Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Old Meno, New Meno, Red Meno, Blue Meno

I blatantly swiped this concept from Mother of Invention. (And isn't that a great moniker?)
Name 6 to 8 ways you’ve changed and stayed the same over the last half of your life.

Ways i have stayed the same:

I am still tall. :) Maybe someday i will start to shrink.

2) I still love to read, although now i am quite willing to put a book down that i don’t like and never pick it up again. It used to be a point of honor to never start a book without finishing it. Now i think that’s silly, life is too short.

3) I still believe in being reliable. If i say i will do something or be somewhere, i will. I do not believe in thinking “Yes, unless i get a better offer.”

4) I love animals. Cats, dogs, rats, snakes, bunnies, horses, etc. Not so much the insects though.

5) My emotional walls are high.

6) I am a loyal friend.

7) I am not forgiving. I wish that had changed. But if someone messes with you once, chances are good they will do it again.

Ways i have changed:

1) I know that we cannot be healed of our pain by another person. They can help, but the real work has to be done by me. Dammit!

2) I never thought I would want or have children. I was wrong.

3) I was confident that marriage was forever. Now I know that this isn’t true. That sounds bitter, but it really means that you never know what is going to happen in your life. So don’t be so smug, you are begging for a smackdown. (This means you meno.)

4) I am not the center of the universe. This one took me a while to figure out. It still hurts to say it.

5) I am really good at not taking an action personally when I can see that it is clearly not about me. For example, a woman who I used to work with never liked me. From day one. This was really her problem, not something wrong with me, since she was unpleasant to me right off the bat. Maybe I reminded her of someone else. But who knows, or really, who cares?

6) I am athletic now. Not that I am very good at it, but I just keep swimming (or walking, or whatever.)

7) I am much less likely to lose my temper, and much more likely to feel awful about it when I do.

8) I know how to apologize and mean it.


Bob said...

I like loyally tall people who aren't the center of their universe. I'll try not to piss you off, 'cause your athleticism would enable you to whip my ass and never forget it, even though you've apologized for it.

Lynn said...

I also used to feel that if I started a book I had to finish it...not anymore...time is too precious...besides...there are blogs to read!

gary rith said...

hmmm, not much about tormenting your teen daughter, I guess that is solely for recreation...

Gordo said...

Good for you, Meno. Tat's a remarkably balanced set of lists.

I used to spend ages reading. When I was a teenager and it college, it was nothing for me to devour the latest Stephen King or Peter Straub book in an evening or two. Now, I'm lucky to get the time to read a book a month.

I need to get off my arse and exercise, too. sigh ...

Anonymous said...

This is a good meme. I have been thinking a lot about the one that should have been a meme that you did August 19 (for some reason I can see your archives but can't link in). It's how i got the whole Meno-Fussy-Whoopee connection that got me hooked. There's probably a post in this, so I'll shut up now.

thailandchani said...

Sounds like a very good list, and a graceful maturing.



ellie bee said...

lovely lists--I adore lists. they keep me half-way sane. I shall try to make this little list myself--bet I'll learn a thing or two!
Thanks for visiting me--come again soon!

Anonymous said...

I guess as we get older it's all about learning to accept who and what we are...

Joan said...

What an admirable and honest list.

I too have learned to put a less-that-enjoyable book down and to turn off a less-than-enjoyable DVD or TV show. Why suffer when there are so many good books, films and TV shows out there to enjoy.

Girlplustwo said...

i love it when you put your heart and brain in words like this, wise meno.

it's the really living that gets you there.

meno said...

bob, That's very cute.

lynn, and blogs are short enough for my pathetic attention span.

gr, Tormenting her is too easy to be considered sport.

gordo, gotta keep moving or i just feel awful. Try it, you'll get hooked.

de, i look forward to you ruling the world! Bring on your rules.

chani, some days i succeed in being graceful at maturing. Some days not so much.

ellie, i swear i live by lists.

caro, i realize that the alternative is to be miserable.

joan, and there are SO many great books too. I'll never get to them all, but it's fun trying.

jen, thank you ma'am. I try to not live a static life. Grow or die.

Anonymous said...

I used to think I knew everything, but now I know I do.

Kellyology said...

Ways you have changed: #2Ditto, #3Ditto, #4Of course you are not the center of the universe. Because I am the center of the universe. And there can only be one of us now can't there. Oh and yes, in case you were wondering, I am still 13 and everyone is looking at me!

jaded said...

I am in awe of your honesty. Maybe it's closely tied to being introverted. Few discover the truth about themselves, but even fewer are secure enough in themselves to admit it. I had you pegged for being reliable and loyal.

meno said...

d-man, my daughter knows everything now, so i don't have to.

kelly, i am sorry to disabuse you of this notion, but if any IS the center of the universe it is me. *sticks out tougue and runs away*

patches, one of the things i really despise is denial, so i try not to use its magic on myself. As tempting as it is.

Andrea Frazer said...

Meno, you are someone I am glad I know online. Not because you are brilliant and take awesome pictures, but I can tell that you are one stubborn little bitch. One wrong word from me and we'd never be friends again. (Not my fault... I'd be the six footer trying to appease you with cappucinos, but you'd be the athlete telling me, very calmly without losing your temper, to fuck myself.

Fair enough.

peevish said...

I'm right there with you on #2,7 & 8 of the last list. And that apologizing skill? I have to use that alot.

Lynnea said...

What? Marriage isn't forever? My bubble has been burst and life will never look the same...

Ok I'm being dramatic, I knew that. But really, I still have a hard time with not being the center of the universe. I used to think I barely existed in the universe and then when I finally accepted that I mattered, well I wanted to be a petulant child and hold onto the belief that I AM the center. *Sigh*

But I am pretty darn good at apologizing. I can do that one.

Mother of Invention said...

Hey, neat that you did this and thanks for the plug/link!
I'm 5'8 3/4" but I used to be 5'91/4"! Shrinking disks!

I also think marriage is a bit of a crapshoot. One partner can change and there's no knowing that. But I guess you play the risk factor and if you think the odds are in your favour, go for it.
I think I was lucky.

I find it easier to apologize now. I am also a reliable person and a loyal friend.

Strangely enough, when I was really young, I said I'd never get married and that I didn't want kids. little did I know then that I'd be unable to have them once I did get married.

AC said...

I am so with you on change #7. I find it totally unnecessary to fly off the handle now. In fact, I hardly ever get really mad any more, not at real people.

My mother never has apologized to me, never said she was sorry about anything she ever said or did. That makes your change #8 one I identify with. I determined years ago I WOULD say I was sorry when I was. It has made my relationship with my daughter so much deeper and trusting.

Anonymous said...

I so want to be like you when I grow up. You're a wise woman, Meno.

meno said...

mamap, i am not sure what it is that gives you that impression, but i am not all that reactionary.

lisa, yes, i too have plenty of practice at apologizing. It's important to be good at something!

maggie, sorry to burst your bubble. I'm sure that for you it will be forever.

moi, so there's hope that i will shrink? When i read this meme over at your site and the found myself thinking about it the rest of the day, i knew i wanted to do it too.

ac, i know that one of the reasons that i learned how to apoligize is because, like yours, my mother never, ever apologized for anything. I think it would have meant alot to me if she had.

platypus, i can be wise. I can also be a real ass. Just hopefully more wise than ass. Or just a wise ass. :)

Andrea Frazer said...

Hi -

That was my half hearted atempt at a joke, based on your many posts and this current one, particularly :#7 I am not forgiving. I wish that had changed. But if someone messes with you once, chances are good they will do it again.

You know I don't really think you're a bitch, right? And now I'm thinking that you thinking that I banned you from my site might have to do with this? Which it probably doesn't and now I'm turning into classic freakish female #1.

Bottom line : if I offended you in any way - or better said - gave the wrong impression about me thinking what not, it was so unintentional.

I'm a dork sometimes, and while I pride myself on letting my writing show my true feelings - jokes being funny and on target - I slip like the rest of us.

And as for this long rambling message, I'm too tired to edit, and let it prove my undying devotion to a talented woman who makes me laugh, is true to herself, and never is reactionary - hence the very nice response back to me.

Dislodging foot from mouth now.

Rock on with your bad self. I mean good self. Ah, fuck it, I can't think straight.



meno said...

mamap, I am in no way offended with you. I KNOW how easy it is to be misinterpreted in writing. So i rarely take offense. I mean, if you had said "You are ugly and stink like poop," yeah, that might have been taken as an insult. I was just puzzled as i didn't realize you were teasing, except about the bitch part, i knew you didn't mean that. Even though some days it's true.

love and kisses,


urban-urchin said...

It took me a while to figure out I am not the center of the universe. I still sometimes forget.

Nice list Meno.

QT said...

I like this meme and I am with you on not taking things personally. I have a pretty thick skin.

The temper thing I am still not so good at when I finally DO lose it, tho.

QT said...

I like this meme and I am with you on not taking things personally. I have a pretty thick skin.

The temper thing I am still not so good at when I finally DO lose it, tho.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

A fine list. I also have trouble with forgiveness because emotionally I equate it to some degree with acceding in someone's bad treatment of me. Intellectually, I know that not forgiving is much harder on me than on the one who is not forgiven since he or she probably doesn't know or care.

You are wrong, however, about not being the center of the universe. For your loved ones, you ARE exactly dead center. And nobody else counts.