Saturday, October 10, 2009

Crank Call

I got to give someone a well-deserved verbal dressing down the other day.

Man, it was FUN!

I was answering phones during a pledge drive at our local public radio station. They had just announced a special premium for a $250 donation. It was two tickets to come and sit in on a live taping of a show featuring Al Gore.

So the phones start ringing, including mine.

"Thank you for calling KUOW. Are you calling about the Al Gore tickets?"


I raise my hand in the air to make sure that caller dude gets one of the special stickers that denote this premium.

He continues talking;

"I wouldn't give warm spit to see Al Gore!"

I reach out with my hand to prevent the station worker from attaching the sticker to the pledge sheet i had begun to fill out.

"Never mind," i tell her, loud enough for the man on the phone to hear, "he's just calling to bitch."

The other people at my table start to pay attention. We all love a good cranky caller. We trade stories about them during the down times.

"So," i say, "you don't like Al Gore?"

"No!" says my caller. " I think he's a total fraud."

"And you felt so strongly about this that you called me, a volunteer on the pledge line, to complain about it?"

"Well, ah, yes"

"Seriously? I think that was a poor choice. What possible good do you think that will do? What a complete waste of energy."


"And what exactly would you like me to do for you?"


"Unless you are willing to give me you name and phone number so i can have someone from the station call you back, i'm going to hang up now."

(small voice) "Uh, okay. Bye."

My table mates were quite shocked that i had spoken to this man so sharply, and then hung up on him. But the lady from the radio station said, "You handled that really well!"

I was grinning! So, thanks Mr. Caller Dude. That was fun.


Mrs4444 said...

That must have been a blast. I love saying what's on my mind; it's so empowering. Nice job.

Miss you, Meno :) Sorry I've been so AWOL. Just so danged busy this year with my new position at school. It's good-busy, but still...sheesh!

flutter said...

what a total douche.

Daisy said...

So, I need to know if there's anyway to donate to those drives and remain completely invisible so that I don't get the calls and follow up mail that inevitably follow. You are my inside man. Um. Woman. Er, person.

nick said...

Wow, what an intelligent, perceptive, illuminating criticism - "I think he's a total fraud". Give that man a peanut. Good for you cutting him off and not indulging his mindlessness.

Anonymous said...


I got uncharacteristically irate with a representative from a bank, and I've been having trouble shaking that feeling. I totally forgot about making a payment, and they have an automated reminder system that calls...on the day the late payment goes into effect. That's a customer service? How about a call a couple days before?

Whoops, here I go again.

Idiots R A Surplus Commodity said...

People don't give a rip who they complain to as long as they get to complain. Seriously, why bother?

Anonymous said...

Excellent. Impersonal, succinct and rational. Sigh. Can you teach me?

Scott from Oregon said...

If I could do a Tennessee accent I'd call up and say "This is Al. Any messages for me?"

luckyzmom said...

Thank you for your service. You really should give lessons. I never think of the right thing to say until it is too late.

meno said...

mrs 4444, no worries, life comes before blogging every time!

flutter, indeed!

daisy, the station i go to claims not to call or e-mail based on the info given. But i do get begging letters via snail mail.

nick, i know, he was a brilliant social wit.

de, rant on, because that does suck, Assholes!

idiots, i have no idea why he felt compelled to do that, i really do not.

deb, i OCCASIONALLY get it right. Mostly with strangers.

Scott, ha ha hahah! You made me laugh!

luckyzmom, mostly i don't either, but every once in a while....

Anonymous said...

You continue to be my hero.

The Topiary Cow said...

Those were all really good points that you made on your call, and plus, it must have been fun!

Good for you!

Dick said...

You did good on that one. It looks like some people dial without really thinking as well as opening their mouths too soon, before engaging brain. Maybe he learned a lesson.

Cheesy said...


tt said...

to put it rock! and it's nice that you can find entertainment talking to f*cktards :)

sari said...

I love it. I can never think of any good retorts until about 4:00 the next morning.

Lynnea said...

How fun! It seems that volunteering to answer phones has its rewards! ;)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

This reminds me of an obscene caller I used to hear from regularly. He only had one line, which I thought was quite lame. After I got tired of hanging up on him, I demanded to know what ELSE he would like to do to me. He repeated his one line. I informed him that there was an entire smorgasbord of things he could want to do to a woman, why only that one? Long pause, then he meekly whispered his one line again. I lost patience and announced that I had had better obscene phone calls from 10-year olds. I never heard from him again.

Sometimes the telephone is a most marvelous invention.