Thursday, May 23, 2013


I learned a new word this week.  Incel.  It's an interwebs word for "Involuntary Celibacy".  

Yeah.  Look it up.

I have been referring  to myself as a Born Again Virgin.

I miss sex.  I know exactly the time i last had sex.  It was in Hawaii.  Over two years ago. It was good.  But, i guess, maybe only for me.  I didn't know at the time that it was the last time i would be having sex for a long time.

Two weeks later my not-yet-ex husband left me.  Two weeks without sex.  He was distant and uninterested.  I let it go because....tolerance.  But now i know why.

Yes, i suppose i could go out and get laid.  But i don't work that way.  I need to know a person in order to have sex with him.  (Yeah, sadly, i am heterosexual.)

Someday i hope to begin again.  Maybe sooner rather than later.


colleen said...

I went a whole year once, a purging of a wrong marriage, and then when it did happen, WOW,even a long gaze seemed like full consummation. But then again, I was only 36 then.

Good to catch up and see you are still blogging.

Anonymous said...

It'll happen and surprise you. In the mean time there's always vibrators:)

jaded said...

DIY is functional yet devoid of intimacy.

I've been out of the dating pool for so long, I'm not sure how I would feel about going back. I don't think hooking up is bad, just not sure if I could handle it. I could deal with non-relationship sex, but I'd prefer some kind of connection.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I was never really able to have sex without an emotional involvement, although I tried a couple of times. There is someone wonderful out there who will be thrilled to finally find you, and I do hope it's soon.

Mrs4444 said...

It's too bad you don't have a friend-with-benefits. Good luck. Miss you :)

Mrs. Chili said...

I sometimes think we look at sex the way we look at money; it's not a big deal unless you don't have any.

This, too, shall pass.

luckyzmom said...

Sex is good for your health. DIY is a good alternative.

Therese said...

Oh write me, dammit.

Lu said...

Despite how we are built, it boils down to moments in time. It's ok to let go of long held "standards" if they are being held out of habit. Hold firm to principal, stay open to opportunity. I hope you are getting out, opening up and letting go of everything, even the bitterness. That bitterness is a bitch to let go of, but it only prolongs our agony;with I'm still struggling to let go of the dredges and what I hang onto just gets in my way. Love you Meno!