Monday, April 15, 2013

It will never happen

I want an apology.

I want you to apologize for lying to me, after promising several times that you would NEVER lie to me again, after being caught lying.

I want you to apologize for having sex with me, after having sex with someone else, such that i had to get tested for STDs.

I want you to apologize for that vacation in Hawaii, where you were lying the whole time, and planning your escape.  You retroactively ruined that vacation for both me and Em. where i had thought we had a good time.

I want you to apologize for lying to me, even when you were leaving.I don't want you to apologize for leaving, as i know you think you have found your Soul Mate, but for the way you left, making it easy for you, and the hardest for me.  You owed me more than that.

You are a coward.


jaded said...

Yup, yup, and definitely yup. You deserve better, friend.

By the time he apologizes, if he does so will still hold the significance of genuine repentance?

Lynnea said...

Raw and truthful. "Coward" - yes. I suspect getting the apology does not matter now as much as you being free and able to speak your mind, throw the sh*t back to the responsible party.
It's good to feel the fight in you in this post.
You do deserve better.

Bob said...

what a creep. I wouldn't trust his apology - should one appear - to be sincere. were he capable of regret he wouldn't have treated you (and Em) as he did in the first place. you gave him every opportunity to do the right thing, but he didn't take them.

he didn't deserve you.

mischief said...

Ugh. People can be so disappointing, especially people who have vowed not to be. It's frightening, really, how vulnerable we have to be when we trust people not to act like donkeys. I hope your ex-donkey realises at some point what he has lost, and that by the time he does you have found a new kind of happiness that makes his absence painless and insignificant.

Anonymous said...

I am impressed with how succinct you can be about your pain and what you'd wish to see from him in terms of amends. Good for you.

I hope your heart heals very soon.

luckyzmom said...


Anonymous said...

I want to say something but nothing I say will make it stop hurting for you. You have to find a way to do that. Sending hugs woman.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...


You have every right to demand an apology.

Therese said...

I'm so, so sorry Meno. Sorry for Em, too. You're not going to get an apology. Not the kind you want or need. He's never going to take a portion of your pain onto his own shoulders. He would never be able to beat himself bloody enough with contrition to remove your anger at what he's done, and when you consider he has no intention of being sorry, that makes it more hopeless.
Are you seeing a therapist to help you through this? This is huge stuff. You need support here. If I remember right you wouldn't be expecting a lot of that from your family.
I want to help. I'm grown so attached to you over the years. I'm babbling now, sorry.

luckyzmom said...

When I was in your shoes several decades ago (4) a therapist told me I didn't believe I deserved to be happy. So, you are continuing to allow him to hurt you. STOP! So you thought the "Tiger" had changed his spots when in fact you were wearing rose colored glasses.

We all care about you and know you are an amazing woman. We want you to realize that and come back to us because we miss you. Me, I do.

Anonymous said...

I never did like him, anyway.

I mean, I didn't know him but still.

You live in a beautiful city in beautiful state and you have a wonderful daughter and talent and a sense of humor and compassion and intelligence.

You got this.