It must be a sign

I am easily amused. So here are some signs i took pictures of in Japan, with my interpretation of them below each one.

(When i first looked at this one, i thought it meant no jumping into puddles. Then i realized that the figure was a dog.) "No skateboarding, no dogs off leash, no fireworks, no eating or drinking. No fun in the park at all. Don't even smile."

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"If you give birth in the park, name the baby Dust, and take it home with you." (The Mister and i speculated that the phrase "Take Dust Home," might have come from the word dust bin. I can't explain why a stork was used as the image.)

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I'll just leave it up to your imaginations what i thought when i saw this sign. In my defense, i was so tired as to be giddy. I laughed so hard i was crying, even though it wasn't that funny. Clearly, i need psychological help.

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"If you ride your bike here, it will piss everyone off and bring shame to your ancestors."

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This from the side of an escalator. That kid sure doesn't look Japanese.

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"If you get your hands caught in this door, you will cry loudly and bring shame upon yourself and your ancestors."

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We didn't eat here. I hear the food tastes like shit.

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"900 meters to the Ghibli Museum." This is for all you Miyazaki fans out there. The museum was great.

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On the trains, this was to indicate to whom you should yield your seat. Although why that second man is carrying a beach ball-shaped speaker is a mystery.
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"If you drop your hat down upon the railroad tracks, do not jump down to retrieve it. Inspector Gadget will fetch your hat for you."