Thursday, October 18, 2007

Late and Hate

Ever one to jump on a bandwagon, even if i am late to the party, here is a picture of Em feeding at the boob of Meno. Look at my big hand with her tiny fingers curled around it. I just love this picture. I loved breastfeeding. You can see the presence of cats in our life has been constant. This is Eliot. He was a great cat. He died when he was 16, and Em was 10. God i loved him.

This is in reaction to Facebook, where a decision was made to pull off a picture of a breastfeeding woman because it was obscene. One comment was that it was akin to masturbating or defecating in public.

I couldn't find a picture of me masturbating or defecating (oh, the google hits i will get) so this will have to do.


I am having emotion today. I was sitting next to Em while she was driving on the way home from school. She pulled up at a stop sign to go left, and blocked the view of a woman trying to turn right. This is how this intersection works, she just needed to inch forward a bit more to see around Em.

She looked at me, in the passenger seat, and started swearing and calling Em a fucking bitch and flipped her off. I rolled down my window and she didn't like that so she sped off.

I am furious. The kind of anger that makes my chest heat up, my head feel pressure, my heart pound and then i want to cry.

She called my baby, my 16 year old new driver, who didn't do anything wrong, a fucking bitch. I want to rip out her heart with my bare hands and feed it, still beating, to her.

Rational, not. I know. But i now understand the situation of one of you, who was charged with felony assault because she threw her keys at a car that almost ran her and her two young boys down in a parking lot crosswalk. It could have been me.


Anonymous said...

nothing sparks that mother anger more quickly than the intentional infliction of pain on our babies.

while you were waxing poetic about the breast feeding and the kitty, I was noticing the oreo doublestuff package on the table. jeez, where's my mind?

Anonymous said...

woo hoo! I was numero uno! finally!

Bob said...

just the other day I pulled up to a stop sign to turn right. a truck immediately pulled up to the stop sign to turn left, and it pulled almost into the intersection, so as to be ready to pull out at the first break in traffic. consequently I couldn't turn right until they turned as I couldn't see on-coming traffic.

I didn't call them a fucking bitch.

(I wanted too. I was pissed, 'cause I had to wait a whole 30 extra seconds - AND there was no traffic coming my way, I could've turned - but didn't know that 'cause that fucking bitch, which I didn't call them, blocked my view.)

I too get angry quickly when someone threatens the kids.

Bob said...

p.s. I'm gonna report you to blogger for having an objectionable quarter of an inch of tit visible.

too bad you didn't have the other pictures, you could'a had a hat trick.

Anonymous said...

That's a lovely picture of the two of you. I can't believe someone was charged with felony assault for throwing keys after the driver almost ran them down. WTF!

flutter said...

I would have wanted to rip her face of and glue it to her ass how dare she scream at your baby?

Joan said...

What a sweet wonderful photo of mom and daughter. Who would ever think to call this picture obscene?!?!

Speaking of obscene, the behavior of that motoring b*tch was absolutely obscene. And good for Mama Bear for trying to protect and defend her little cub from such an awful human being.

meno said...

holly, it's completely irrational, this anger. If she had yelled at me, whatever, but NOT MY BABY! I didn't even notice the oreos. :)

bob, i'm glad you didn't swear at the other car. It might have been a new driver. I like the hat trick idea. :)

deb, i like the picture too. It;s sweet. And believe it, it happened.

flutter, yes, you know how i felt.

joan, some people are just odd and repressed. Yes. that woman was obscene. Good description.

Schmoopie said...

Em was obviously not in that person's "monkeyshpere."

How did it make Em feel? We all need to slow down and not sweat it if it takes us a few extra seconds to drive somewhere. Everyone is in such a damn hurry these days!

Girlplustwo said...

so much rage in our world. poor Em. poor you. and not fair now when you are more vulnerable, her going a bit farther.

not fair. am sorry, Meno.

Lynn said...

I got all weepy eyed looking at the picture of you and Em. It brought me back to the days when I nursed Elle, and then Ten. sigh

I can see that no matter how old our babies get, (even the ripe old age of 16), we still want to protect them, and rightly so! That driver is one cowerdly bitch to call Em that and then drive away. One can only hope that she kept looking in her rear view mirror for many miles, worrying that maybe you were coming after her. Would have served her right!

thailandchani said...

I like the picture! As for that driver, you know what? Some people really just need to grow up! What gives her the right to go around spewing her venom all over people like that?




sari said...

ooh, I was debating posting a picture of me breastfeeding #3 - and you couldn't even SEE anything in it.

I think I'm going to post it now.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

This summer, while I was heavily pregnant, a lady zoomed right by my toddler and me in a crosswalk. I followed her to a nearby Quizno's and chewed her out in front of the other restaurant patrons. A sandwich? It was worth nearly plowing down my son over a SANDWICH? This is why I rarely let my kid walk in parking lots now. My arms are KILLING ME these days carrying a toddler and a baby, but I do not care - that experience scarred me.

So. Um. Yeah. Actually, I think your reaction was rational.

meno said...

schmoopie, that was fascinating. I see what you mean. I will work to expand my monkeyshere. Em didn't notice. But later, when i told her how i was feeling, she said, "you are such s good mom." So that was nice, 'cause my mom hair was totally standing on end.

jen, eh, i'll be okay. I was just surprised at the depth of my silly rage.

lynn, i know, wasn't that a sweet time? I wish i had thought to take out my phone and pretend to take a picture of her. Then she would have had something to think about.

chani, i like the picture too. I have become much more patient as a driver since teaching Em.

sari, oh please do, i would love to see it. And congratulations. There just isn't anything more precious than a baby.

cagey, ah, you understand. I am s glad that you got the opportunity to bitch her out. I am having a vicarious thrill.

Liv said...

I'm with holly---hungry and preoccupied with your oreos, yo!

poor em. rage from nowhere is so hard.

Susanne said...

Sweet picture. Thank you for posting it.

I totally get the mama lion feeling. I eve have it when somebody dares to criticize my husband. Sometimes I can be quite ferocious. (And I once almost got myself into a fist fight with a man in the supermarket parking lot... My poor husband was horrified. Thankfully the man calmed down when I apologized. Ahem.)

Anonymous said...

our country's puritanical beginnings never seem far under the surface do they? people freak me out. as far as i'm concerned, the person who was offended by a feeding baby was the true perv.

and people in cars are scariest.

Mrs. Chili said...

Oh, MAN! I wish I had a nursing picture *I* could post on my blog - I'm not sure I have any and, even if I did, I don't have a scanner. DAMMIT!

And yes, every mother understands that adrenaline rush we get when we perceive our babies to be under threat. JUST. DON'T. GO. THERE.

Mrs. Chili said...

And wait a minute - are those DOUBLE STUFF OREOS in that picture! They may be the Universal Nursing Mommy food!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Holly, I saw the cookies! But look at you - you hardly look as though you've recently been pregnant, so cookie down, Mama.

I don't have any pictures of me breastfeeding, although I wanted one - something from above, over my shoulder that would capture what I saw. Guess I'll just have to view it in my mind's eye.

It's a good thing you were driving a regular car, not one of those Driver's Ed cars where the passenger has the controls, too. I can imagine you speeding after her!! And felony assault for throwing keys? I'd better learn to control my temper, because these scenarios run through my head any time there is a near miss.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

On a sidenote, I am curious why there is not more vigilante action on the part of parents. Actually, I think it is AMAZING there is not more of it. I have to confess (or maybe I should not?) that I am a little fearful of what I would do if someone every seriously harmed my kid. Throwing the keys? Damn straight, I could see myself doing that.

Daphne Enns said...

My husband used to say that if anyone ever asked me to stop nursing our children because they were offended that he would have to hurt them.

Next we won't be able to give birth vaginally since it's such a dirty thing...

peevish said...

How can anyone compare breastfeeding to masturbating or defecating??? Unthinkable. I'm not Christian, but it makes me wonder what they think Jesus drank as a baby?

I'm so sad that I don't have any photos of me nursing either of my kids. That is the downside of being the family photographer.

Also, I can completely under your rage, and it is totally righteous. Being charged with a crime for throwing keys at a reckless driver? How many keys were on that chain? 100?

ms chica said...

The photo tugs at my heartstrings, in a way they are seldom tugged. Americans are such prudes about nudity. I've spent hours in figure drawing classes, so I suppose a bare human body in many contexts (excluding child porn and related representations in which someone's rights have obviously been violated) hardly phases me anymore. I find politics more offensive.

Road rage, is just another reason I despise leaving the house. At least, Em, wasn't rattled other driver, and paid attention to what was important, the traffic. <3.

TTQ said...

You have inspired a blog post in me. I don't have kids but I often get angry when adults (who are suppose to know better) behave badly among and to kids. Not being able to have my own makes me that much more angry.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Ooh...the fingers curling around yours...sometimes I miss breast feeding! And the kitty on your lap, making sure everything's okay. That's a beautiful photo!

I'm a Big Ol' Mama Bear when it comes to my kids. It's all I can do to not go deck some kid when he tackles my son at soccer. Deck him and call him a pussy. Probably not very sporting of me, but you Don't. Touch. My. Kids.

karmic said...

I loved the picture and facebook is stupid to do this.

In a conservative country like India it is very common to see infants being breastfed in public, women will usually cover up if they feel like and people look away. There was nothing objectionable in the picture at all. People need to get a life.

I agree with how angry you felt for what happened to you and Em. If only people learned to be little gracious. I am glad you did not do anything violent.

peevish said...

understand. I meant "understand".
the one time I don't preview first. Gah.

fiwa said...

fiwa of the email from awhile back officially delurking. How ridiculous to compare a picture of a woman breastfeeding to masturbation. Jeez, can people get any more ridiculous? Don't answer that.

meno said...

liv, back away from the oreos bitch! Em didn't notice because i remained calm, on the outside.

susanne, it is my pleasure to share this picture. About the fisr fight, i would have totally bet on you!

franki, i know, where do they think we all came from?

mrs. chili, i wish you had one too. If you find one, send it to me and i'll scan it for you. Doesn't everyone eat Oreos while they nurse?

de, Em was a few weeks early, so i didn't get a chance to really pack on the weight at the end. As as someone recently said to me, we are all criminals in some way, some of us just haven't been caught yet.

cagey, it's kind of a miracle that there isn't more parent rage crimes. I could totally see myself throwing those keys too. Scary huh?

daphne, ha, next we won't be able to get pregnant vaginally because it's such a dirty thing!

peevish, Jesus drank Simulac, from a bottle. Much more sanitary. And without those nasty breastie things.

ms. chica, aww, you softie you. I love looking at it too, she was just so little and tiny and small. I find advertising more offensive anyday. Em was oblivious, which is a good thing.

ttq, i wonder how they think kids will learn to behave when adults can't/won't. I am glad that i didn't react badly in front of Em.

mona, i know, aren't the tiny fingers precious??? *squeal* I would not have been as angry if the woman had called me names. mama bear indeed.

sanjay, facebook is stupid. I wonder if they will ever change the policy. I'm not TOO likely to do anything violent....probably.

peevish, i didn't even notice the typo, that's how our brains work. We see what we expect, rather than what there is.

fiwa, well hi! I won't answer because we both already know...

Unknown said...

Maybe not rational, but completely natural. Mama G wouls have been cursing that woman under her breath for the rest of the day at the VERY least. You love Em, you're teaching her well, AND you set a good example by not acting on your 'manger' (a much more virulent form of anger- not to be trifled with).

Anonymous said...

I like the double stuff bag. And why shouldn't you have a snack while baby is eating?!?!

As to your anger, its amazing how much control we really do have over our selves.

Anonymous said...

People like that are the ones really responsible for road rage.

Tink said...

I don't have any pictures of me breastfeeding anyone. Although I'm sure Hoop would volunteer to play the baby. BUT, I did vlog Tink's tits today. I hope someone tries to make a stink. Let 'em try! ;)

Dick said...

I can't understand on what criteria it is determined what is or is not obscene anymore. I think that just watching the nightly news on TV anymore exposes people to much more obscene photos than anything as natural as breast feeding a baby.

As to the other driver, perhaps it can be a good lesson for Em showing how some people figure what is important in their lives. As someone else said, how vital is that few seconds anyway?

amusing said...

I breastfed the first for nearly a year, the second got some food in him after six months and thought that was a helluva lot tastier. So I was out and about breastfeeding a lot -- and was constantly worried I was going to get thrown into mall jail or something for indecency. I did get some glares along the way.

That Mother Lion surge is a powerful thing, huh? Heart-pounding, breath-grabbing, hair-prickling, sweat-inducing protective rage. I first encountered that when a nasty little boy was jumping on my tiny boy's head in a McD's ball pit. He wouldn't stop and I finally called him at bad boy -- at which point the idiot mother finally emerged from her park bench conversation and came over to rant at me about where I got off calling her kid bad. So I ranted back and called her bad and it went on from there.

Took me more than a week to come down off the adrenalin! Ick.

Mother of Invention said...

Precious picture and the cat just makes it all the more bonding with the whole feeling.

egan said...

I really don't get why Facebook is being so stupid about this. Makes me want to stop playing Scrabble on their damn site. It's just a freakin' boob used to feed your child.

They make it sound like masturbation is a bad thing, ugh. I like that you posted that shot. I've got so many of my wife like that. Must be crazy to look back on the breastfeeding pictures now that she's in high school.