Friday, March 21, 2008


This morning as i was leaving my car in a parking lot, i heard some growling and yipping from a weed-infested corner of the lot. Of course i went over to investigate.

I found a small spotted dog backed against the fence by a larger dog. The larger dog had a doggie hard-on and the spotted dog was trying to protect her backside by keeping it towards the fence.

Knowing better than to insert myself into this disagreement, i clapped my hands and shouted. The larger dog ran past me and the spotted dog, sadly, disappeared through a hole in the fence. I wanted to collect her and save her from certain ruin, but she was too scared.

When i was about 9 years old, we had a female beagle who my mother had hopes of breeding. I have no idea why. Of course this means putting up with having a dog in heat dripping blood all over the house.

She chewed off her doggie maxi-pad. She tried to climb the chain link fence surrounding her dog area. I remember opening our front door and finding four doggie gentleman callers waiting around outside for a visit with our dog. It was an exciting time.

We weren't supposed to let her out without watching her during her first heat because she was too young to get knocked up. Plus my mom wanted to pay to get our dog laid by an expert. Oh, and probably by a purebred too.

Of course the one time that i went out with her, i didn't pay enough attention and the next thing i knew there was another dog stuck to her. Literally stuck. I know this because i tried to pull her away from Romeo. Alas, they were well and truly stuck, and Romeo took a snap at me for my troubles.

So i got in trouble. (Although my adult self wants to go back and slap my parents for expecting a 9 year old to protect a dog in heat from ravishment. )

Our dog ended up getting a doggie abortion and a hysterectomy post-haste, and that was the last of the dog breeding ambitions of my mom.


egan said...

It took me awhile as a child to understand the phrase "the dog's in heat". Still kind of confuses me why that expression is used.

Your tale is a very interesting one. You did the right thing.

furiousBall said...

I can't even stop myself from humping things when I'm in heat.

Lynnea said...

yeah I'd like to slap your mother too. instead I'll just slap mine. Oh wait, did I tell you that recently my mother called me an amazing girl? I'm telling you I 'bout died.

Um, back to you sorry.

Vanessa said...

Sometimes the expectations placed on children by parents are just ridiculous!

Liv said...

a dog abortion? that's kind of sad.

Anonymous said...

Lord, I grew up with a pair of breeding white toy poodles. The boy dog was shorter than the female dog so when they would mate, they'd end up butt to butt with the male dog's legs unable to touch the ground and screaming as the female dog dragged him round the room in a vain effort to get unstuck. Gawd, no wonder I'm such a mess.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I rescued a Samoyed from an abusive owner and she was gang raped at 5 months, much too young to have a litter safely.

She got the full treatment, too, although I think they may have removed her brain as well by accident.

Your parents bear full responsibility for what happened to your Beagle. It was foolhardy to let her go out at all in heat, especially with a young child. What did they think would happen?

fiwa said...

Hmm... have to say I never gave any thought to what would happen if you just waded into the situation you happened across this morning. My first instinct would have been to do just that.

At least your mom gave up after that attempt, but I'd want to slap them too.

tt said...

Ya know...the first time I saw that whole 'butt to butt' thing was when some pervert-maniac-terrier impaled my lil sweet chihuahua in my front yard. I was 28 years old!!! I couldn't figure out what had happened because I couldn't get them 'unstuck'. Seriously! A neighbor finally came over and told me the 'facts". I was such a city girl. How embarrassing!

meno said...

egan, i didn't really know what it meant either, even though the evidence was distributed all over the house.

furious, maybe an ice pack?

maggie, you are amazing. But you can still slap my mother.

vanessa, it seems so unfair looking back. How did they expect me to protect the dog when i didn't really understand what was happening?

liv, kind of sad, yes.

franki, it does appear violent from the eyes of a child. Mayne from the eyes of an adult too.

hearts, who knows what they thought. But what happened was completely predictable. Thank you for saving the Samoyed.

fiwa, thank god i knew better. I could have been attacked and bitten.

tt, i still didn't know what had happened for a few years. They were tuck end to end. It was outside my experience for many years.

sari said...

I agree with Liv, all I can think is just that's sad.

TTQ said...

And that is why we have two BOY dogs, they can hump each other till the cows come home but it wouldn't do any good. Oh and the fact that we took their nuts.they run better that way, kinda like no bra to sports bra..

Anonymous said...

Wow. Kinda heart-warming, how you prevented a sexual assault, although she was probably asking for it (what was she wearing, anyway?) Just kidding...I couldn't resist. I really do think it's great that you saved the day.

Anonymous said...

When I was a young mom of two young children, we rescued a mutt. Before we could have her fixed, she was raped in our front yard, in front of God and everybody. Including me and the kids. I tried to stop it with a hose, to no avail. The whole neighborhood stood around watching, not knowing what to do. I was traumatized. I can't even fathom what my kids must have felt at the time.

Molly ended up pregnant, had a litter of six. Four died of reflux and two were given to friends. Then, Molly was promptly rendered sterile. I've never *not* taken care of that little detail with any animal I've owned since.

Diane Mandy said...

My friend has a female beagle who has been fixed, yet she has a special pillow she likes to hump? Confused? Yes!

luckyzmom said...

Is is possible that your mother didn't know about the birds and bees of dogs herself, because, it seems to me that only someone ignorant of that would think a nine year old capable of handling the situation, with such an expensive investment?

Should the occassion arise,young children should have such an event explained to them as a natural occurance, so as not to traumatize them for life.

Scott from Oregon said...

I locked this bitch up in my van one night. In the morning, there were dooggy prints all up and down the side. What was funny about the muddy prints were the differences in size. I think I had a Great Dane and a toy poodle both vying for the affection of the bitch, I'm tellin' ya man!

QT said...

Oh man...

I have no idea why people don't just get their animals fixed. That is a lot to expect of a 9 year old.

Also...I dont mean to pick, but I have to take issue with the term rape being used to describe dogs mating. Just my 2 cents.

meno said...

sari, it is sad. This is one reason why i don't think people should be casual breeders of dogs. Leave it to the professionals folks.

ttq, there's an image for me to ponder.

mrs4444, she was all tarted up in this spotted fur.

jennifer, wow. Sex ed for the whole neighborhood. That's quite the memory.

diane, you just tell her that it's okay that she does this, but it should be done in the privacy of her room.

luckyzmom, she knew, but perhaps just not how determined they all are to breed.

scott, i wish you had taken a picture of the van. I'm surprised they didn't pick the lock and hotwire the car.

qt, i have an issue with that description too. But i'm sensitive to that word, so i understand.

Anonymous said...

I always thought it kind of sweet, in a sick sorta way, that a very large bitch will accommodate a much smaller dog when That Special Time is going on. Belle just had her first, and I sat on the back porch with a rifle every time she went outside.

I figured it was good practice for when my daughter starts dating.

Anonymous said...

I am going to admit to something embarrassing, with the hope that I never hear of it again...10 years ago, (when I was still a naive 30 year old) my little princess went into heat. we don't have any small dogs in the neighborhood, so I wasn't worried (HA!) lulubelle's breeding part was about 10 inches off the ground, and the nearest neighbor was a black lab, who is considerably taller. I honestly thought we were safe, sigh. I never heard the attack, I can't imagine when it happened, because she was (supposedly) closely monitored, but on new year's eve, she delivered 7 puppies, each one has grown to be twice her size. in fact, when she and one of her babies are together, new comers can't believe the roles aren't reversed. needless to say, this naive city girl took her little country dog down the road to the vet and had this situation taken care of.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to have been insensitive. However, being there, live and in person, seeing the horrified look of utter despair on my dog's face? Well, it was a much more brutal act than "two dogs mating" allows, and the term "rape" seems to capture the realities of what it was like, being there. In fact, it was actually first uttered into the telephone by a neighbor who called somebody for advice on what to do, as it was happening. It felt, then and now, the perfect descriptive.

Anonymous said...

I also guess the imagery was further sharpened by the fact that the male half of the equation was a chow-lab mix, more than twice Molly's size.

Anyway, all the explanation only to say, no offense intended.

Whew. Hard to say anything these days that doesn't offend somebody's sensibilities along the way.

Anonymous said...


Sorry about what happened when you were nine.

Tink said...

You got in trouble? That's effed up! I've seen two dogs mate with a chain link fence between them. There's nothing you can do when a dog is in heat. She has to go outside sometime.

Anonymous said...

Jaysus, it's amazing you ever let a man near you after that experience. Horrible. I'm sorry.

Not that you're like a dog or anything, I didn't mean that. You know what I mean. Don't you? Oh lordy, maybe you don't. No, you're clever, you definitely do.