Friday, June 23, 2017

I miss books and movies

I can no longer consume most media entertainment.  

I can't read much.  As soon as the story gets even the tiniest bit stressful, i put the book down until enough time has passed that i no longer care about the story.  Sometimes this takes months. I have been a reader all my life, but not now.  It feels too hard. I miss reading.

I was just watching a stupid dragon movie, one for kids basically, and as soon as the evil person plot twist arrived i hit pause.  It upset me. I wonder if i will ever finish watching.

I have heard lots about the popular TV/Netflix/HBO/etc shows, but i can't watch them, they make me sad. They all seem to be about scary situations, or unpleasant people, or both.  

It's all about managing anxiety, i think.  It feels like life is stressful and scary enough without watching/reading things that make me have feelings.

I am barely balanced. It takes just the slightest push to tip me over. I work hard to protect myself from the world.  

This cannot be normal.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't know what normal is in a universal sense, it seems to be relative to the individual using the word. As for managing anxiety, it's good to seek help when it becomes overwhelming and avoidance ceases to be effective.