so many ways to do thing. This reminds me of that. Whatever way the roll goes on is okey dokey. If it rolls on the floor, well, hey, it rolls on the floor. I'm with you. Just make sure this IS paper and life is good.

Anonymous said...

SEE?! You and I would get along JUST fine - I would TOTALLY have gone around and flipped all her freaking toilet paper around so it came off the 'wrong' way! Paper towels, too. You rock!

I, too, have an opinion as to how the papershould come off the roll, but I do NOT evangelize about it. My toilet paper opinion stays in MY bathroom, where it belongs.

Seriously - I'm chuckling about your stunt. I LOVE it...

Anonymous said...

Why does she not have better things to worry about than how the toilet paper is hung? Maybe she needs some suggestions?

Liv said...

you, bear poker, you!!! have i told you lately that i love you?!?

ps--you're totally right--the paper should roll off the top. and btw, it was with hysterical laughter that i watched my 18 month old unroll the entire thing!

TTQ said...

That is why I never put the roll on the dispenser. I get confused..
Actually I could care less if it's on the counter, the floor or the holder

amusing said...

22 comments on toilet paper? Wow, meno, you are awesome!

Ortizzle said...

I like the toilet paper in the same direction you do, but I would not make a big deal of it. Except, of course, for the opportunity to switch it around in the bathroom of somebody who was obsessed with it. Hmmm... really, in ALL the bathrooms would have been perfect. *wicked cackle*

karmic said...

LOL you are cutely wicked!!!!

Have a happy and great new year!

meno said...

hi jen, i am kind of a jerk sometimes, but i amuse myself.

antonia, i will have to start a more concerted campaign to mess with her toilet paper disorder. I can just see you sneaking around in someone's house too!

maggie, sounds like a good resolution too. Silliness is underrated.

lu, i think she would just have been puzzled. She is not without humor, but about some things she is RIGHT and you are NOT!

nancy, ha ha! fucking with the in-laws: a new sport is born.

bo, thanks for perservering. I am glad that i am proper. I wonder what Miss Manners would say.

lucia, it's the little things isn't it? Good reminder to not be anal, i mean detail-oriented.

mrs chili, feel free to borrow this one if you are bored sometime.

marian, she does lots of other things, it's just that her inflexibility on this one got to me. So i retailiated like a 5 year old.

liv, i am a bear poker. You should see me with my mom. Although i used to be lots worse.

ttq, as long as it's within reach, it's all good.

amusing, yes, it's another socially relevant post from me.

ortizzle, next time baby, next time.

Anonymous said...

Happy new year Meno! It's 2007 for me now. I'm glad you stopped by in 2006 so I found your blog and look forward to reading more this year.

AC said...

I've found that the backward placement keeps the cats from rolling the paper off, generally right after I load up a mega roll. Otherwise, who cares. I'm more concerned about my spoons and forks being nestled appropriately in the silverware drawer.

AC said...

Oh, I meant to say, Happy New Year. I've enjoyed getting acquainted.

Malnurtured Snay said...

Happy New Year! I don't care which way my toilet paper "rolls", so long as it's got lots of sheets on it.

Ashley Lasbury said...

You are so BAD! I'm just pleased as punch if I can get my little ones to wipe at all...who the hell cares which why the paper is on the roll?

Hey, Meno, Happy New Year to you and yours. Thanks for your love and support this past year. I am wishing you love, laughter and health. Ashley

meno said...

sanjay, my SIL just might not think so, but thank you!

platypus, Thank you so much. Us moms of teenagers have to stick together.

ac, funny, my cats have never been interested in TP. And thank you for the New Year's wishes. Now go fuss with the silver.

mal, I don't care either, i just care that the Mister has remembered to replace the roll when he makes all gone with it.

onetallmomma, I remember that. i am so glad not to be involved with anyone's digestive system but my own these days. Happy New Year to you too, and thank you for the reading and the support too.

Tink said...

WOW. That chick has way too much time on her hands!

Me? I'm just glad if it makes it to the holder at all.