Friday, March 30, 2007

Because Esereth asks.....

The always clever Esereth made up her own meme and then tagged me with it.

The last conversation I had with my mother- She called me last week to ask where i stay when i visit Cannon Beach. They won't be able to stay there though as it is up a steep hill and there are many steps down to the beach and my mother has had 4 knee replacement operations. (No, my mother isn't a dog, but she can be a bitch.)

The last conversation I had with my father- Sadly, i don't remember. He isn't really allowed to answer the phone and when we are all together no one can get many words past my mother, who answers for him. He has trouble hearing so she just jumps in and makes him look like he's feeble-minded.

Do you regret the person or manner in which you lost your virginity?- Yes. Sigh. I should say more i suppose. It wasn't my idea and there was hitting.

The thing your parents never found out about.- Where do i begin? I learned early not to tell them anything that i didn't have to. So here is a partial list; dope smoking, drinking, leaving the house late at night and wandering the streets, happy events, sad events, the three watches of my mother's that i threw in the lake in fits of pique.

How much do you spend a month on groceries.- We eat at restaurants a lot. I don't really know. I never feel bad about buying good quality food though, because it would sure cost much more at a restaurant.

The last lie you told.- I ran into someone that i had hoped not to ever see again two nights ago. She wanted to chat. I said i had to run to catch a bus. I did have to catch a bus, but i had a few minutes. Her lie was "I'll call you."

How often are your comments on other blogs made out of obligation?- Rarely or never. I almost always have something to say, and if i don't, then i don't. I like to comment on my regular reads. And, to paraphrase Esereth, if it's alway a chore then it's time to stop reading. I'll admit i have a hard time commenting on poetry. Not because i don't like it, but because i never know what to say.


Special K ~Toni said...

I think we were friends in high school! I did my fair share of partying.

I am commenting because I WANT to , just so you know!

jaded said...

Sorry to read number 3. *thoughtful pause* Earlier, I was thinking about a statistic I read 15yrs ago in a newspaper. It said X% (can't remember the exact number, but I shuddered when I read it) of women will be sexually harassed, molested or assaulted by the time they turn twenty five. I remember thinking to myself at sixteen, well I'm glad that's out of the way...I was naive.

A lie for a lie. I like it.

Lynnea said...

Taking note of poetry non-comment reasoning. If stunned to silence, this could be an excellent indicator of positive effect. Perhaps. I am sorry for number 3 too. All those things you did that your parents didn't find out about, I wish I had done. I was always too scared to try anything.

Lucia said...'re in troouubble. Now your mom is going to find out and, oh, I just can't watch!

gary rith said...

'there was hitting'???????!!!!!!????

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your number three as well. I was lucky enough to get away.

Conversations with your dad sound all too familiar, down to the hearing loss bit.

I won't tell your folks a thing. *pinkie promise*

meno said...

toni, i didn't really party, i just did those other things with a few people. Thanks for the comment. :)

patches, thanks.....i think the statistic is 1 in 5. So look around because it's us.

maggie, how many ways can i find to say "Wow, that was cool"? Which is usually what i am thinking.

lucia, you're not gonna tell her are you? 'Cause if you do i'm telling about that time that you took money out if her purse!

egan said...

Ha, I love the lie thing and how she lied back to you. Those awkward moments when you see someone you don't want to chat with kind of suck for both parties.

Amen, you can't put a price on good produce and healthy options. Well said.

meno said...

gr, unfortunately there was. And i was too young and dumb to know what to do.

nancy, i'm glad you did. thanks for not telling!! I'd probably get grounded.

amusing said...

#3 -- me too. Bruises on my neck and arm. Was it before I was 25? Maybe just after. You know, long virginity and all....

thailandchani said...

Funny! I also learned to not tell my parents things, especially anything that was really important to me. To me, it would have been sharing. To them, ammunition.

And I'm commenting because I want to comment. LOL I also enjoy commenting ~ even more than blogging sometimes.



Lynnea said...

Actually I totally understand and you don't ever have to comment unless you really really want to. I'm just happy you read them.

Mother of Invention said...

I am really wishing your initiation into sex was so horrible and degrading. It'snot that wonderful under the best of circumstances but that's too terrible for me to imagine.

Did your mom ever ask what happened to those watches? Did it make you feel good at the time?!!!

I can't fib, lie whatever very well so I don't usually don't try. I do exaggerate though!

Can your dad not get hearing aids?It could make a huge difference. I just got them last week and they help a lot! I know how out of it he must feel.

I'm like Thailand Gal...I like leaving comments sometimes better than blogging.

Mignon said...

Meno, I'm so sorry about your assault. I guess as kids we protect ourselves by pretending it's okay or normal or whatever, then 20 years later we finally process it. I think I'm having a moment like you did in your last post. If I were there I don't think I'd hug you, but I would sit quietly and understand.

I found this website that shocks and informs...

meno said...

egan, i think she maybe meant it, but i don't think it will happen. I love good organic produce. A great thing about this city, there's lots available.

amusing, once you admit it, lots of people come out with a similar experience. Which really really sucks. I'm sorry. I was 17.

chani, ammunition is EXACTLY the right word. Why would i give bullets to the enemy? I like commenting and answering my comments. It's all about the connection.

maggie, you are sweet. Sometimes, like today, i just want you to know i was there.

moi, me too. My mother thought maybe crows carried them off. Shiny things and all. My dad has hearing aids, he has for years. They are not as useful in crowded rooms because of the background noise. He is really quite deaf.

mignon, thank you. Understanding is all i really seek, in this lonely world. I will look at the website when i am feeling a tad less raw. Talking about this hurts. Hiding it hurts more.

Lynn said...

I don't think that your "Last lie you told" really constitutes a lie. You had to run to catch the was just a slow run. If the other woman wanted to interpret it as a fast run, then that was her interpretation...not your lie. I am not surprised to hear that you don't feel a sense of obligation to comment on other peoples blogs, you strike me as someone who chooses what she does and doesn't do.

luckyzmom said...

I hear you.

luckyzmom said...

I mean I'm listening.

Girlplustwo said...

i think i know your mom and another incantation, that is.

hitting. the bastard. love you.

Bob said...

I am constantly surprised when someone I know tells me of their being raped/molested/whatever. I can't conceive of why or how someone does that to another. I guess I can intellectually, but I can't process it emotionally. I am so sorry you had to endure that.

My parents don't have any idea of my "shennanigans". What they don't know doesn't hurt them.

I do feel a tendancy to be obligated to comment, I don't want someone to think I am not reading their blog. It can be an effort for me to write mine sometimes and I want others to know I appreciate their blogging efforts.

meno said...

lynn, i like your interpretation. I didn't lie, i just let her believe that i was in a bigger hurry.

luckyzmom, thank you. :)

jen, these parents are apparently standard issue from the parents of a certain generation store. And thank you. :)

bob, it is so sad that whenever this topic comes up, that there are so many "me too"s. I like people to know that i was there reading too.

Andrea Frazer said...

"No, my mother isn't a dog, but she can be a bitch."

I see a future tee shirt.

Anonymous said...

I am also struck by how many women have been the victims of sexual assaults and worse. I think you're brave to be so honest about it though. You're quite a woman, Meno!

Joan said...

I'm in awe of your candidness in discussing some of these obviously sensitive and painful events and issues. You're one very brave woman.

amusing said...

I watch the ads for that hearing aid where the angry wife tells the husband to turn down the tv; then he gets Super Aid or whatever it's called and he can hear fine, even eavesdrop on the lady next door.

I sometimes wonder if I should call the 800 number and have them send info to my parents....He doesn't think he has a problem, she barks at him about the sound level on the tv. Oh, it's a joy to visit, let me tell you!

Mother of Invention said...

My hearing aids have a program that turns down the background noise and just focuses on right in front of you but maybe your dad;s hearing loss is too profound to have that work. I feel for him because I know what it's like to be exccluded from what's going feels so isolating. Poor guy.

Like Bob, it still sometimes shocks me to hear/read of how often abuse has happened, but I'm glad that we have the blogasphere in which you can reach other people and allow them to express their own similar experience and perhaps not feel so alone in this. You are such strong people to be able to move on and have processed this in the most positive way you could.

It begs the questions of what we can all do to prevent this from happening so much? And, how can we bring the people who assault to face the cosequences of their actions? It would be nice to know we're at least making some inroads into some sort of solution.

Anonymous said...

I love the lie. I do that all the time. Life is too short to be saddled with people who take up your time instead of filling it.

meno said...

mamap, you can steal the idea for your ebay store!

platypus, i don't think i am brave. Whenever i talk about this, which is not very often, the other people (not just women) (hi bob) who have a similar story to tell make me feel not so alone. And pissed off too.

joan, naw, hiding something that happens to so many people makes it that much more powerful. I want to take the power away.

amusing, i hear you sister. At least my dad fully admits his hearing loss.

moi, i've never discussed the intricacies of his hearing aids with him. They do have enough money to buy some really good ones though, thankfully. I try and think what might have gotten me out of my situation. Being a more assertive person. But that was NOT who i was at 17, especially with a boy i liked.

ortizzle, exactly. That's why i had to run for the bus. :)

urban-urchin said...

Oh Meno, I was 17 (and then 25) too. I'm sorry.

The thing about your mother not being a dog made me laugh out loud.


QT said...

I am late on this post. I too am sorry about your number 3 and while I never had that experience, two people very, very close to me did and I can't imagine that being the first time!

Also - I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Cannon Beach!