Saturday, September 19, 2009

If you give a Meno a Cookie

I'm staring down a Star8uck's oatmeal cookie right now. I made the mistake of looking up the calorie count on the interwebs after i bought it and before i ate it.

400 calories, 65g of carbs. Wow. I've been in denial and it was a lovely place to visit. I think i stayed too long.

So the cookie is sitting next to me. The struggle is that it cost $1.49 (plus tax) and i hate to waste money. But then, at the end of the day, would i pay $1.49 (plus tax) to have eaten 400 fewer calories? I think i would. If only it were that easy, because what i actually have to do is much harder than spending money. I have to not eat the cookie.

Can she do it?

I don't know.....stay tuned.

The Mister somehow damaged his Visa card, so he called for a new one. When it arrived he got on the phone to activate it, and was puzzled when he got transferred to an actual human.

"Can you tell me what you use your card for? she chirped.

"To charge things," answered The Mister, thinking "WTF?"

"What kinds of things?" asked little Miss Ch*se Bank employee.

"I'm not willing to answer that. If you want to know, look it up in your records. Is my card activated?

"Yes, sir, your card is activated. We are trying to assess your spending habits in order to sell you shit you don't need better determine your credit card needs," responds Ch*se Bank employee, her accent becoming more pronounced.

"I'm going to hang up now. Bye." And he does.

"Let's cancel that credit card," is my helpful suggestion.

"Excellent idea!"

Fucking marketing.


Since when did the criteria for pulling in front of someone in traffic change from 'You shouldn't cause them to have to slow down' to 'If there's any possible way that they can slam on their brakes to avoid hitting you, go ahead???'

I must have missed hearing about that new law.


The cookie is still outside my stomach. For now.


Lynnea said...

Hey, that guy cut in front me the other day.

Isn't it disconcerting how invasive marketing is getting?

Disconcerting enough to make you want to eat a cookie. Eat it. You're retired. If you can't enjoy some misspent calories then what is retirement for?

--note: if you decide not to eat it, I'm supporting you 100%. ;)

Steph said...

You should eat the cookie. It will help the farming industry.

Daisy said...

Eat half the cookie. (Of course, if you stop there, you are much more restrained than I am...) You can eat the other half tomorrow. Cost averaging means 70 cents (give or take) for 200 calories. (Oh, that didn't sound like marketing, did it?)

Scott from Oregon said...

You get five cookies per day. BUT THAT'S IT!!

meno said...

maggie, i have enjoyed many many misspent calories in my retired life.

steph, if i don't eat the cookie do the terrorists win?

daisy, 200 calories for half a cookie? damn, cookies are expensive, in a calorie sort of way.

scott, exactly, then what happens to my beer allowance?

flutter said...

I just drooled thinking about that damned cookie, but I SO cannot eat one because of the sugarbetes.

So, you should eat it for me.

Cheesy said...

Donate to the homeless?

Anonymous said...

I have accidentally gotten store credit cards that are financed through that bank and I always cancel them. They are THE worst I have ever encountered.

Sorry about the cookie. I won't take sides. I finally put batteries in my scale and while I kind of knew, based on the waistband of my pants, I have a slight case of shock.

Dianne said...

large corporations build consumer profiles all the time, I find it so intrusive

ever notice that right after you order something online you start getting e-mail ads for all sorts of related products

Happy Happy Belated Birthday!!

as for the cookie - well, do what makes you feel good

Clowncar said...

I, as you know, dearly love banks.

After Skank of America decided they would allow us to send them money every month, they turned around and sold our name (and other info, such as the size of our mortgage) to all sorts of folks, who now send us offers daily.

How's that cookie doing?

meno said...

flutter, stupid diabetes!

cheesy, you homeless? :)

de, they do indeed appear to be the worst. When my bank failed and was taken over by Chaste Bank, i closed all my accounts and moved to a local credit union. Much better interest rate too.

dianne, oh yeah, i've noticed that. I hate the AmaZ0n suggestions for the same reason. Creeps me out.

clowncar, Bastards! The cookie is still intact. It's a miracle i tell you.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I don't know about Washington State but in San Francisco, the rules of the road are that there are none. Everyone but me has the right of way at all times. We live in a me-first world and it's enough to drive a person to cookies. I have become a most creative cusser and hone my skills every day behind the wheel.

Cheesy said...

Gads gurlie.. almost lol

Dick said...

I'll go in reverse order:

Traffic up here where I live is more like wherever I go I get stuck behind one or more pokeydiddlers. It is damned frustrating how I always seem to find then going to wherever it is that I also want to go.

That bank. I'd guess you were moved to them from WaMu. I still feel stung by that event of about a year ago. Very costly. I wouldn't bank with them and sort of distrust most of the big commercial banks. Find a nice, fairly small friendly credit union.

Ah, the cookie. I have been really trying to loose weight and those things don't help. I think my biggest problem at 4-bucks is their glazed old fashioned donuts. They are too good. But I just don't buy them anymore, and I've gone down to just a tall drink almost all the time rather than a grandee. Does it work? I don't know but at least I have not been gaining any more weight over the last couple of years.

nick said...

I'm one of those disgustingly self-disciplined eaters who's been the same healthy weight for a good eight years, so all I can say is, work out what's an okay amount of unhealthy food per day and stick to it! And before you curse me, there are plenty of other things I'm not at all disciplined about....

The Topiary Cow said...

Not only the price ($1.49 would buy you several cookies in the grocery store) but the calorie count is horrifying.

Cow's solution to this is to have one bite and then leave it in the yard where the ants, possum or raccoons will enjoy it.

But then Cow is strange.


I can justify almost anything that contains sugar said...

If you boycott the cookie too long it will dry out and taste too bleh...and it won't benefit the children starving in africa to know you abstained.

Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...

I am still blown away by how many calories that cookie is. Wow. Just wow. Only wow. That is all. W.O.W.

Anonymous said...

It's a cookie. You're Meno. Eat. The fucking. Cookie.

Here, I'll eat a G0d!va bon bon in solidarity. Better?

meno said...

hearts, i want to put a grenade launcher on the front of my car, i swear i do!

cheesy, almost? i hope you at least smiled.

dick, ha ha! I love that word, pokeydiddlers. I notice that they are always driving Subaroos or Kamrys. I did relocate to a local credit union. Awesome maneuver.

nick, i am okay with my weight, but 400 calories??? That's ridiculous. Good for you for being disciplined. I admire that.

topiary cow, you are strange! But that's okay, so are the rest of us.

i can justify, heh, the old starving in Africa argument! Nicely done.

cagey, i know. Those cookies are forever ruined for me. Damn!

nancy, i wish i had remained ignorant. You know what they say about curiosity..... How was the chocolate?

ETK said...

Ignorance is bliss but makes you a fatty. I recently started weight watchers, last night I traveled to a city, checked into a doubletree and got my damn cookie. I couldn't resist, mainly because I was starving trying to conserve all my POINTS (I don't know why they capitalize and italicize them but they do, so I do) for dinner.

Anyway, ate it and am trying to be super honest on my tracking of said POINTS.

You wanna know how much that effing cookie was? SEVEN POINTS. SEVEN.

ONE-THIRD of all my daily points. I had to really scrimp on dinner.

I hate diets.

I hope you didn't eat the cookie.

not-so suburban momma said...

I hope you ate and enjoyed that cookie. Life is too short and you probably burned off all the calories debriefing from the phone call to the bank...

Gordo said...

Mmm, cookies! The higher the caolrie coutn, the better the taste. Trust me. :-)

luckyzmom said...

Cut the cookie in quarters, eat one quarter and freeze the rest for later. Never buy another 400 calorie cookie unless it is very heavy, then carrying it around for several hours will burn the 400 calories.

Anonymous said...

You have a $1.49 cookie that is 400 calories?! Wow, America is mean.

Anonymous said...

I know this is way late but I hope, sincerely hope that you and the Mister got through the struggle of Herculean proportions that is canceling that credit card.

colleen said...

I'm sure the cookie is history by now. I would cut it in half and eat it on two different days. I would try.

At least you didn't have ice cream with it, right?