Monday, September 27, 2010

Do you have a "Meno's Blog" discount membership card yet?

I get the idea of cross-selling, and i know that people in service industry jobs are required to do it, so i don't mind patiently saying "No thank you." several times during any sales transaction, but it seems to be getting totally out of hand.

I was at Barnes and Noble the other day, buying a birthday card for my dad.  Here's how it went:

Clerk: Will you be saving 10% with your Barnes and Noble member card today?
Me: No.
Clerk: Would you like to get a Barnes and Noble member card today?
Me: No thank you.
Clerk: Do you need a Barnes and Noble gift card to go with this card?
Me: No thank you.
Clerk: So you already have a gift then?
Me: (now i'm annoyed because really, is this any of her fucking business?) No, i don't like my dad enough to buy him a gift.
Clerk: (a little startled) Oh.

And at a restaurant two days ago:

Waitron: Can i get you anything to drink?
The Mister: Yes, a glass of Whatever Brand wine please.
Me: A glass of water please.
Waitron: No wine for you?
Me: No thank you.
Waitron: Are you sure? 
Me: Yes.
Waitron: But it's Happy Hour! The wine is half off.
Me: No thank you, i'd just like some water.
Waitron: (sadly) Okaaaay then, i'll leave the menu here in case you change your mind.
Me: (under my breath to The Mister) I wouldn't change my mind now if this was the last glass of wine on earth.
...a few minutes later, as she was delivering The Mister's wine...
Waitron: Are you ready for a glass of wine yet?
Me: (through clenched teeth) No thank you.


Also, to the guy who installed a pair of fake testicles dangling off the trailer hitch of his little Toyota pick up truck; Do you realize that what this says about you to the whole world is "I AM A COMPLETE JERK!" ?


No I do NOT want fries with that said...

Deja vu, only substitue the venus mentioned above with the post office... This is one of many reasons I detest doing business in person.

Taradharma said...

they probably have these lines drilled into them at I feel bad for the poor buggers. Having said that -- they did to back the FUCK off! Ever since Longs Drugs switched to CVS, they always try and talk me into one of those stupid discount cards, which are only spending trackers. They seem mystified that I don't want one. What is wrong with me?

ANd say, do you have a PROBLEM with wine, or what?

floribunda said...

the juice chain where I go for my oatmeal twice a week (it's the only thing I like there) seems to have an "annoy the customer" policy whereby they always try to cross sell. Why would I want a muffin with my oatmeal?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

You made me laugh out loud at your response to the nosy greeting card clerk. For that alone I would love you forever.

Are you sure the testicles were fake? Yes, of course he's a complete jerk in any case, but I am easily distracted.

flutter said...

um, wait I need to sign up for this discount card and so very clearly need some half off wine.

nick said...

It hasn't got quite that persistent over here, but that sort of "nudging" does happen regularly (I hadn't heard the term cross-selling). Would you like our store credit card? Would you like a side salad/ garlic bread/ dessert? No, no and again no. Just give me what I asked for and stop wasting my time.

Anonymous said...

Scarily, I believe some bloggers might actually take your idea and have give-aways based on frequent commenting.

I had some excellent customer service the other day. We were at the supermarket, and the cashier had no idea what the large, trimmed beet I had was. She kept passing it over for some other more recognizable produce, then eventually just gave it to me for free, most likely assuming that something that looks like a wad of dung ought to be free.

Had I bought the bunch with greens attached, I could have suspended them from the trailer hitch.

meno said...

no fries, i'm with you! Give me those automated checkout stations any day.

tara, i know they have to, but really, there's a limit to how much i can take. And yes, i CLEARLY have a problem with wine! :)

floribunda, or a shot of raspberry flavoring in my coffee (shudder!) or whipped cream and caramel on my tea! Blech!

hearts, wellll, i am PRETTY sure they were fake as they were not a color found in nature, but perhaps i should have examined them more closely...or not.

flutter, my membership card will be worth exactly nothing, but you will be required to carry it in your overstuffed wallet at all times.

nick, that's exactly how i feel. I ordered what i want and i want what i ordered, now piss off!

de, i sure hope you are wrong, but i can imagine such a thing. I had to laugh at your free beet, as i am always buying vegetables that confound the cashiers.

mischief said...

Oh those fake testicles are so ridiculous. What makes me laugh about them is that I presume they are meant to indicate the owner of the trailer, truck, whatever, thinks he has an extraordinary amount of manly testosterone. And yet, all things being relative, those steel balls are awfully tiny on those big vehicles...

ChrisinNY said...

Uh oh, so is the set of brass balls my daughter wants to hang inside her school locker also verboten?

Bunc said...

Or of course possibly they weren't actually fake testicles but simply a pair of furry mirror ornaments and it was your mind that made the connection? Which might suggest that your mind was on other things?

I'm only kidding.
Fake testicles ? Really?

meno said...

mischief, these were nice big plastic ones that were swinging in a very testicular way. They really are ridiculous.

chris, are they testicles or just brass balls? And that would depend on what message she wants to send and how old she is as that might make it her business~!

bunc, check out the link, or else search for "fake truck testicles." Yes. really!

Bunc said...

Checked out the link. Insane! - but kinda funny as a website. Not sure I'd be hanging a model of some guys nut-sack in my car though. It all sounds a bit too homoerotic for my taste.

I gather these things sort of well er swing like a Scotsman under his kilt?)

A bit in yer face isn't? ( excuse the pun )

Anonymous said...

Those testicles hanging off the back of trucks just scream low self esteem and small penis to me when I see them, probably the opposite effect that the men are hoping for:)

Cards, I hate em, make my wallet too heavy.

nick said...

Oh btw I'd like one of those Meno's Blog discount cards. And do I get fries with that?

Tracy Helgeson said...

Haha great post! All those pesky questions from the girls who work at Aeropostel, Delia's, etc drive me INSANE when I take my daughters shopping! I just want to pay for the stuff and leave, I do not want to hand out all my personal info and join some dumb club that might save me a few bucks if I spend another $250!!!!!!

meno said...

bunc, it is funny. And they do swing with a certain heft. Picture a bull running through a pasture.

lilith, exactly! Those membership and discount cards drive me crazy too. If i said yes to them all i'd need a much bigger purse.

nick, no fries, but you can super size it for 10% off.

tracy, it's like they think we can't actually do the math and figure out how little they are actually worth. Plus the bother of remembering to bring the right card to the right shop.

Dick said...

I've not been reading my blog list much, especially since it seems to have disappeared from my blog, but am trying to do a little catching up on those I like to follow. I hope the news from the biopsy a few weeks ago was good (you might have covered it an a later post but I've not tried to read all of them.)

As to the clerks/waiters bugging customers, I suppose they are told to do so in order to increase sales. I don't mind a question that relates to what I have ordered but if I really wanted their fancy charge card I'd probably have already applied for one. Many of the old fashioned in-store charge cards (Sears, etc) seem to have gone to their own Visa/MC cards. I have dropped them. I only have one charge card and don't want any others, thanks. Pat was recently sent an American Express card to replace her Macys charge. It has been shredded before being activated, which will never happen.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

AMENAMENAMEN!!!! I was attacked by a Frontier Airlines credit card sales person in the airport last week. "No" is not in their vocabulary. Neither are several other words, apparently. ;P

*does the complete jerk dance*

I saw the same set of testicles hanging off of a truck hitch the other night and thought... "Really? REALLY?!?! Are you COMPENSATING for something, you completely disgusting moron?" It was one of the grossest things I've ever seen.
Ew. Just EW.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Lynnea said...

maybe you could start answering the salespeople in agreeance, only at random. So to the Barnes and Nobles, "Yes, I'll take a glass of your best Merlot!" And at the restaurant, "Can you gift wrap that for me?" Oh the looks on their faces.

Mrs4444 said...

Um...I think that's "I'm a complete DICK," not jerk.hahaha (I just love that I'm the first to say that!)

I agree. They can keep there damned on-line coupons to themselves, too, thank you very much!

sari said...

I was so bothered at the car wash recently with the guy trying to sell me extras that I complained and they gave me like $5 off. Stupid guy. I just got the feeling that because I was a woman with a toddler he thought he could talk me into anything and it irritated the crap out of me.

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised the guy at B&N didn't offer to put you on their mailing list. That's a common request.

My response anymore is to look around and point to someone else in the store, tell them that is my caretaker and that, given the nature of my disability, they should consult that person concerning any offers beyond the simple exchange of money for product. Works every time . . .