Monday, October 02, 2006

Utter foolishness

Today we are going to do a craft project that will save you lots of money on Halloween decorations.
You will need:

1.) ass gaskets stolen from any public bathroom. (The brand name for these is "REST ASSURED" I am not joking.)
2.) scissors
3.) marking pen

Separate the round hole part from the rest and fold the rest in half.

Cut the rest part into the shape of ghost hands. Unfold. Draw some eyes on the round part. Go find another pen because this one is dry. Be careful that the pen doesn't "bleed" onto anything when you draw.

Draw a mouth and some eyebrows. And there you have it:
Suitable for taping in the windows so the neighbors will know how creative and cool you are. And all for free. Feel free to get creative with face and hands. Martha Stewart has nothing on me.

And or course, i cannot finish without telling you that this post was inspired by Antonia's cat's ass elephant.


Imez said...

Well, now you're just freakin' awesome.

My whole life I've been looking for a term like "ass gasket." You give me that, PLUS something to make with an ass gasket. Thank you. Oh, Meno, thank you.

Anonymous said...

This is appropriately frightening, in an e coli fecal bacteria kind of way.

Anonymous said...


This tops my paper towel ghosts ... by MILES. Rest Assured. :-)

Are you trying to tell us something? Can we expect to see you hosting a craft show on Public TV soon?

SUEB0B said...

That is just fabulous. I linked over at Linkateria.

Mother of Invention said...

This is too cute! Will you come in my Gr. 3 class to teach this one?!! (We may have to re-name them! I don't want to get fired yet!)

thailandchani said...

LOL! Too funny! I always thought there must be some alternative use for those things!

Thailand Gal

Bobealia... said...

You know what that is? That is The Cat's Me'Ass!!! Plus, the ass gasket is all yours - yes, it's all yours.

urban-urchin said...

antonia should be proud.

Lynnea said...

Ass Gasket! I'm still rolling around on the floor. Is that Assper the friendly the ghost? You know, if you cut the hands just one step more, that ghost could be flipping your neighbors the big one!

Josephine said...

That cat ass elephant WAS inspiring. I swear, she became my hero when I saw that!

Now, you have taken her place :)~

I just love how Halloween brings the creative out of every nook and cranny and toilet!

LOL very cute.

Mignon said...

Sweet! I knew there was something cool to do with those. When I'm on the can with the kids I put them around their heads so I can deal with tampons in relative peace.

karmic said...

LOL.. that's totally funny. I loved how simple thngs can be turned in to Halloween decorations.

Dick said...

That's a very creative use of a rather mundane product! You have also done a great job of laying out the process with photos and directions so that even the most craft deficient among us should be able to make one.

meno said...

esereth, you are welcome. It's all part of my campaign to make the world a better place. :)

marian, BOO!

jennifer, isn't that the best brand name? Yes, i'm trying to get my own show. Next week, how to make a bong from a paper towel tube.

suebob, why, thank you for helping to spread the beauty.

mother, i think you can handle it with the third graders, as you can tell, i am busy with important things. Ha!

thailand gal, glad you enjoyed them. They crack me up.

bo, *sniff* I'm so proud. Is there a Cat's Me'Ass award?

urban-urchin, i aim to make her proud of me!

maggie, Assper, the VERY friendly ghost. You are funny! I told you to get creative with the hands, good idea. You make one and let me know how it goes.

josephine, no one can take antonia's place, but thank you. Think i could make one of these in the talent part of the Miss America Pageant?

mignon, another great use for the ass gasket!

sanjay, I'm glad you enjoyed them, now you make one and decorate your place!

meno said...

oh, and dick, maybe you can impress your new girlfriend with one. :)

Anonymous said...

Love it,love it, love it!
My girls want in on the fun but we don't have " Rest assured " here in Qu├ębec. Yep! We get to rest those butts of ours right smack in the urine of strangers. Downright uncivilized....

Anonymous said...

Meno, I haven't heard the term ass-gasket in years! Thank you for reminding me of it. The craft is cute, too.

Andrea Frazer said...

OH MY GOD. I am inspired to try something myself. And thanks for the link to Antonia. Ha!!!!!!!!

Bob said...

Hah! I had always called notebook paper hole reinforcers ass gaskets. This is a much better use of the term.

I am conducting an experiment. I have completed your excellent craft project and have posted it - at work. The experiment will be to see how many people figure out what it is made of.

(so far, two out of two).

And yes, I think this would totally earn you the talent award at the Miss America pagent.

meno said...

caro, what a lovely image, the urine of strangers. You might need to obtain one elsewhere, but the purloined gaskets are the best.

holly, glad to be of service!

mamap, bring it on, and take pictures. And you are welcome, antonia rocks.

D-man, Glad you liked my art. I hadn't realized that ass gaskets are primarily a US phenomenon.

bob, i used to put these up at work too. People either laughed or were horrified that i would put such a thing up on the wall. It's kind of a sense of humor detector. Take a picture and post it.

Teri M. said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhaahahahaha, whew, ha.
(no need to reply to my dorky guffawing. heh)

Antonia Cornwell said...

Right. Next time I come to Seattle, I want an afternoon of making things with you. Brilliant.