Monday, November 14, 2016

My stomach hurts

Another memory from long ago.

I spent two weeks in the hospital when I was 11 after an accident involving a fish tank and a laundry tub.

While I was recovering, one hand all wrapped to hell with the injury, and the other hand immobilized with an IV, my stomach hurt a lot from all the medications and surgery, and probably fear and shock.

I wanted someone to place their hand on my hurting tummy to comfort me.  I wanted my mother to place her hand on my hurting tummy.  She did, sometimes.  It felt good and soothed me.

I feel that way right now.

I am a rich, old, white woman.  Our new president cannot really hurt me.  I will not need an abortion. I can afford to fly my daughter to another country should she need one (unlikely, see below). I can afford health care. I am no longer harassed by men in the street.

But i am sick with this.  My daughter, who is (mostly) gay is afraid.  So am i.  I can't sleep.  I have been donating $ to Planned Parenthood and the ACLU and RAINN, and one other that i have not selected yet.  

I am a habitual NPR listener.  I have not turned my radio on in 6 days.

I went to a rally yesterday.  I have never dome such a thing in my life.  When Bush won, and then Bush won, and then Gore won, but Bush became president, i was bummed, but not gutted.

Thanks for listening.  I know i am not alone.


Anonymous said...

Definitely not alone. When my partner crawled in bed at 2:30 am on election night and didn’t try to wake me, I knew.

I’ve been in a fog. Living in a red state is pretty fucking lonely right now. Statistics say eighty percent of my neighbors think I’m nothing more than a hole and words no longer matter.


meno said...

Yes. A hole. A slot machine. I feel like we have elected Hitler.