Wednesday, February 13, 2008

How odd

My daughter thinks i am a better person than i am.

In my view, this is unusual for a teenaged girl, mostly because i still think my mom is a worse person that she probably is.

Should i hope she never figures it out?
Or should i try to become that better person?

Sometimes it's a little windy up here on the pedestal. Maybe the fall will be slow.


Girlplustwo said...

maybe she just sees right through your banter and self deprecation.

yeah, maybe that's it.

Liv said...

what jen said. i know you're secret, and have got your number just as em does. heh.

furiousBall said...

this might just be the codeine speaking, but what the heck, let's get married.

i'm going to propose to everyone tonight.

Em said...

Maybe your daughter sees the real you. Be happy for what she sees...and cling to it. Your goodness will endure...but her appreciation of it may be fleeting. LOL

tt said...

She's young, she'll get over it.
(Ha--sorry that was bad)My daughter is the same way. Fortunately, because the lines of communication were always open,she still sees me that way. But, because she's had her own life experiences ( she's 29 now) she's very understanding. You're lucky. Just go with it.

flutter said...

maybe she just sees what you can't.

Anonymous said...

Just pack a parachute.

What a blessing - a little TUMS to offset Mother.

Maybe it will be like TT said - by the time she suspects anything, she will have had a few life experiences herself. You can go out for a margarita with a grain of salt together.

Allison Horner said...

I think every girl is different.

I have always & still do think my mom is amazing.

Lynnea said...

Man, with your height, being on a pedestal must be amazing! How high up are you?

Ok I's just kidding.

I think Em is spot on and astute. Now send her up here to teach my daughter that whole pedestal thing.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

Are you saying that your teenage daughter quite possibly likes you? Holy crap! Take that and run like the wind! :-)

meno said...

Shit you guys, you're making me embarrassed. I was feeling...unworthy, not fishing for compliments.

jen, well, are a lot that's good for her self-esteem.

liv, eh, stop with your silliness.

furious, that must be some good shit you are on. I'll break it to my husband as nicely as i can.

em, good advice. It just amazes me though.

tt, god, i hope so! 29? And she still likes you? You really must be cool.

flutter, she is better adjusted. I think it's a lifetime of being loved and knowing it.

de, you are brilliant. "Margaritas with a grain of salt." I wish i'd said that.

alli, awwww. That's encouraging, and sweet.

maggie, i know! i'm getting a nosebleed up here! :)

cagey, she does like me, and she says so too. that's why i think it's weird. Not that i'm complaining.

Anonymous said...

Just be thankful and maybe put a lot of pillows around the base of the pedestal. Just in case:)

crazymumma said...

I think maybe she might think that because you might not be pretending to be perfect. Kids are smart.

SUEB0B said...

I'm with Deb.

QT said...

You are too funny - I'm with mags, I can't imagine how high up you must be!

Anonymous said...

Everyone, except maybe narcissists, thinks they are worse than they are. I love that your daughter loves who you are.

Diane Mandy said...

You know those idealistic youths! Teasing. My guess is she knows you very well. Sounds to me like you are too hard on yourself.

Anonymous said...

My kids think I'm crazy. I like it that way. Keeps 'em on edge.

jaded said...

When receiving a compliment, the proper response is, "thank you" not not "thank you, but..."

Just because you have all these wayward thoughts swimming around in your head that she doesn't know about, it doesn't mean you are less than she thinks you are. It only means you are human.

and she won't know about the fish in your brother's car unless you tell her...

Bob said...

face it girl, you're aces.

it's great that, despite the drama that is every teenager's life, she likes you.

Mrs. Chili said...

Meno, maybe you should try to understand that she sees who you are TO HER, not who you are to you. It took me a long time to get my head around the idea that two people in a relationship have very DIFFERENT relationships to each other; that my marriage to my husband is a VERY different thing than his marriage to me.

Em's not kidding herself, and you're not fooling anyone; you are what you are and, obviously, what you are is better than you think it is. We are our own harshest critics...

Daphne Enns said...

Well, we are our harshest critics except when our children are...I was the typical critical daughter but I am also my mothers biggest fan-and I do know the real her.

peevish said...

Just try to be content where you are. I think that is the most difficult task. It is for me, anyway.

And count yourself lucky.

Mermaid Melanie said...

"Never argue to your limitations."

Charles Dickens - Great Expectations.

thats all i have to say about that.


Unknown said...

Mrs. Chili said something similar to what I was planning to say. And as she grows and gains more life experiences, her perspective of you will change. Hopefully she continues to like the view. :)

Anonymous said...

Just be glad Em can see through your crusty, curmudgeonly exterior to your crust, curmudgeonly heart. *wink* I'm with Patches--be gracious and say 'thank you' and leave it at that. It's a rare child who loves their parents past puberty--mine is 13 headed for 40 and I can hear the resentment bubbling even from here.

Oh, did you know that all that height and heavenly back-lighting make you an excellent target? If only I could find my scope...

Dianne said...

I'm with everyone else who said your daughter just sees what you can't ;)

My son told me this morning that I was "his bestest Valentine" - he said that to me 29 years ago when he was 5! When he said it today I burst into tears and he laughed and said - "what? you still think I only remember the stupid stuff!"

Maddy said...

I'll lend you my parachute after I've hit the concrete.

Anette said...

Enjoy it!
And what if she's right?

meno said...

deb, i've got lots of pillows.

crazymumma, good point. In no way do i pretend to be perfect.

suebob, Oh, you always take her side!

qt, bet you can't even see me from WAYYYYY down there.

sally, i love that too. :)

diane, sometimes i am, but she really does look up to me. I guess no ones ever done that before.

franki, mine calls me a dork, but in a loving way.

patches, i know, i know. i think she already knows the fish story. If not, i better tell her.

bob, even when you are mad at me?

mrs. chili, i am nodding my head at that. You are wise.

daphne, i am not my mother's biggest fan. I'm not even sure if she has fans. Maybe that's why i think this is so unusual.

peevish, i count myslef lucky every damned day, except for the time when i am complaining.

melanie, that Dickens is a smart guy.

meno said...

andrea, i hope she does too.

irrelephant, i am a PROUD curmudgeon, don't think otherwise. Bah! If you shoot me i sha'n't chat on your show EVER.

dianne, awww, that's so sweet. *melts into a pile*

maddy, thanks, i might need it.

anette, what? She might be right? Does not compute! No, i don't think i'm horrid, but she does make me want to be a better person.

TTQ said...

Honey likes to tell me I'm perfect. I alway tell him not to say that or to think it. Because when I screw up it's going to be an extra hard slap in the face when I tumble off the pedestal he placed me on. It's really only a matter of time.

It does however remind me to show restraint of pen and tounge. And to treat him gently and kindly.

Lynn said...

Does this mean that you are no longer in the running for 'Meanest Mom of the Year" award?

Anonymous said...

The fall is rarely slow. Which makes the striving to become all the more appealing, no?

Bob said...

that's twice today I've been accused of being a hater.

I guess I've achieved curmudgeonhood ahead of schedule.

Anonymous said...

alot of mothers wished their daughters liked them, and thought better of them. you're lucky that you're not one of those mamas. why is it that good people, like you -yes, you, no matter what you choose to believe- have trouble accepting compliments, while the people who least deserve them can't get enough?

Anonymous said...

Your daughter knows you as she sees you. When she is your age and somebody tells her "you are just like your Mom", she will say "Thank You, I am".

Makes me proud in the future tense.

I love my Mom this exact same way and she is 73. She rocks, everyday.

Robin said...

i recently pshawed a compliment given to me by my significant other. his reply?

"that's because you're on the inside, looking out. i'm on the outside, LOOKING IN."*

i think it's the same thing for your daughter. accept it. you've earned it.

*(by the way, i melted like a handful of cheap chocolate when he said that)

meno said...

ttq, if my husband told me i was perfect i would go with it. Because he's old enough to know!

lynn, Well, i sort of go back and forth. But currently, i might be out of the running.

jennifer, truth.

bob, i had to look back at my comment to see what i said that implied you were a hater. I still don't know. You don't seem like a hater to me?????

holly, i am an okay person, i don't think i suck or anything. It's just odd, and sweet, to know that she looks up to me.

laurie, she already does say that when my husband tells her that she's just like me. But if you said that to me, those would be fightin' words.

robin, i would have melted too. I always feel like i should detail all the mean things i think. But then i don't. :)

Anonymous said...

Lets hope her view stays right where it is. I would LOVE my mom to be the better person I had hoped she'd be. Warms my heart to hear a teen girl likes and admires her mom. It means there is hope!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Don't make waves.

And if you get a chance, could you please tell the rest of us how you did it?

Andrea Frazer said...

I think children like authenticity more than perfection, and you have that in spades.