In which i am an addict

When the going gets tough, the tough do research.

I am going through actual physical withdrawal, according to things i've read.  There are hormones that we produce when we are in a relationship that are as powerful as heroin. And when that relationship is suddenly over, we go through withdrawal.

The symptoms can include:

• pounding heart - yep
• flushed face - yep
• panic attacks - yep
• feelings of doom - yep
• sweaty palms - yep 
• frequent peeing - yep
• dry mouth - yep

and various other unpleasant things, not all of which apply (thank you for THAT).


For some reason it helps me to know this.  I am in withdrawal from the soon-ex.  There is an actual physical reason for these symptoms that i cannot get to go away by sheer force of will.  There is nothing wrong with my willpower.  I am not idealizing him, far from it.  I just have to get through this, cold turkey, so to speak.


I went downtown last night to see a "conversation" with Joyce Carol Oates with 2,500 of my closest friends.  She lost her husband to death a few years ago, and, as she is a prolific writer, she wrote a book about it.  As she was talking about her experiences, they touched very closely upon mine.  It was both timely and disturbing.  But ultimately helpful.