Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Quick, because Project Runway is about to start

Em did tell "a few people" today about her sexual orientation. I didn't get much information about it because one of the rules of parenting is: If you act too interested, they'll clam up immediately. So i just casually asked as she was showing me her rainbow ribbon bracelet in honor of the day. I'll bet her friends just went, "well duh!". So far, a non event.

(But i did find out that her 19 yo cousin, my nephew, and a few of his moronic friends, called Em last night at midnight while drunk and asked her to send videos of her making out with her girlfriend. This pisses me off, as it did Em. But i am to pretend that i don't know this at the request of Em. Little bastard. This will be difficult though, as her GF lives over 2000 miles away. HA!)

The Mister just got a supoena in the mail because the pinhead who ran into him is contesting the two tickets that he got as a result of the accident. (One for failure to stop at a stop sign and the other for driving with no insurance.) The Mister has to testify about the accident. I am dying to know what the hell a person can contest about not having insurance.

Working on a book meme from antonia. I've never been tagged before so this is a big moment for me! Since books are of no small importance to me, i want to do this right. Gotta go now.


Dick said...

One of the reasons people sometimes ask for a court date on those kind of things is they are hoping the police officer will not be there. If that happens, it sometimes gets thrown out of court. My son says these things are often settled just before court when the guilty party realizes everyone is there. With witnesses there isn't much he/she can say about it, so they will then plead guilty. Kind of frustrating for the witnesses who have bothered to show up, but it is part of what makes our court system work pretty well over all.

Elliot said...

I was the recipient of a dismissal because a cop didn't show up, which was a good thing because I was actually innocent. So, Dick speaks the truth.

And, your comments line now reads, as of now, "2 pearls of wisdom". I spend a lot of time making sure that plurals get born. It's what I do.

Bobealia... said...

She should send them some male gay porn with a picture of two women on the front.

Anonymous said...

I guess I never take into account just how stupid others can be, which is why my rose-colored glasses are so worn out and my chin is always scraped from being dragged back up off the ground.

I love that Antonia did the book meme AND that she tagged you. Although I'm WAY behind in my reading, I'm always looking for more to put on my list. Winter's coming.

Mignon said...

Is this the 19 yo good-for-nothing cousin that we're supposed to feel sympathetic towards because he doesn't have his life figured out yet? Because I'm not feeling especially sympathetic when he makes harrassing calls to a minor...

Bob said...

I remember being 19 and being embarrassed when guys would say shit like that. Even then I couldn't understand treating girls like that.

My daughter is 19 and has recently told us she thinks she's gay. I don't know if she's told her friends (or anyone else), but last week she was asked to de-pledge a sorority because they had a rule about "relationships" between sorority sisters. Her best friend was pledging too. The sorority asked her point blank if she and her friend were in such a relationship. They both said they weren't, and were then asked if they would later. They both said they didn't know. She was hurt and didn't understand their attitude.

I don't know if my daughter is gay or just going through what others have previously said here - experiencing an emotionally intense closeness with a female friend. She's at the age where she is still trying to define her sexuality.

This experience just shows that there is intolerance even in an environment that is supposedly all about growth and discovery.

I hope that your daughter fairs better.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Bob, for your daughter. Whereas there are reasons for disallowing romantic relationship in tight communities, like workplaces and sororities, given the possibility of the love curdling and the resultant fallout, people fall in love everyday in workplaces and other tight arrangements...and the work proceeds and life goes on. I believe it's homobigotry, especially given how promiscuity is promoted in many sororities, via keggers and beer pong. It's great to read of so many loving parents. I recently was walking down the street and saw a hot young lesbian approaching me. She wore every accouterment of gaydom. Then she embraced me, wrapped her arms around me and clung.

And she said, "Oh, Miss XXX, I've missed you so much. We all do."

I realized then that she was a former student.

So, we talked and she told me how her mother had tossed her from her home. Imagine being abandoned/rejected/refused by your mother.

So, I'm grateful that there are so many loving parents out there, parents who parent by love and not homobigotry.

Thanks, meno and Bob.

amusing said...

I wonder if perhaps we are beginning to see fallout from all the "stranger warning" training we do in childhood. Do girls somehow internalize this message that men can be scary and hurt them?

Or are we creeping, at glacial pace, into a time where being gay actually occurs to younger people because it is more acknowledged as a choice?

Anonymous said...

amusing, girls have always loved girls. In the Victorian era, romance between girls was encouraged as a way for them to practice romance for men. As I mentioned in a earlier post, I think a lot more females would kiss females if it weren't for gynophobia. Females sport vaginas and therefore know how nasty they can be.

Or, as one wit once said, "Woman is a temple built atop a sewer."

But for many folks, male/female mating is an ephemeral phenomenon. We tolerate it because we have a biological imperative to procreate. When that's done, we retreat to our gender, even if it's only for coffee and conversation.

But amusing, as far as being gay being a choice, I think we're all gay, in various ways, and we didn't choose that, for why would anyone ever choose to incur the ire of bigots?

Lynnea said...

Meno, as Em is confiding in you it testifies that you handled things right. I'm glad things went well for her at least at school. But the cousin is a major jerk. No respect.

meno said...

dick, i didn't know that. Thanks for the information. I passed it on to the Mister and he is going to contact the officer and ask him to be sure and attend. I guess this guy is hoping for a dismissal based on a technicality.

jerimiah, wow, a hardened criminal who got off on a technicality. :) I'm glad it worked out for you. Thanks for making my pearls of wisdom gramatically correct.

D-man, they do indeed. It's a good marketing ploy.

bo, i like it, i may suggest that and help her create it.

de, he's just an asshole kid, but the urge to squash him is hard to squelch.

mignon, yeah, that's the one. I could say a few things in his defense, but i'm not really feelin'it right now, ya know?

bob, thanks for telling that story. On the one hand i am livid for your daughter and her hurt, and on the other hand i think fuck them, they don't deserve her. But that is really asinine, because she "might" start a relationship with a sorority sister. I will admit to a bias against sororities, and this just helps cement it.

holly, another story that is all too believable. And you are welcome, but really, is that anything more than one signs up for when one reproduces? It shouldn't be.

amusing, i don't see it that way as Em is definitely interested in boys too, but they are too much for her to deal with emotionally right now. I think it's more like thing #2. It's cool and exciting and different, but still safe.

holly, you used my favorite new word again! :)

maggie, yeah, sometimes she tells me stuff that makes me want to kill someone, but then i am sworn to secrecy. If i felt that any of those things posed an actual threat to her, i'd tell in a hearbeat, and she knows that. I know that i am glad she is talking to me, but....

LazyLazyMe said...





Girlplustwo said...

i love the clam up rule. act like you could care less and they'll rattle your brain for hours.

court, well, court sucks. it's uncouth.

meno said...

lazy, confuzzlement??? Please help by sending a translator.

jen, an essential rule for teens!

Lucia said...

Will someone tell me what the deal is with Project Runway? Hmmmmmmm?

Teri M. said...

Drunk and 19 do not good judgement help.
I suppose that adolescence has always been difficult, but does it seem more so these days to anyone else?

amusing said...

Oh dear -- let me clarify. I don't mean "choice" as in you choose to be gay. I meant there is not as much pressure to hide it, deny it, avoid the possibility that one might be gay. When I worked for an international arts festival my mother and I got into a discussion of "her day" (granted it's my mother, but..) and she talked about how often people felt forced to get married to be normal. That seemed sad and tragic. And I think there is much less of it today.

Jees. Have I even managed to explain it this time? Maybe not.

amusing said...

Oh -- and what I really came to say was -- hey, do you think they kick Jeffrey out? They definitely teased it that way in the promo. It would be a shame because from what they have shown of the final collections, his stuff is definitely the most creative.

meno said...

lucia, as in what the hell are we all going on about? God knows, but i don't have a lot of exposure to TV, but this one facinates me. At this point, it's the only TV show i watch. I know i have a problem, and i'll get help, after the season is over.

teri, no shit. I decided today that i am going to call his father, my brother, and ask him if he knows that his 19 yo is drinking at his house. On adolescence (dear god, i'm so impressed that you were able to spell that) i think in some ways it is more difficult, and in some ways easier. The parents of today, the ones i know, are so on to these poor kids, they can't get away with anything.

amusing, i love you, and i mean that in the best way possible. You explained it so that i understand. It's a touchy issue, and there are bound to be misunderstandings. Jeffery is talented, but he has been such an ass that i would like to see him taken down a peg. It's not like it will hurt his future. Having made it this far, he's a made man.

Mother of Invention said...

Hmmm...thought cousins were supposed to be supportive friends. Yikes, that's awfully disappointing.

Hope your daughter continues to be open with you. That is so amazingly different from our parents. We never talked to them about sex or anything related. In one generation, I can see this has changed for the better.

Hope the cop shows up!

urban-urchin said...

Lucia bite your tongue! Project Runway is amazing. Granted I am a designer so I have special interest in the show (and recoil in horror at the idea of going on the show as friends have suggested). But it shows a little of the work and dare I say it the art involved in creating clothing.

Sorry to hear about Em's cousin- that's not right. Do his parents know about this and his underage drinking?

People's stupidity never ceases to amaze me. I know people who have had their cases thrown out as Dick said - but this moron was involved in an accident!!! Are you guys able to get restitution from him? How is that going?

Anonymous said...

I am amazed at how people think homosexuality is "normal". And if a person says anything to the's considered "bashing". I feel like the end is near because now wrong is right and right is wrong. If I feel a strong complusion to take things from stores or other places....I have a strong complusion I need to deal with. I need to confront it. I need to control it. How then is acting out one's attraction for a same-sex person any different than simply allowing one's self to take-whenever-I-FEEL-like it? We are all born with complusions.

meno said...

MOI, i adored my cousins, so this really is disappointing.

u-u, guess you can tell the answer to your questions from subsequent post. I ratted him out. On the car thing, since the pinhead had no insurance, our insurance is covering the loss and the rental car under our uninsured motorists policy. Then our insurance company sues pinhead to get their money back. (and good luck to them)

anon. We'll just have to disagree on this one. And the difference that i see is in one case you are hurting another entity by stealing their property.